Assorted Fruit & Nuts

Because I live in California, I tend to think we have a monopoly when it comes to leftists and other demented souls. But the truth is, they’re scattered hither and yon.

For instance, when Obama was speaking at a fundraiser in Portland, Oregon, he gave a shout-out to Terence Bean. And well he should have, because not only had Mr. Bean hosted the event, but he had raised about $100,000 for Obama’s campaign in 2008. If you’re unfamiliar with his name, it’s probably because he’s a homosexual who’s made millions of dollars producing gay porn movies.

“There’s a class of colored people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Having learned that they are able to make a living out of their troubles, they have grown into the settled habit of advertising their wrongs – partly because they want sympathy, and partly because it pays. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances because they do not want to lose their jobs….There is a certain class of race-problem solvers who don’t want the patient to get well because as long as the disease holds out, they have not only an easy means of making a living, but also an easy medium through which to make themselves prominent before the public.”

Now if I had written those lines, I would naturally be accused of bigotry because of the use of “colored people” and “Negro race,” but nobody would doubt that I was referring to the likes of Jesse Jackson, Sheila Jackson Lee, Al Sharpton and Maxine Waters. But the fact is, those prescient words were written by none other than Booker T. Washington, 101 years ago in his book, “My Larger Education.”

The reason why, in spite of a disastrous economy, national security leaks, a scandal-riddled Justice Department and a weakened military, that Obama is running neck-and-neck with Mitt Romney is because he has taken a page out of the FDR playbook. Back in the 1930s, Roosevelt declared war on business and raised taxes, thus seducing union members; he started federal work projects that called for painters and writers, thus luring artists to the dark side; he wooed blacks and poor whites by expanding welfare; and in doing so, he rolled out the red carpet for a great many Jews, who had earlier found a home in the socialist and communist parties.

In similar fashion, Obama is now counting on dividing Americans by race, class, gender and generation, in the hope it will get him re-elected. If it works, I’m afraid it will mean that he was right in 2009, when he insisted that America is no more exceptional than any other country.

One of those countries, in fact the first one he visited after being elected in 2008, was Egypt, that paragon of nations where an imam recently ruled that Egyptian husbands, who may have had to put up with a lot of “I have a headache” type excuses while their wives were alive and kicking, will soon have the right to have sex with their wives for up to six hours after they’ve died!

Just because I find a lot to like about Mitt Romney doesn’t mean that everyone else does. I mean, just because he’s good-looking, well-spoken, trustworthy, intelligent, doesn’t drink or smoke, has stood faithfully by his wife of 43 years through her bouts with cancer and MS, has helped to raise five decent sons, and has honestly earned and invested millions of dollars, I can see where people might prefer a community organizer with a lifetime of shady friends and associates who has kept his personal history concealed in a manner we all wish he had applied to national security documents.

I have to assume that those who parrot the nonsense about Romney being “stiff” are employing that word as a synonym for a man who is honest, patriotic and businesslike, which just happen to be three of the qualities I most prize when it comes to electing a commander-in-chief. If you’re looking for stiffs, I suggest you look no further than the millions of Americans who show up as “Undecided” in the polls because they pay no attention to political campaigns until Election Day rolls around, when at long last they make a decision by flipping a coin.

Finally, I’m wondering if I’m the only person who keeps picturing the following scene being played out on the second floor of the White House: Malia proudly brings her completed science project in to show her parents, and Michelle, after quickly hiding the cookies she’s been noshing on, predictably oohs and ahs in maternal appreciation.

However, when a beaming Malia turns to show it to her father, he frowns and angrily shakes his head. “I’m ashamed of you,” he says. “You know you didn’t build that!”

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website:
  • John

    Suffice it to say that, in the closing hypothetical example with Malia, were she to have displayed it in a public school, opinions would have been divided. Half the judges would have been falling all over themselves in a “slobbering love affair” (my apologies, Mr. Goldberg) with the project while the other half would properly have critiqued it on its scientific and “artistic” (if such a word can be applied here) merits of the project.

    Who knows? Stranger things have happened.

  • Tucci78

    Malia proudly brings her completed science project in to show her
    parents, and Michelle, after quickly hiding the cookies she’s been
    noshing on, predictably oohs and ahs in maternal appreciation.

