A Poignant Consultation at an Abortion Clinic

THE SCENE: An abortion clinic in a medium-sized city.
THE PLAYERS: The clinic administrator, a pregnant woman and the clinic doctor.

ADMINISTRATOR: Welcome to Planned Non-Parenthood, Mrs. Dummer, how can we help you?

CLIENT: I read about the trendy, new gender-based abortions, which started in China. I wonder if you make them available here? I understand that they are a bit controversial.

ADMINISTRATOR: Yes, we do provide them. We don’t let morals, ethics, human decency or any other such outmoded considerations stand in the way of profit. Why, are you pregnant?

CLIENT: Yes, I just got the report from my doctor. I am nine weeks pregnant.

ADMINISTRATOR:: Congratulations are in order, I suppose — at least for now. Have you consulted with your husband about this?

CLIENT: No, I haven’t seen him in eleven weeks. He’s an engineer with a firm that is cutting down all the trees in the Brazilian rain forest.  They will be used to build Donald Trump’s next summer  home.

ADMINISTRATOR: Eleven weeks? Then it’s not his baby.

CLIENT: No, but close enough. By the time the baby arrives, the timing will be blurred.

ADMINISTRATOR:  Ah, then you want the baby. We are very busy here. We have no time for mothers who want their babies.

CLIENT: I am not sure that I want the baby. That’s why I am here. There is one circumstance under which I would want the baby aborted.


CLIENT: I have been watching a lot of reality shows. Everybody in my circle is hooked on them. I have learned a lot from them about all the new sexes that are rising up in our society.

ADMINISTRATOR: How do you mean “all.” There still are only two, as far as I know.

CLIENT: Oh, no, you should see some of the people who appear on these  shows. There was one person there who had a man’s name, but he didn’t behave at all like a man, but when I studied him for a while, I couldn’t say that he was a woman either. So he must belong to one of the new sexes.

ADMINISTRATOR: Can we finesse that point, and have you just tell me what you want?

CLIENT: I consider myself open-minded, and would be proud to have a child from most of the eight sexes, or however many there are. But there is one that I would prefer to abort, if I can get advance warning.


CLIENT: I wouldn’t want to have a boy who wishes he was a girl, and who would get a sex-change operation, and then become a Lesbian. That is too complicated for my simple mind, and it doesn’t  even make sense. If he remained a man, he and his female partners wouldn’t have to waste money on sex toys. I feel within my rights to request an abortion in such a case, because President Obama has not come out against it, although I don’t know for sure whether he has evolved into feeling comfortable about it.

ADMINISTRATOR: All right, get up on the table and I will ask the doctor to come in.

(Doctor enters.)

ADMINISTRATOR: Doctor, this lady would like us to perform an abortion on her only if the child in her womb is a boy who will want to have a sex-change operation and then become a Lesbian.

DOCTOR: (whispering)  How the BLEEP am I supposed to know that?

ADMINISTRATOR: (whispering) Just scope her out, and I’ll do the talking.

(The doctor does whatever he is supposed to do.)

ADMINISTRATOR: Let me look at the screen.  My goodness! This is an incredible coincidence. Mrs. Dummer, you have in there a baby boy who is going to want a sex change, and then  pursue life as a Lesbian.

(The doctor makes a gagging sound.)

CLIENT: How can you tell?

ADMINISTRATOR: How can I tell, you ask? Look at the screen yourself.

(Mrs. Dummer looks at the screen, but seems nonplussed.)

CLIENT: I can’t tell anything from the screen. I don’t even know how to tell that it’s a boy.

ADMINISTRATOR: Well, it is. We are professionals here.

CLIENT: But what about the Lesbian thing?

ADMINISTRATOR: Look carefully, can’t you see that he is reading a miniature copy of Sappho’s poetry?

CLIENT: No. How would such a thing get in there? Oh, wait, I think I know.


CLIENT: I’d rather not say.

ADMINISTRATOR: We can schedule you for an abortion a week from today.


ADMINISTRATOR: A special case like this will cost extra, I’m afraid.

CLIENT: That’s OK. I am covered by Obamacare.  They are very lenient. (She leaves.)

DOCTOR: Mildred, how could you do such a thing?

ADMINISTRATOR:  Listen, Doc, you like getting paid big bucks for killing babies, no? How much do you think you could make saving lives? Fuggedaboddit!

Author Bio:

Arthur Louis spent more than forty years as a print journalist, with the Philadelphia Inquirer, McGraw-Hill, Fortune magazine and the San Francisco Chronicle, but he is not asking for sympathy. He is the author of two non-fiction books: The Tycoons, and Journalism and Other Atrocities, as well as a novel, The Little Champ. In retirement, he has decided unilaterally that he is a profound political pundit.
Author website: http://bernardgoldberg.com
  • Artlouis

     Yes, the women who behave most selfishly have been given a license to kill.

  • sendtheclunkerbacktochicago

    Oh, it is much worse than this.  Obama and his lovely wife and the other Jeremiah Wright cult members fought against the Born Alive Act back when Barack Hussein Obama was a Illinois State Senator.  The Born Alive Act was a law to order doctors to offer care for any baby that survived an abortion.  Obama and his lovely cult members fought to allow those babies to die via starvation and exposure to the elements.   Don’t believe me, you can google for all the details.  These cult members are as evil as they come and at this point in time Obama is their leader. 

    • Artlouis

      That is murder, isn’t it?

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/ZHOWZO7PTWEB522QIDPTZ7LS3A Clark Kent

    Not funny.

  • CCNV

    Unfortunately, you’re probably not too far off on this ‘conversation’. I believe there’s a special place in Hell for people who kill unborn babies and children.