Author Archives: Burt Prelutsky

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.

“America Is Tied To The Train Tracks” and “Anti-Semites & Other Ignoramuses”

During the silent movie era, every villain eventually tied every heroine to the railroad tracks. Just in the nick of time, the hero would gallop up on horseback and free her just before the 4:20 out of Joplin came barreling through. Once in a while, it would be Rin Tin Tin who untied the knots…

Rinos Are Not The Enemy

Because it is once again election season, I am hearing from a great many people who sincerely believe RINO is the vilest of all four-letter words. The weird thing is that although I am about as conservative as a person can be, I wind up spending an inordinate amount of time defending them. I understand…

“It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad World” and “Sour Notes At The Met”

It just recently came to light that back in February, Joe Biden’s son, Hunter, was booted out of the Navy Reserve when he tested positive for cocaine. A great many people wrote, wondering how it was that the media didn’t cover the story. When I actually delved into it, I discovered that Biden’s daughter, Ashley,…

Invitation To A Tea Party

Recently, my wife told me to stop picking on the Tea Party. Frankly, I was taken aback that after six books and 1500 articles espousing my conservative beliefs, not to mention 29 years of marriage, I would be accused of attacking those with whom I tended to agree. But Yvonne’s words gave me pause and…

“Ice Buckets & Oracles” and “Christmas Might Come Early”

Let me confess that, aside from donating time or money, I rarely understand the odd things done on behalf of charities. For instance, even decades ago when I was an advertising copywriter, my fellow workers would often ask me to donate money based on how far they walked or ran on the weekend. I understood…

John Lennon, Che Guevara & Me

When the Beatles were at the height of their popularity, John Lennon said that they were more famous than Jesus. It infuriated a great many Christians, but I just thought it was simply the latest in a series of inane and egomaniacal statements he delighted in making. He was, after all, a liberal zealot, and…

Liberals: An Endless Source Of Amusement

Liberals, I hasten to add, are also an endless source of aggravation, terror and sheer nausea. But, really, if you can’t laugh at them, you not only lack a sense of humor, but even the most basic of coping skills required to survive the current administration. For instance, Joe Biden, who can nearly always be…

“The Attack Of The Cuckoos” and “Ebola & Other Epidemics”

How it is that so many cuckoos escaped from their clocks and have wound up in positions of authority, I will never know. But there’s no getting around the fact that the American symbol is no longer a bald eagle or even Ben Franklin’s preferred turkey, but has been replaced by the Swiss-made cuckoo bird….