Ah, Sweet Mysteries of Life

by BurtPrelutsky

There are a number of questions I keep waiting to have answered, and I am getting doggone impatient. For instance, is Barack Obama’s mother-in-law still living in the White House? If she’s living there rent-free and dining on our dime, why do we never see her? They sure made a big deal about it when they moved her in, allegedly to help look after the grandkids, but then she fell off the face of the earth. Sort of like Bo, the invisible dog.

Rick Perry

Next, I want to know how much money Jeffrey Immelt is being paid to be Obama’s job czar. During WWII, a great many wealthy men went to Washington to serve their country and were known as dollar-a-year men because that is what they were getting paid. So, what’s Immelt’s salary? The fact is, if he, the man who runs GE, the outfit that paid no corporate taxes last year, the man who sent major divisions of his company over to China, is getting as much as a dollar-a-year, he is definitely being overpaid.

I’d also like to know why Bill O’Reilly divides everyone into one of two groups, patriots or pinheads. The opposite of a patriot, after all, is a traitor, whereas the opposite of a pinhead is someone who isn’t a liberal.

I was taken aback when so many people got on Mitt Romney’s case for offering to bet Rick Perry $10,000. For one thing, Romney knew he was betting a sure thing. For another, he knew that Perry wouldn’t take the bet, so he might as well have offered to wager a million dollars. But the blowback seemed to come from people who resented the fact that Romney could even afford to make such a sizable bet. Well, I think by this time, we all know that the man is a multi-millionaire. As Republicans, we are not supposed to resent wealthy people for no other reason than that they happen to be richer than we are. We leave that to the mutts in the Occupy Wall Street movement and to such wealthy hypocrites as Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Warren Buffet, George Soros and Matt Damon.

Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney

It’s one thing when Newt Gingrich, the man who subscribes to global warming, who thinks FDR — not Ronald Reagan — was the greatest president of the 20th century and who made his money the old-fashioned way, as a Washington insider lobbying for any outfit that met his price, to attack Romney for being a successful capitalist, but quite another when it’s done by conservatives.

In a related matter, I recall years ago watching an episode of the “Bob Newhart Show” in which the Hartleys (Newhart and Suzanne Pleshette) agreed not to exchange Christmas gifts one year. But as so often happens in the world of sit coms, the missus double-crossed her hubby by buying him a present. The gift turned out to be a $1,200 wristwatch. Watching at home, I still recall how shocked I was. As a rule, characters in TV sit coms were supposed to make it easy for the audience to identify with them. But here was a female lead in the mid-1970s spending a small fortune for a watch, and nobody I spoke to afterwards had even given it a second thought.

Now, 35 years later, a great many people seem to have been knocked off their pins because one rich guy unsuccessfully challenged another rich guy to make a bet. America is definitely getting older, but we don’t seem to be maturing.

Another silly controversy seems to be brewing over Tim Tebow’s Christian beliefs. A great many people are taking him to task because he credits Christ with whatever success he and his team have, and that he occasionally kneels on the field to give God a quick thank-you. It seems that some football fans can’t stand it when a quarterback kneels down for any reason other than to run out the clock.

Well, just as no atheists are said to reside in fox holes, I assume that everyone on a football field, whether or not he kneels and bows his head, is praying not to have his knees shattered or have his brains jarred loose.

What I don’t get is why people are picking on young Mr. Tebow. After all, nobody makes a big deal of the fact that just about every time a Latin baseball player hits a home run, he points heavenward as he crosses home plate, as if thanking God for making sure that the pitcher, no doubt a non-believer, threw him a gopher ball.

©2011 Burt Prelutsky.Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com!

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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Burt Prelutsky

    Glen–Perhaps you’re right. After all, not every pinhead in America is a traitor. But in that case, he should re-label those he approves of because the opposite of a pinhead is not really a patriot.


    • Glen Stambaugh

      Ah, here he gets to be magnanimous by labeling the usually reliably pinheaded traitorous leftist Hollywood types as “patriots” when they (somehow) vary from these tendencies! No dummy, Bill. Besides, it’s usually amusing.

