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No Roast for the Wicked

I distinctly remember the moment when I heard The Late Show’s David Letterman say, regarding then-presidential candidate Barack Obama, how he couldn’t think of anything about the guy he could make fun of. (I know, it’s not exactly the magnitude of Kennedy’s assassination, but I didn’t exist in 1963.) It was when I was just…

Sympathy From the ‘Devils

If you love fresh fruit, and someone dangles a ripe peach in front of your face, you really have no choice but to snatch up that puppy. It’s the same with metaphorical peaches, and it seems God has grabbed a bushel of those juicy little orbs and been waving them inside my snatching radius, boy…

Pleased to Meet You, Mr. Pidd. May I Call You ‘Stu’?

What makes a great surgeon? Using a pinch of logic, it should be an easy enough answer: his/her more serious operations (internal trauma, transplants, etc.) consistently result in a saved or extended life, while the less serious ones (bone spurs, breast augmentations, etc.) result in a pain-free or deliciously top-heavy patient. How about what makes…

Insanity With a Touch of Inanity

At some point you may have heard the classic definition of insanity as stated by Albert Einstein, S.D.G. (Smart Dead Guy), and for you haven’t-heards, it’s “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” I’ve loved it ever since I first heard it, but the longer I observe politicians, the…

Shell Game

What do you consider a depressing sight? You could ask a thousand people that question and maybe two or so ask-ees will give you a matching answer, depending on their location. To someone in Hollywood, for example, a depressing sight might be “my last picture’s gross” or “autograph-seekers with no fashion sense.” For the bulk…

On Bashes, Budgets, and Benzes

For the majority of people in America, the holiday season ended earlier this month. For a tiny minority of Americans, meaning 15 Southern Californians comprised of myself and 14 relatives, it would be just a wonderful, theoretical existence if that were really the case. (Before I go on, full disclosure for people familiar to me…

Mine’s Bigger than Yours

I predicted it a couple of weeks ago, and sure enough it happened: Democrats used the one-year anniversary of the Sandy Hook Massacre to have another go at gun control. I don’t mean to suggest I’ve said anything remotely groundbreaking here; to predict something this patently, ridiculously, supernaturally inevitable would be arguably the least impressive…

Not!

Like many other guys, I often find myself thinking about how/whether I’ll adapt as a dad to the many changes that come down the pike. I think this thinking usually takes place after I’ve been thinking about women, which would often be well before having thought some thoughts about tools, which typically occurs long after…