    However, when a beaming Malia turns to show it to her father, he
    frowns and angrily shakes his head. “I’m ashamed of you,” he says. “You
    know you didn’t build that!”

    Well, if she follows in her sperm donor’s footsteps, the accusation will be true, won’t it?

    Regarding everything to which he’s applied his byline – emphasis on Dreams From My Father – it all looks to have been ghostwritten for him.

    Malia’s probably been getting her homework done by compliant members of her Secret Service detail. 

  • Bruce A.

    I can’t remember what commentator usewd the phrase “Poverty Pimps”  to classify the likes of  Al sharpton, Jesse Jackson & others who make a good living on others misery.

    • BurtPrelutsky

       I have no idea who that would be.  But there are a slew of pejoratives that would apply equally well to those two guys and the various rodents who make up the Congressional Black Caucus.


  • cmacrider

    Burt:  Re you FDR comment.   Although I do not dispute your analogy there is one difference.  FDR’s legacy was saved by a minor event namely the Second World War.  His Keynesian type policies did nothing more than prolong the Recession.  Since I don’t predict a Third World War between now and November, I think Obama’s legacy will be that he was the author of the decline of the Democratic Party.   The cracks are beginning to show.   (1)  Wall street donations to the Dems are down (2) the construction unions are not happy over the XL pipeline decision and some local union leaders are now openly stating their discontent with the Obama Dems (3) the coal miners are not happy over the Obama war on coal (4) the Jewish community cannot be comfortable with Obama’s ambivalence over Israel (5) the African American community must be less than enthused with Obama’s same sex marriage conversion (6) there seems to be more and more Lieberman type Dems who are defecting (7) it is now obvious that the Left wing nuts in the Democratic Party now hold the levers of power in that party (8) even activist Dems can’t really tell you what the Democratic Party stands for these days and if it does stand for anything it is not what the traditional Dems thought they stood for.   If Obama loses ….. there is going to be a bloodletting between the “progressives” and the traditional Democrats. That’s my theory and I sticking to it ….. but then I thought Toronto had a major league baseball team … and look how that’s turning out.

    • BurtPrelutsky

       cma: Perhaps World War III won’t break out, but it is possible that Israel will go after Iran’s nuclear reactor between now and November 6th, just as they went after Iraq’s nuclear reactor back in ’81.  I have no idea what effect that  would have on the election, although I’d like to think it would accrue to Romney’s benefit, seeing that he, unlike Obama and Hillary Clinton, is strongly allied with Bibi Netanyahu.


      • floridahank

        I don’t believe Israel will do anything before election day.   Netanyahu doesn’t like or trust Obama and I think  an early attack would benefit Obama so nothing will happen until (our new President) will discuss things with Netanyahu.   I know plans are already drawn up it’s just the timing that isn’t set.

  • DanB_Tiffin

    Wow.  That is a great old quote from Booker T. Washington, and as we all see, just as true today.

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Dan:  I suspect it’s even truer today.  After all, back in those days, you didn’t have the Congressional Black Caucus.


  • sjangers

    You certainly do seem to have a lot of fruits and nuts in California, Burt, but definitely no monopoly on the respective breeds.  In fact, here in little old Vermont I think we may have more fruits, nuts and flakes per capita than you do in California.  We just don’t have your fine weather, which means our produce isn’t on display quite as prominently as yours.  I envy you your weather and all the fine things it allows you to grow.

    It was probably a case of Cali envy, but I just finished a wonderful little home-grown dinner, perhaps much like those you all enjoy in your state.  A few slices of fresh, rosemary-infused (from the garden) French bread, topped with fresh tomatoes (also from the garden), chopped kalamata olives, and pesto; although sadly, the pignoli, olive oil and parmesan cheese didn’t originate from my garden. 

    Which, in a roundabout way, brings me to the point of this post.  I’d like to give a shout out to President Obama and thank him for enabling me to have such a wonderful, California-inspired meal.  It was delicious! 

    And of course, thanks to you, Burt, for keeping me entertained and thinking. 

    • BurtPrelutsky

       sj: Generally, I’m not a big fan of vegetables.  But my wife got me to growing tomatoes and cucumbers this year.  The cucumber crop has been puny, but I may soon have to open a sidewalk stand to deal with the huge crop of tomatoes.