  • Glen Stambaugh

    Burt, I suspect Bill O’ feels he gets plenty of blowback from his pinhead category without calling them traitors (“but I could be wrong” as Bill likes to say).

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Andrew: Why is it we’ve all heard that based on $5 billion in profits (in America), GE paid no federal income taxes? What exactly is Mr. Immelt doing for his no salary? The last time I saw him he and Obama were sitting at a table giggling over Obama’s line that (after a trillion dollar stimulus), apparently all those shovel-ready jobs weren’t quite so shovel-ready. Just curious, but what is your job at GE? P.R.?

    Regards, Burt

    • Andrew from GE

      Burt, I appreciate you reading and responding to my post.

      First of all, the misinformation about GE’s taxes came out of the New York Times. Here is a piece in Fortune magazine about how they got it wrong and GE did pay taxes in 2010:


      Over the past year, the Jobs Council has approached the real issues confronting the country in a systematic and targeted way. Take a look at the latest report:


      Also, the Jobs Council held 11 Listening & Action sessions across the country so we could hear directly from small and medium-sized businesses owners and entrepreneurs, labor leaders, and consumers about the challenges they face.
      1. Small Business Supply Chain Listening & Action Session—Dayton, OH (May 10)
      2. Small Business Exports Listening & Action Session— Minneapolis, MN (May 17)
      3. Jobs Council Participation in New York Forum—New York, NY (July 20)
      4. Jobs Council Participation in U.S. Conference of Mayors—Los Angeles, CA (July 23)
      5. Startup and Entrepreneurship Listening & Action Session—Palo Alto, CA (August 2)
      6. Engineering and Innovation Listening & Action Session—Portland, OR (August 31)
      7. InfrastructureInvestmentListening&ActionSession— Dallas, TX (September 1)
      8. Foreign Direct Investment Listening & Action Session—Washington, DC (October 7)
      9. Jobs Council Participation in Business Council Meeting — Atlanta, GA (October 20)
      10. Right Skills Now Launch — Plymouth, MN (October 27)
      11. New York Healthcare Workforce Training Launch – New York, NY (December 12)

      For more the latest on the Jobs-Council:


      • cmacrider

        hmmmmmm …. lots of buzy work and still the unemployment crisis endures. Maybe Immelt should suggest to Obama that he approve the XL Keystone Pipeline.

  • Andrew from GE

    Mr Immelt and other members of the Jobs Council are all volunteers serving their country and receive no salary.

    Also, you are parroting inaccurate reports about GE Healthcare’s X-Ray Division. GE did not move its x-ray operation to China. However, GE did announce in July that it was moving our x-ray headquarters from Waukesha to China — this “move” totals 4 GE executives. GE will not eliminate jobs in the United States or any of the other global x-ray sites based on moving the headquarters of the business to China. GE is the second largest exporter in the United States and China is a growing market. Having a presence in growing markets is critical for GE and the United States as we look for ways to remain competitive and create jobs at home. Take a look:
    Since 2009, GE has committed to investing hundreds of millions of dollars to create more than 10,000 manufacturing jobs in the U.S. Additionally, in the same period GE built or started to build 16 new plants in the United States:

    Futhermore, GE paid more than $1 billion in taxes last year.

    • cmacrider

      Andrew from G.E.
      I suggest that if G.E. paid “1 billion” in taxes that (a) you should retain a good tax accountant (b) re-invest the tax savings in the American economy. If in fact G.E. paid 1 billion in taxes after receiving competent tax advise, I suggest that you get Mr. Immelt to recommend to Obama that he adopt Ginghrich’s tax plan …

  • Nancye

    About Tebow: So it’s not okay for him to kneel after a TD, but in the recent past it was okay for some of the NFL players to do a vulgar dance in the end zone, such as wiggling their ugly backsides in front of the TV camera. Gimme a break!!! I’ll take the prayer anytime.

    • anna zachariah

      Sure am with you there. Vulgarity precedes faith – sadly, it’s the new world policy.