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Can I Get a Wetness?

Here’s a fun little scenario for you: imagine you’re very thirsty, thirstier than any time you can recall. Now imagine you’re in some barren area where there’s not a drink in sight. (See? Fun!) Standing a few yards away is a 300-lb. bouncer, who looks like he could remove one of those big red spheres…

National Association for Artificial Colored People

This column is a few days late, and I’m giving physical incapacitation as the excuse. See, only moments ago I got over a wild, frenzied, continuous fit of laughter that began last week while reading up on my subject: Spokane, Washington NAACP chapter president Rachel Dolezal. This wasn’t a mere case of me LMAO; it…

The Vagina Dialogues

Thank goodness Carly Fiorina up and threw her hat into the ring earlier this month, so now we’ll able to wage the War on the War on Women better-equipped. Face it, Hillary ain’t goin’ away, and unless she develops some magic ability to un-disgrace all the offices she’s held, she’s going to fill the airwaves…

The Most Busted Man in America

Only a couple of months have gone by in this sparkling new 2015, and hopefully this breaking-in period has gone well for you. If things have been less than peachy, even pretty awful, there is a silver lining: at least you aren’t Brian Williams. (If it so happens you are Brian Williams, you should stop…

Stat’s Entertainment

“Welcome back to NBS’ coverage of the World Tackle Football playoffs, between the Nashville Nasturtiums and the Portland Pissants. I’m Buck Joseph, along with Randy Exjocque, live from I’m Not Remotely Surprised It’s Margarine Stadium, and what a surprising first half it was for Portland, Randy, leading Nashville 10-0 at halftime!” “Boy, you got that…