      I will wait until January 2o, when he leaves the keys under the mat for Romney before I give Obama a shout-out.  In the meantime, I don’t want to do anything to encourage him.


      • sjangers

        I was never much into gardening either, Burt.  My father thought it a great hobby, and naturally believed that all his children should be ‘allowed’ to participate, so for years the mere sight of fresh fruit and vegetables had me PTSDing.  It became enough of a problem that I was banned from the produce section of several local supermarkets.

        But I eventually overcame my prejudices and learned to appreciate freshly-picked fruit and vegetables.  I’m not really huge on gardening- I’m more of a pot farmer (not in the way you’re thinking!)- but I set a few planters out on the deck each spring and take a certain amount of pleasure in producing my own herbs (again, not where your mind just went), fruit and vegetables.  And I do enjoy the simple pleasure of cooking with something fresh and perfectly ripe.

        So I’m glad that you’re enjoying your foray into gardening.  Like you, my cukes didn’t do too much this summer, although I only set out four plants.  And the tomatoes were prolific!  That seems to happen almost every year.  I put out six or eight plants in the spring, then add two or three more- just to be sure I have an adequate crop- and, come late July, I suddenly have enough tomatoes to set up my own skeet-shooting range in the back yard. I never anticipate it, but those little devils really breed! And I never know what to do with all of them.  I call the experience The Way of the Tomato.  Probably the only gardening experience that is more satisfying, frustrating, and overwhelming- all at the same time- is The Way of the Zucchini.

        Anyway, nice communicating with you.  I’ll take your advice about encouraging the President, although I fear his feelings might really be hurt if I don’t at least acknowledge that I didn’t build this internet that allows you and I to communicate.  Perhaps we should consider doing something nice for Al Gore.


        • BurtPrelutsky

          For my part, I have spent years suggesting an activity that Al Gore just might enjoy.  So far as I know, he hasn’t yet tried it, but perhaps he merely lacks the flexibility required.


          • floridahank

            I think Gore would make a great farmer — he knows alot about the positive use of  manure .

  • x_Liberal

    Burt, long time reader, first time commenter.  One of your best columns.  The Booker T. Washington quote was dead-on, your comparison between Romney and Obama says it all.  Frankly, if it wasn’t for the unthinking support of the traditional media the election would be a Romney/Ryan landslide.  As it is, I think election will, alas, be very close. 

    • BurtPrelutsky

       x_Liberal: I think the country is so polarized, the days of landslides is past.  No matter what, California, NY, Illinois, Washington, Oregon and New England, will vote for the guy with the (D) after his name even if he’s Donald Duck.


  • Cyberquill

    So Mitt Romney and Terence Bean have both honestly earned millions of dollars. 

    • Jeffreydan

        Darn right! Sure is intolerant of Obama to be so embarrassed by Bean’s line of work that he’s this quiet about it. 

      • GlenFS

        Cyber sees some connection in earning millions? .. oh wait, I got it.. business is just evil by its very nature, regardless of what it produces.  Yeah right, Cyber. 

        • BurtPrelutsky

           Sorry I arrived too late to read Cyber’s comment.


  • GlenFS

    Fine piece, Burt.  I especially enjoyed the paragraph detailing why you like Romney.  Nice contrast that! 

    And as to Obama’s remarks on American exceptionalism, he is doing his very best to assure that we’re just another country.  More well-deserved credit for Mr. Obama along with those you described in the same paragraph.

    • BurtPrelutsky

      Thanks, GlenFS.  Obama doesn’t want America to be just another country.  After all, there are all sorts of countries.  Some are powerful, some are rich, some are both.  As the movie, “2016,” makes clear, what Obama really wants is to turn us into Kenya so that we’ll know what it was like for his father to live under the thumb of a European colonizer.  But even that wouldn’t be enough for Obama; he would surely like to see us under a thumb, but it would have to be an African or Middle Eastern thumb.

      By the way, what does the FS stand for?


      • GlenFS

        Just my initials, Burt.  It’s Glen Franklin Stambaugh.  I’m going to have to find where 2016 is showing … that’s some pretty twisted philosophy if so.

        • BurtPrelutsky

           I can’t imagine why my comment was flagged for review.  It certainly wasn’t rude or obscene.