A Stroll Through My Brain

After you finish this article, Burt hopes you’ll also enjoy Ringing In the New Year.

This past year may have set a record for shootings involving multiple victims. The worst of these was the massacre in Newtown, CT, where Adam Lanza murdered 20 little children and seven adults, including his mother, before finally killing himself.

A short time later, William Spengler burned down his house in Webster, NY, in order to lure firefighters to their death. Before he killed himself, he murdered two firemen, wounded two others and a policeman, and left seven families homeless on Christmas Eve when his house fire spread to theirs.

In the aftermath of all this senseless violence, politicians decided what was needed were more gun control laws and the gumption to stand up to the NRA. That’s because politicians share a number of characteristics with sheep; what they lack is the ability to provide the world with wool, veal and lamb chops.

So far as I know, none of the 2012 mass killings were perpetrated by members of the NRA. They were committed by men who should, themselves, have been committed. In the case of William Spengler, the question shouldn’t be where he got his guns, but inasmuch as he had bludgeoned his grandmother to death with a hammer back in 1980, why was he still alive and running around loose 32 years later?

The fact is assault weapons were banned in the 1990s and it did nothing to diminish violence in America. Gun control laws don’t make any of us any safer because criminals will always have access to their weapons of choice; such laws only deprive those who are law-abiding from protecting themselves, while giving self-righteous politicians the illusion that they are being proactive.

Although NRA’s chief honcho Wayne LaPierre came in for a lot of predictable razzing when he suggested that cops be stationed at America’s schools, I had already come up with the notion on my own. I mean, why should Obama’s daughters be so much better-protected than everyone else’s kids?

When people snickered at LaPierre, pointing out that it would cost billions of dollars to pay the cops to patrol our thousands of schools, my own response was, “Who said anything about paying them?”

With all the ex-soldiers, ex-cops and retired NRA members in our midst, I suspect they would be quite willing to put in the time protecting their kids, grandkids, nephews and nieces. If we can have an all-volunteer military, why can’t we have an all-volunteer school patrol? And while we’re at it, I don’t see why we can’t have these men and women stationed in malls, playgrounds, parks and, if possible, at my front door.

In a related matter, when it comes to capital punishment, some people say that they base their objection on the Commandment against killing, but Biblical scholars will tell you that’s a fallacy, based on a bad translation of “Thou Shall Not Murder.”

Others argue that because there is a chance that an innocent person might be executed, it is better that a hundred guilty people go free. I can’t go along with that. It presupposes that those hundred will not murder anyone else. But as we know, and as William Spengler recently proved, it is not at all unlikely that an evil man who has murdered once will murder again.

But it is not just crime and punishment that engages me. For instance, I would advise Hollywood producers that if they wish to surprise an audience by bringing back a character in a movie who has apparently been killed off early in the proceedings, they should cast an unknown in the role. I still recall thinking how silly they were when, in Mission Impossible (1996), they showed Jon Voight being shot and falling into the river shortly after the movie began. I would hope that even small children were not blindsided when he reappeared later in the proceedings because even they understood that nobody was about to pay Mr. Voight’s salary for a two-minute cameo.

Finally, when liberals accuse conservatives of being racists because we hate what Obama, Eric Holder and Valerie Jarrett, are doing to this nation, I am reminded that radio pundit Dennis Prager once pointed out that it’s conservatives who would be overjoyed to have nine black justices on the Supreme Court if they were exactly like Clarence Thomas, and that it’s left-wingers who regularly employ the most scurrilous racial invective when referring to the distinguished likes of Justice Thomas, Condoleezza Rice, Thomas Sowell, Ward Connerly, Allen West, Walter Williams and Tim Scott.

It also bears mentioning that in districts in which white liberal voters constitute the majority, they never elect a black candidate to Congress. And what’s more, if the majority of those working in the media weren’t the sort of people who give cheap whores a bad name, they would occasionally point out the embarrassingly huge abyss that exists between what left-wingers say and the vile things they do.

For instance, after giving one of his typical somber, snooze-inducing, speeches in the wake of the Newtown tragedy, who did Barack Obama put in charge of the high-profile commission whose mission was to conduct a painstaking probe into gun violence? Why, none other than Joe Biden. But did you hear anyone in the media gasp in disbelief, “Joe Biden?!”

After all, nobody in his right mind would put Joe Biden in charge of bringing potato salad to a picnic. But, as we all know, the lap dog media would never question anything their personal savior says or does.

For my part, I was frankly astonished. Not in my wildest dreams would I have ever guessed that Obama had such a finely tuned sense of irony as to entrust a loose cannon with overseeing gun control legislation.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

After you finish this article, Burt hopes you’ll also enjoy Ringing In the New Year.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • I Hate Fascists

    You are calling me a racist? You who got 7% of the black vote. Of course in your sick mind that’s just further proof that blacks aren’t qualified to vote, which is why you Fascists tried every trick to suppress them from voting. Barefoot and pregnant now? Black hack? Are you trying for 0% next time? Keep it up you racist twit.

