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A Wrong Person at the Right Place in the Left Town

The practice of Democracy in a largely-Hispanic California public school recently put the boss’s undies in a terrible ruffle. Young voters at San Francisco’s Everett Middle School apparently set America back a century or two by not electing any Latino or black children to the top four positions in last month’s student election. Principal Lee…

Our Loss is Qatar’s Pain

At the risk of jinxing it, the whole “Clock Boy” affair appears to have come to an end. Texas high school freshman Ahmed Mohamed, who cashed in his invite to the White House a couple of weeks ago, I confess has a great deal of my admiration. I mean, his little “invention” managed to impress none…

We Were Ready For Some Football

I may be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure it was only on one occasion that I had to write a “what I did on my summer vacation” essay for a teacher on the first day of school. I believe it was in the 6th grade, and what a lucky fluffy-headed little bastard I was to only…

Can I Get a Wetness?

Here’s a fun little scenario for you: imagine you’re very thirsty, thirstier than any time you can recall. Now imagine you’re in some barren area where there’s not a drink in sight. (See? Fun!) Standing a few yards away is a 300-lb. bouncer, who looks like he could remove one of those big red spheres…

National Association for Artificial Colored People

This column is a few days late, and I’m giving physical incapacitation as the excuse. See, only moments ago I got over a wild, frenzied, continuous fit of laughter that began last week while reading up on my subject: Spokane, Washington NAACP chapter president Rachel Dolezal. This wasn’t a mere case of me LMAO; it…