A Dust-Up Over Gays

I concluded a recent article, Things That Bug Me, with the following three paragraphs: “Speaking of political cowardice, isn’t it high time that judges and legislators stopped coddling homosexuals? While it’s true that, as a rule, being childless, they have a fair amount of money to contribute to those politicians who bow to their wishes, it’s not as if they represent a lot of votes outside of San Francisco, L.A. and New York.

“Frankly, I don’t know just when it was that sodomites became a protected class, but it’s rather obnoxious when politicians curry favor with them by promoting same-sex marriages and pretending that it is the equivalent of uprooting slavery and repealing Jim Crow laws.

“One of the sillier things about homosexuals is the way they like to insist that inside every heterosexual is an interior decorator screaming to be let out. If you buy that, perhaps you also believe that inside every liberal nutcase is a rational conservative begging to be set free.”

I didn’t think I had written anything particularly offensive, unless people took exception to my referring to those who practice sodomy as sodomites, so you can understand why I was so taken aback when I received an email from a friend whose opinion I greatly respect, and who, by the way, is a heterosexual conservative. It began, “I don’t know if you realize it…or care…but you come off as an out and out bigot. I re-read the last few grafs of your column several times to see if I was over-reacting. I wasn’t.”

He went on to say some complimentary things about me, but then went on: “You paint with such a broad brush that…you sound like the Christian evangelicals who don’t seem to understand that the same God they worship every second of every day created gays just as He created straights.

“You don’t have to be for same-sex marriage, but your distaste at best and hatred at worst for gay people — as a group — is evident. I suspect you won’t take this well and I’m prepared for whatever comes.”

As I said, I like and respect this fellow very much, and I therefore felt that I owed him, along with all of you, an honest response to an email I knew he had not enjoyed writing.

I replied: “I’m not angry. You are a decent human being. For all I know, you may have gay family members and took what I wrote personally, as an attack on your loved ones.

“If I say that what people do in private is their business, you may discount it with the same skepticism you and I would display towards an anti-Semite who claimed that some of his best friends are Jews, but it happens to be true. My negative attitude is not Bible-based, as I am not an evangelical Christian, as you know.

“But I contend that nothing having to do with gays is private these days. Here in California, not only are they always parading around, but they have intimidated politicians to such an extent that teachers now have to devote time to promoting homosexuality…and classroom discussions regarding the negative aspects of the life style are forbidden.

“Gay pride? What in the hell is there to be so proud of? Their only distinction as a group is that they play in poop. If you knew someone who got his sexual gratification from sticking his fingers in excrement, you would think he belonged in a loony bin. But because it’s their sex organ, you feel obliged to leap to their defense, as if I were attacking their religion or their race.

“Out here, when Proposition 8 was defeated, homosexuals intimidated people going to church, but only so long as they were Catholic or Mormon churches; they gave a wide berth to black Baptist churches, even though blacks had voted against same-sex marriages by an even wider margin than whites had. So we can add cowardice to the list.

“Finally, and on a personal level, a gang of gays confronted the wife of a friend of mine who owns a restaurant because the wife, who actually manages the place, is a Mormon who had contributed $100 to the “No On 8” campaign. It was bad enough that the gays waged a boycott against the restaurant, even though several of the cooks and waiters were gay and would have been laid off if my friends hadn’t made accommodations so that nobody had to be fired when business inevitably decreased. Even so, the gay pickets screamed vile epitaphs at her for days on end. She finally had to leave town and visit out-of-state relatives because she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“Having been employed in show business for several years, I have worked with a great many homosexuals and I have even liked some of them. But the same is true of me and liberals. But those were different times, and these days we are dealing with a very different brand of left-winger and a very different sort of homosexual.”

After mulling it over for a few hours, I sent along the following postscript: “I neglected to mention it earlier, but just for the record I also don’t like heterosexuals whose identity seems to be totally wrapped up in their sexual exploits and in keeping count of how many women they’ve had sex with.

“Yet another item on the negative side of the ledger when it comes to gays is the way they demonized Ronald Reagan because he didn’t devote every last federal medical research dollar to finding a cure for AIDS, even if it meant taking it away from finding a cure for childhood leukemia, cancer, Parkinson’s and AZ.

“In a related matter, even when it became quite clear how the HIV virus was transmitted, the San Francisco gays descended on City Hall and demanded that their precious bathhouses be kept open. Then, for good measure, the gay activists concocted the term “homophobia,” so that they could suggest that people who objected to their behavior be seen as suffering from a psychological disorder, as if disapproving of sodomy was the same thing as fearing great heights, spiders and dark, enclosed spaces. An unwarranted fear of gays? I don’t think so.

“But perhaps the last straw was their insisting that depriving them of the right to marry each other is akin to slavery or Jim Crow laws.

“I’m not trying to convince you to believe as I do, but it’s not every day I wake up to find that a friend has denounced me as a bigot, and I just felt I should make my position clear.

“Finally, unless you take strong exception to the use of the word ‘sodomite’ in my article, I would hardly describe those final three paragraphs as hateful or even out of place in a piece dealing with things that bug me. I would even go so far as to suggest that the final graf was somewhat amusing, although I take it you disagree.

“Regards, Burt”

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • http://twitter.com/FoghornDaddyO Jeff Adamson

    Fifth paragraph, last line: God did NOT “create” gays, he created man “in his own image”, and he created woman as “a fit helper for him”. Just how do the homosexuals (and their supporters) believe man would have propagated had God been “gay” and created “gay” humanity? Homosexuality is an abomination, and no matter how many causes they attribute it to, it is just plain WRONG! It is NOT a disease, genetic, hereditary, contagious, or otherwise. It is a psychological disorder of  social engineering.

