A Post-Mortem

How is it, people wonder, that Obama could be re-elected with an economy that’s barely breathing; a foreign policy that led to the Benghazi massacre and a cover-up that puts Watergate in the shade; soaring prices at the gas pump; a war on the oil and coal industries; a diminished military; increased taxes; ObamaCare; handing GM over to a labor union; and an unemployment rate that’s worse than the one he’s spent four years complaining he inherited?

How, indeed? Well, for openers, Hispanics see the federal government as one big piñata, filled with goodies. Likewise, blacks, single women and immature males, think that Uncle Sam is really their Sugar Daddy.

When it comes to my fellow Jews, who continue to confound Gentiles with their dedication to the Left, the explanation isn’t all that mystifying. For most of them, their religion of choice isn’t Judaism, it’s Liberalism. I can’t tell you how often I hear from totally perplexed Christians who ask me how it is that such well-educated people can continue to vote like the dregs of society. In part, the answer is that Jews only appear to vote against their own self-interest. They aren’t really all that altruistic. When you realize what a large percentage of defense attorneys; ACLU lawyers; members of the public sector unions, including those involving teachers and social workers; the media; and, yes, the gay community; are Jewish, their devotion to the Democratic Party isn’t all that surprising.

Another part of the answer is that being well-educated generally guarantees a good income, but it has next to nothing to do with possessing wisdom or commonsense. And without them, education is really nothing more than lipstick on a pig or tinsel on a rotted tree.

One of the sobering notes of the election is that Americas are now so dumb, greedy and morally pathetic, the Democrats no longer have to cheat on Election Day. They used to fight for racial equality and a strong national defense, but now wage war on behalf of abortions on demand and same-sex marriages.

Once again, single women voted overwhelmingly for Barack Obama, just as they did for Clinton, Gore and Kerry. It leads me to hope that they continue to be conscientious about using those all-important birth control pills. God forbid they start reproducing!

A few people asked me why on earth Colin Powell continues to call himself a Republican when he keeps endorsing Democrats when elections roll around. It’s my theory that he hopes to pass himself off as a man above the fray, a man who votes for the best man running. Because Powell used to be a general, a lot of people fall for his charade. He’s about as Republican as Chris Matthews and about as non-partisan as Juan Williams, who just might get to play him if Hollywood ever gets around to producing “The Colin Powell Story.”

When it comes to misidentifying himself, Powell is no worse than 30% of the population. Whereas we used to hear that 40% of Americans identified themselves as conservatives and a mere 20% identified themselves as liberals, in spite of the obvious fact that in every election 40% of the people vote for the Republican and 40% vote for the Democrat, we now hear in the aftermath of the election that 38% of us are Democrats, 32% are Republicans and 30% are something called moderates. I’m afraid that baloney is baloney, no matter how thin you slice it, and it pains me when I hear right-wing pundits parrot this malarkey. No moderate would have ever voted for Barack Obama, the most left-wing radical to have ever been president.

Instead of asking people to identify themselves, all we need to do is to check election results. That also goes for repeating the lie that America is still a slightly right of center nation.

With the increasing number of Hispanics, blacks, single females, gays, Asians and brain-washed college students, we’re about as conservative as Norway.

If America had been invaded by foreign enemies, we could have fought back. But this wasn’t a foreign invader. It’s as if America had died of cancer or a self-inflicted bullet to the head. The fat lady sang, and it wasn’t the National Anthem. We have all heard about criminals who, having been cornered, refuse to be captured and incarcerated. Instead, they choose to go out in a blaze of gunfire. It’s called suicide by cop. What happened on November 6th was suicide by voter.

I see America as a nation in ruins. The difference is that, unlike the ancient cities of Rome and Athens, tourists won’t be showing up to take pictures.

I intend to keep writing until they pull this keyboard out of my cold, dead hands, but I have to confess that I’m hearing the siren call of Canada. You may not realize it, but all of Canada has fewer people than California. There are only 33 million Canadians. If all of us conservatives moved up there, we could re-create the America the Founding Fathers envisioned.

After all, Canada is a large, beautiful country, the people are friendly and they even have a major league baseball team.

Once we gained control, we would have to be vigilant in protecting our southern border. We would also have to keep Alexis de Tocqueville’s wise words constantly in mind: “A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations has been 200 years.”

