A Few Names in the News

I realize there are perfectly decent Republicans who still hold out hope that, through divine or not so divine intervention, Santorum, Gingrich or Paul, will wind up being the GOP nominee. I have no doubt that years ago, they were perfectly decent children who believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. So while I hate to destroy anyone’s delusions, I think it is high time that the RNC grew up and faced reality.

For openers, if this primary season has taught us anything, it’s that the GOP needs to address its laundry list of mistakes. One, they should do away with caucuses; if a state doesn’t wish to stage an actual primary for whatever reason, they should just sit it out. Are you listening, Iowa?

Two, let’s put an end to open primaries. Why would Republicans want Democrats helping to decide who our nominee is going to be? Do you really think they have our best interests at heart?

Three, let’s stop putting Iowa and New Hampshire at the head of the parade. In a general election, neither state is all that important, but because they come first, the nation has to focus on them for weeks, even months, at a time. And no more punishing states like Florida and Michigan for wanting to move up the dates of their primaries. Instead, have a start date; say January 15th, and then allow each state to determine when they want to hold their primary. If they all decide on January 16th, so be it. At least we wouldn’t have to drag these things on endlessly.

Finally, assuming all the primaries wouldn’t take place on the same date, candidates who don’t achieve a certain level of support would be excluded from future ballots. As I write this, there have been nearly 30 primaries or caucuses, and thus far Gingrich has won two and Paul, who is making his third run, has once again won none. There is no good reason that they should continue to be regarded as serious candidates, in just the same way that a bunch of wannabes looking to garner some publicity have no business clogging up the debates. I mean, seriously, did anyone, including his daughters, ever really believe that Jon Hunstman was going to be the nominee?

As long as I’m busy making rules, I would like to make a rule that nobody ever again be tried for a hate crime. A crime is a crime, and whether the victim is a black, a Hispanic or a homosexual, should not make the punishment any more severe than if the victim is a WASP. One can safely assume that every crime is hateful to the victim. People who favor concentrating on “hate” rather than “crime” are the same noodle-heads who are unaware that “social justice” is an oxymoron. Justice doesn’t call for adjectives. Once they’re added on, it ceases to be justice, which is why Lady Justice is always pictured blindfolded and why Martin Luther King pleaded for a colorblind society.

Not too long ago, I saw Rosie O’Donnell and Angelica Houston on TV sticking up for Sandra Fluke, and pretending on Obama’s behalf that mandating contraception and abortion for employees of Catholic entities is not actually an infringement on religious freedom, but is all about women’s health.

In their discussion, they parroted the old line about men having no business being involved in women’s reproductive freedom. Even if we ignore the fact that men are fathers, brothers and boyfriends, whose own lives will be greatly affected because of the decisions made by women, by what stretch of the imagination do these two women — one a 50 year old lesbian, the other a 60 year old who has all the reproductive freedom she could possibly want, thanks to Mother Nature — have commenting on things that don’t involve them?

I recently got word that over 50,000 people have been killed in Mexico over the past five years. At about the same time, I learned that Malia Obama had been vacationing in Mexico with some of her school chums.

I must confess it surprised me that her mother, who seems overly concerned that your kids are eating an occasional cupcake, would send her child to a place that makes Kandahar seem as safe as Lincoln’s bedroom.

Then I heard that the kids were accompanied by 15 Secret Service agents! That’s 15 –count them–- 15!

The first thing that occurred to me was that I helped pay for that kid’s vacation.

The second thing that occurred to me was, like mother, like daughter.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com!

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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GC36UFUX3FP57OIQ74YHHQUL3M wally

    Burt. I think most of your article was on target. However, it doesn’t matter which state goes first in the primary process although I do agree that Iowa’s caucus is out of date. So what, it doesn’t matter. Have another beer and get on with things that do. Besides if we didn’t have those crazy first primaries, you and a whole bunch of reporters and bloggers would be out of business for a while until the real action starts.

  • BurtPrelutsky

    Glen: I agree.  That’s what the last line is all about.

    PatriotBelle:  Absolutely.  Yesterday, I got an email from a reader who actually hoped that Romney would lose so that the GOP would learn a lesson.  The dope hoped America should suffer another four years of Obama so that the GOP would start nominating more conservative candidates.  First, I asked him how he expected his dream candidate, whoever it might be, could possibly win a general election if he couldn’t win Republican primaries.  Then, I told him he was a disgrace to conservatism.  No conservative I know would place Party purity above America’s survival.

    Ron: I didn’t say Iowa or New Hampshire would want to.

    Regards, Burt

  • therealguyfaux

    Pardon me, Burt, but you seem to be laboring under the misconception that making sense means anything to these Lefties and to ego-driven candidates of any political stripe.  That’s the point– they know most people can’t be made to think because it hurts their head too much!  That’s why they appeal to people’s knee-jerk impulses.  If you made the Anjelica Hustons and Rosie O’Butchdykes of the world have to state that basic premise before they made any other pronouncements, at least we’d know what they were up to.  And if, perchance, THEY are not that diabolical, and their pronouncements are a result of THEIR failure to think, we ought to know that, too!

  • Glen


    Good article, just one minor quibble, Malia is still a kid… so this one’s on Michelle too.  She calls the shots for her kids.  Given her entitlement thinking and example, her kids will no doubt feel the same, but too early to apply responsibility on them.

  • PatriotBelle

    Good article, Burt. I agree with all and mostly with what a mess the RNC made with the primaries. It shouldn’t have turned out to be so vicious. It is time for the party to unite behind Romney in order to rescue America and return her to greatness.

  • Ron Kean

    Iowa and New Hampshire will want to give up their early predictor status like NYC will want to demolish the Empire State Building or LA give up the Hollywood sign.

    Hate isn’t against the law, I agree.