    Let’s try again pea brain. Clarence Thomas who sexually harassed Anita Hill. Thomas Sowell who thinks Obama=Hitler for making BP cough up $20B. Allen West who threatened to beat up little Debbie Wasserman Schultz unless she learned her place. These are your role models?

    Well at least you got something thru that empty head of yours. YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK. You don’t want it back? Good Riddance.

  • http://www.facebook.com/walter.mattson.39 Walter Mattson

    That is the way Burt. Don’t give a liberal any slack. Not only do they see all conservatives and libertarians as racists, they also see all words that conservatives say as racists. words like “apartment, food stamps, social security, articulate etc. Oh! I forgot to say unless they speak the word. They even have mastered the remake of words that actually mean something like “war on terror” is now “an oversees contingency operation” Can anyone really know what that means?.

  • Souvoter

    It seems to me that everything BO does is to purposely piss off conservatives or maybe he really is that incompetent!

  • cmacrider

    Burt: I acknowledge the merit of your suggestion to create an all volunteer school patrol. My only question is whether or not the school children will suffer some kind of severe case of anxiety when they discover there are mature responsible sensible adults in their school. Currently they only have school teachers as a reference point for adulthood.

    • Burt Prelutsky

      cma: I realize there will be a period of adjustment, but kids are pretty adaptable.


  • I Hate Fascists

    A journey to the center of Burt’s brain! Well there’s certainly a lot of room in there eh?

    White liberal voters will never elect a black man to Congress? Yeah right. Maybe President but not Congress.

    Distinguished likes of Clarence(“There’s a pubic hair in my Coke”) Thomas? Thomas(“Obama=Hitler for making BP cough up $20B”) Sowell? Allen (“Act like a lady or else”) West? These are role models?

    Yeah there’s no racism in the right wing. Not yet anyway because the handful of minorities are united with the white majority in hatred of a common enemy (liberals like me). But let’s say you actually do “take this country back”? Then you will turn to attacking each other, most likely along racial lines, because you know nothing but hatred. It’s inbred in you.

    But like I told you before (echo echo echo) YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK!

  • 49corvette

    Well said—Seems to me this old Earth is filled with ” Evil Brats “—” Genesis 6:11 ” comes to mind—LOL on the Jon Voight point—BTW he played Noah on the 1999 NBC mini-series “Noah’s Ark” (universally panned)—to quote Pete Seeger—“When will they ever learn?”—my2cents—thanx for reading

    • Burt Prelutsky

      49: I have tried and failed to recall a single Jon Voight movie I ever liked. I know he’s a conservative, but that doesn’t make him a good actor.


      • 49corvette

        Thank You—I did not mean to imply that “Voight” was the greatest thing since sliced bread—George Reeves or Gary Cooper were also “Good”—just sayin’ : well thought out and impactful article—impossible to fix problems without re-evaluation of values—as long as people “want” drugs , guns etc. and misuse—don’t think the problem will go away—like putting up protective fences on the Aurora Bridge (here in Seattle) to dissuade people intent on jumping—not against it , a step in the right direction—my2cents—thanx for reading

        • Burt Prelutsky

          49: If people are going to off themselves, they should do it ways that don’t cause problems for other people. Jumping off bridges, forcing others to fish them out of the drink, is simply inconsiderate. I suggest they rent eight or 10 Jim Carrey movies. I figure that should do the trick. Dying of boredom doesn’t create a mess.


          • 49corvette

            ” Touche’ “—Methinks that being forced to watch an all day marathon of “Gone With the Wind” on AMC on Thanksgiving Day would work just as well—Good Work Burt

          • Takincareofbusiness

            PBS always puts me to sleep every time.

      • Takincareofbusiness

        I thought he was good in “Holes”.

  • Mike

    Another great article sir.

    I’m not absolutely certain, but I think there are high schools in the southeast that employ school resource officers. The SROs are mandated police officers that provide security as well as some muscle to deal with thug students. I wonder if the “media” was aware of that before mocking LaPierre’s idea.

    • Burt Prelutsky

      Mike: If there’s one thing that the media hates more than Mr. LaPierre and the NRA, it’s America’s southeast.


  • Wally C

    Many good/great points Burt, thanks for posting!

    • Burt Prelutsky

      Wally: Thank you for noticing and for taking the time to say so.

      Regards, Burt

  • GlenFS

    Burt, that was exactly what I said to my wife upon hearing the news of Spengler’s attrocities… how does a man who kills his own grandmother EVER get out? A man who would do that has no limit to his capacity for evil.

    • Burt Prelutsky

      Glen: I would say the same about those who played any role in his release. Whether they were lawyers, judges or parole boards, I consider them all accessories to murder.