  • Paul Courtney

    Burt:  I’m also with you, and hope your conservative friend can learn to recognize the difference between bigotry (by definition, unprovoked) and an angry response to the provocation of activists.  Sure, gays have faced some discrimination, but to equate it to what blacks have suffered is an insult studiously ignored by the MSM (another good cause for our anger and frustration).  As I’ve said before, gays made great strides against discrimination with the “keep gov’t out of our bedroom” mantra.  Now they are demanding, in shrill tones, that their bedroom be displayed on the steps of city halls everywhere.  Like Bill Clinton, I feel your pain!

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Paul–Homosexuality went from being the love that dared not speak its name to being the love that never shuts its yap.  Gays went from being in the closet to having a parade on Main Street every other day.


      • AWoman

        And? Your point? Sure, I can agree there’s no need for a parade simply because one is LGTB. But LGBT people should not have to hide in a “closet” because some find them disgusting.

        Day after day, hour upon hour, the visual & verbal notice of straight attraction is everywhere. Hand holding, kissing (even just a peck on the cheek), hugs, shared I-love-yous, ect. Why should a 30-years solidly committed couple, a 10 week couple for that matter, have to hide their expressions mutual affection? Because it “disgusts” you?

        Get over yourself! Or better yet, don’t freakin’ look!

  • cmacrider

    Burt:  Smoking can cause lung cancer:  homosexual behavior can cause AIDS.  Isn’t it rather curious as to the government and the pc movements remarkably different responses to the two problems.

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Not really.  Liberals always play to their base.


    • AWoman

      Umm… homosexual behavior can *not* “cause AIDS”. Sex *period* is but one way to transmit the HIV virus from one infected person to another. AIDS can develop from HIV virus.

  • DanB_Tiffin

    “homophobia?”Poop on the sidewalk disgusts me, but I do not fear it.

  • Jeffreydan

     Gay activists have a habit of doing & saying stuff that ranges from “doesn’t deserve respect” to “begs for outright contempt.”  

      I honestly thought that the language you used was a bit rougher than what I’ve read in most of your other columns, but part of that could be from the smidgen of political correctness that hangs out in the back corner of my brain.

      Understand also, that compared to what we get from creeps like Dan Savage, your column was downright elegant.    

    • BurtPrelutsky

       I suspect that I merely adapt my writing to the topic.  Some topics are more elegant than others.


  • Ike

    Glad you aren’t ‘scared’ of their backlash Burt. The irritating thing about homosexuality is their whole lifestyle is based around their sexual “preference”. I don’t revolve my life around my straight “preference”. Tax benefits for legal marriage is basically a reward for producing children. I don’t see what the big deal is.

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Neither do I, Ike.  The fact of the matter is that same-sex marriage is a trumped-up issue manufactured by gay activists.  If it were all that important there would be a lot more homosexual marriages taking place in those states where it’s legal.  Lesbians seem somewhat more interested in tying the knot; male gays not so much.


    • Oldsuperman

      As a gay man that is offensive. No my lifestyle is based around my family, my partner, my grandchild, my church, my work, my social life and on and on. Many many heterosexual couple have children without “Producing” them. You’re a bigot. And so is Burt. You’re both also “Homophobic”. Look it up.

  • GlenFS

    Seeing behaviors that you find abhorant predominate in any group of people does not make you hateful.  It may predispose you to judging an individual by those stereotypes, but only you would know if you’re hateful.  You say you’re not and I see no reason not to believe you. 

    I don’t want to know what anyone’s sexual habits are and agree with your list of objectional behavior.  Thanks for writing a thoughtful piece.

    • BurtPrelutsky

      Thank you, Glen.  Quite frankly, I’ve been far more hateful towards liberal politicians, so perhaps Barney Frank has a legitimate bone to pick with me because he must think I’m always picking on him.


  • Michael

    Burt, I’ve had similar experiences in conversations with friends.  Gays and their supporters only want to talk about homosexuality in terms of “two people loving each other in a loving relationship in a loving home, blah blah blah.”   You can be the nicest guy, the most helpful neighbor, the most fair employer, etc., but if you don’t embrace the idea of two men packing each other’s pooper with their penis, then you are labeled a hater, bigot, right-wing extremist, etc. 

    • BurtPrelutsky

       That’s certainly the way I see it.  And Hollywood, on those occasions when they have obviously gay characters in movies and on TV, invariably portray them as asexual teddy bears, who are simply nicer, more loyal and wittier, than everyone else in sight.


  • Artlouis

    The gays exert incredible political leverage. Reliable estimates place their number at between 3 and 4 percent of the U.S. population. Yet almost nobody in public office dares speak out against any part of their political agenda, whatever they might think privately.  This seems well-nigh unprecedented. I am not clear how they accomplished this. 

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Artlouis: In modern-day America, if you claim victimhood, you get it.  It’s clearly a growth industry.


      • Blueneoncat

        Burt there is so much wrong here with what you wrote but I am fairly sure nothing I could say would get your to change your opinions.  I will leave you with this. It may surprise you that not all gay people are sodomites, I know many gay people who do not practice sodomy as part of their sexual behavior.  I also know many straight sodomites and lastly most sodomites are very hygienic and know how to have sex “without playing in poop”.  Yes your friend was correct you are an uninformed bigot.