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Hello, Federal Government, How May I Harm You?

It might seem odd to you, but when Barack Obama started demanding another tax increase on wealthy people, only months after Republicans reluctantly agreed to one, my reaction to it was more relief than anything else. I’ve actually given you the reason already: Republicans agreed to a tax increase months earlier (God bless those eunuch…

So Many Targets, So Few Bullets

bullseye tramp stamp

Over the last few weeks I’ve developed a little appreciation for a cretin unnamed…I mean certain unnamed host of a sort-of televised talk show. I’m going to tread carefully on the name-providing here, as I’m not big on providing easy exposure for people whose current state of widespread not-exposed-ness is of great benefit to the public. Let’s…

Shameless Last Words


If there’s one positive thing that has come out of the horrific mass shooting in Connecticut, it is a renewed sense of togetherness in a more united American people. Yes, you can almost taste the togetherish unitedarity, as we stand tall to weather the malignant sociopaths of the world who dare cause us harm. Of…

Christmas Wishes


The best Christmas I ever experienced as a child was when I was about 6 years old, when the marquee gift was a small record player. The second I noticed it, all other goodies in the vicinity became presenta non grata, and I was all over that gizmo like Michael Moore on a meatball hero….

Time For a Little Swearing


So, anything interesting happen so far this month? Kidding. Now that Barack Obama has gotten himself another four years to show his appreciation for this country by fundamentally transforming it, I have terrible news for his most ardent fans. (Anyone remember how no president’s supporters/voters would be so sweet on him that the word “fan”…

What’s One More Annoyance?


In case you haven’t heard, Election Day is coming soon, and the tension and excitement are very real and omnipresent–you can cut ‘em with a knife, dunk ‘em in a vat of marinade, and burn ‘em on a skewer surrounded by peppers and mushrooms. The end of this election season can’t come soon enough for…

Liberology 101


More than a few conservatives are in full agreement with Winston Churchill’s “(i)f you’re not a liberal at age twenty you have no heart; if you’re not a conservative at age forty you have no brain” quote. Implied in that is something I’ll freely admit until my expiration date: I was liberal as a younger…

I Before Thee, Except After Me


Thirty-odd years ago, my classmates and I were knee-deep in our first lesson on creative writing, when I asked my teacher what the most difficult thing about writing was. Quoted here is his Twain-esque answer to the entire class: “The biggest challenge of creative writing depends on who’s sitting at the typewriter.” With that cute…