That was one very wise Frenchman. Therefore, in order to avoid the inevitable pitfall he described, when we all get to Canada, I suggest we agree to make me the king.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • 49corvette

    Wow—keep up the good work—really struck a chord—talked to my Mom the other night and she asked me : “Why don’t you move to Canada?”—Won’t do it of course—Great to hear some Fire that resonates—Please keep it up—as Jackson Gillis might say : “Truth , Justice and the American Way”—BTW—on a lighter note—best episode “Columbo” featured Richard Kiley—also believe that FDR did what he had to do , and had sincere belief in America—Just as I believe that LBJ was one of “The Greats”—I even liked Walter Mondale heaven forbid—The country now is just too trite—and cannot even tell the difference—if Romney had won would not be typing this now in all likelihood—my2cents—Thanx for reading

  • artlouis

    Burt, Have you considered Israel? A more agreeable head of government, certainly, and if his party gets thrown out you can always fly El Al to Toronto (I think).

  • Mario__P


    You still believe you know more than your educated Jewish friends? That’s just as ludicrous as an Evangelical Christian who believes he knows more about science than the scientific community. Seriously, think about it. You are the minority for your thinking, and chances are you are the one who is wrong. Unless the GOP takes some drastic measures on its stance on issues, the great W will be remembered as not only one of our worst presidents, but also as the last Republican one. The demographic that voted mostly in favor of Romney is dying out and will be replaced by more moderate and liberal populous. It’s time you admitted defeat and learn to deal with your stubbornness.

  • Cameron MacKay

    King Burt: Since you are happily married we will “give it a go.” Last time we put a “Bertie” on the throne he gave up Crown and Empire and ran off and married a “wealthy American Divorcee.”
    One caution on moving to Canada … it is debatable as to whether we have a major league baseball team … all we have is the Toronto Blue Jays

  • AllenJ

    Just a note about Powell. This guy has the courage of his convictions. I don’t think that his endorsement of Obama was any more racially motivated than Kid Rock’s endorsement of Romney. He saw first hand the failures of the Bush presidency. He didn’t see Romney learning anything from that. Republicans should engage Powell in a dialog about the future of the party. It seems he may have some insights to share.

  • AllenJ

    These bums have deleted my post about Canada not being the conservative paradise Prelutsky says it is. This shows how bogus this site really is.

    • JohnDalyAuthor

      As someone who writes for this site, I can tell you that if you’re posts aren’t showing up, it’s because the auto-filter found an objectionable word in them. It’s happened to me too, on occasion. I can promise you that we have no moderator going through posts they don’t like, and deleting them.

      • AllenJ

        Some of the posts have now shown up. I’m really careful about objectionable words because I know about the filters. They look for the word, not the context.

  • AllenJ

    Canadians have government health care, free access to abortion and birth control and they pay much higher taxes. Canadians don’t want a bunch of semi-literate buffoons from the USA who can’t accept a clear win in a democracy.

    Canada is Obama’s model for the future. Not a bad one, from where I sit.

    • JohnDalyAuthor

      Are you kidding? Based on the smart things Canada’s done with their economy in recent years, they’re now more American than America is. Trying to be more like them, these days, would be a step in the right direction. I still prefer a pre-Obama America though.

      • AllenJ


        Trust me. I am a Canadian. We have a single payer government funded health care system with generally better outcomes than the American system. We have lower infant mortality rates, longer life expectancies, etc. We have abortion on demand – there are no anti abortion laws here. We have same-sex marriage and we have higher income tax and general tax rates than the USA. Our banks have more regulations and as a result none of them failed during the fiscal meltdown. We have tighter mortgage rules that helped us avoid the real estate collapse of 2008 – 2009. Obama’s policies are more like Canada than the Republican platform.

        My suggestion is that we should all step back and take a deep breath. Frum writes a column on CNN.COM You should read it. I really want to see a viable alternative to the Democrats. The current Republicans won’t fill that bill.

        Our government has taken religion out of politics. The separation of church and state is the first step for you.

        • Cameron MacKay

          As a Canadian I suggest David Frum is about as conservative as his Mother, and Tommy Douglas,

        • Cameron MacKay

          Allen: Trust me, I am a Canadian … please tell your American friends about the waiting lines for hip replacements … and drop the myth about our wonderful medicare system. Further, our banks are not “more regulated” than the regulations which American banks have been subjected to … we just have a federal banking system with less input from politicians like Clinton, Obama, and Barnie Franks on who qualifies for a mortgage.

      • AllenJ

        Oh yes! I forgot to mention – tough anti-gun laws. Hand guns are generally banned in Canada except with special permission.

  • AllenJ

    I wonder if the moderator will allow opinions that don’t coincide with Fox news. Maybe not.

  • AllenJ

    This is my third attempt to get my comment on this page. What happened to free discourse?

  • sroysr

    long live the king!!!