Bailing the Ship of State

Even though I write at least three articles a week, I find it impossible to stay abreast of the madcap antics of Barack Obama and his multitude of stooges. At times, I feel like Mickey Mouse portraying the Sorcerer’s Apprentice in Walt Disney’s “Fantasia,” frantically trying to deal with all those deranged brooms.

For instance, consider the fact that Obama has increased our national debt from roughly 10 trillion dollars to 16 trillion in just three years, and is now trying to convince us that he’s the biggest penny pincher since Dwight Eisenhower.

Sillier yet, he has chosen to run against Romney’s record at Bain Capital. According to objective sources, Bain’s success rate during Romney’s years was 78%. In other words, about four out of the five companies in which Bain invested became successful. What percentage of green energy companies in which Obama has invested our tax dollars have succeeded? Does “zero percent” ring any bells?

There are times when I actually find myself feeling sorry for Jay Carney. After all, when he accepted Obama’s offer to replace Robert Gibbs, I’m sure Mr. Carney had visions of fame and fortune awaiting him. What he failed to take into consideration was that day after day, he was going to have to march to the podium and try to put the best face on a very ugly administration. He was going to have to spend his professional life lying and spinning like a top.

At least over at Fox, Juan Williams gets to sit down while he’s spinning. Watching Williams trying to explain and excuse every miserable thing Obama does reminds me of the character, Spicer Lovejoy, in “Titanic.” In case you don’t recall, he was portrayed by David Warner, and he was Cal Hockley’s bodyguard.

Although Lovejoy was a villain, I couldn’t help thinking that nobody could ever have a more loyal and dedicated employee. Even after the ship hit the iceberg and was starting to keel over, Lovejoy was still earning his salary, even as his knees were getting soaked.

That’s the kind of dedication I see in Juan Williams. Even Lovejoy didn’t carry as much water as Williams does. No matter how dumb he sounds, no matter that Steve Hayes, Bret Baier and Charles Krauthammer, are all staring at him as if he’s begun speaking in tongues, nothing can dissuade Mr. Williams from defending his guy. Sometimes, I find myself wondering if Obama sits in the Oval Office, dreaming up nonsense just to see if Williams will back him up.

Although I delight in ridiculing the Left, I’m afraid there are times when I have to take conservatives out behind the woodshed. For instance, when did you all decide that it was necessary to pretend that your kids were all scholars whose huge brains would atrophy if you didn’t send them off to college, where nutty professors could shovel left-wing crapola into their craniums? And just how did you figure that their lives would be enriched by majoring in studies devoted to black, Hispanic, lesbian and Communist, propaganda?

Furthermore, the fact that your offspring are so susceptible to these lies proves that you haven’t bothered explaining to them what makes America exceptional. You wouldn’t fail to inoculate them against mumps and measles, but you cavalierly leave them free to catch the left-wing virus that floats around just about every schoolhouse in the nation.

Even in nursery school, members of the despicable teachers unions have them chanting “Barack Obama, mmm mmm mmm” and you’re just fine with it. Is it any wonder that later on, when they’re told that they should admire psychopaths like Che Guevara, Mao Tse-tung and Fidel Castro, while despising Washington, Jefferson and Adams, they swallow the bilge as historical fact?

In closing, I’d like to call attention to Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Nanny Bloomberg, who has declared sugar, salt, tobacco and trans-fats, verboten in New York City, is a scofflaw who has broken the law at least 16 times in the last six months, thanks to using a helicopter to transport his self-righteous butt to and from his mansion in the Hamptons.

As one of his constituents put it, “Bloomberg’s being a little hypocritical. If you’re so concerned about the quality of life of the citizens in this city — like don’t smoke a cigarette in Central Park — don’t land a 2,000-pound helicopter in front of my apartment with the choking exhaust and intolerable noise, especially when the heliport is supposed to be closed.”

It seems that the Manhattan heliport is only supposed to be open for business from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. on weekdays, and shut down entirely on weekends. Bloomberg defended himself by saying he was unaware of the curfew. If anyone believes that, he has a bridge over in Brooklyn that he’s willing to sell cheap.

On the other hand, at least Bloomberg felt compelled to present a defense, as cheesy as it was. When Ted Kennedy was still in the Senate and promoting wind power as a way to replace fossil fuels, a green energy outfit proposed erecting windmills in Nantucket Sound to take advantage of those Atlantic Ocean breezes. Once Kennedy realized those windmills would be visible from his home, the plans were scuttled.

Being a Kennedy, he didn’t even have to come up with a lame, Bloomberg-like excuse. Nobody would have disputed him if he’d pointed out that all by himself he could easily generate all the wind power Nantucket could possibly use.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Send your comments to

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • Ted Wight

    One of the activities by the Obama administration about which I began blogging ( years ago — and quit because I couldn’t keep up — has been investigating, subpoening, accusing, charging, and suing virtually every company in the Fortune 500 plus many, many lesser companies.  I dub them “Leash Laws” to get corporations to heel to the new anti-business administration.  It has worked.   This Obedience Training has yielded billions of dollars in these legal extortion “settlements” plus billions in additional lobbying and campaign contributions as well as statements and advertising to promote Obama’s lunacy. 

  • SouBelle

    Also, my sentiments exactly on everyone’s comments on FOX!! I’m beginning to wonder if they are trying to get BO re-elected!!!!!!!!!

    • GlenFS

      Thank God for FNC.  They may not belong to conservatives as the other media outlets belong to liberals, but that’s a good thing.  Just try and imagine the media without Fox in the mix.

  • SouBelle

    My granddaughter and her best friend who lives across the street were both on the A-B honor roll and get this; they are both now enrolled in summer school for reading because they failed the state test. Wonder what they read about the first day? CHINA panda bears!!!The teachers failed to tell them that they are communist and kill babies; especially if they are girls. Now they are educated about more than bears. More people need to wake up to the fact of how infected our schools really are!

  • BurtPrelutsky

    cmacrider: I would suggest that ridicule only seems mild when you’re not the recipient.


    • cmacrider

      good point Burt.  My comment was intended to reflect on the utterly incredulous Obama administration …. not on your commentary which I always enjoy.

  • cmacrider

    Burt:  I used to read your column on the basis that your mild hyperbole made a poignant point …. now as I watch the sheer lunacy in the Obama administration your  commentary seems to be a mild understatement of the situation 

  • BurtPrelutsky

    Ariel: True.  When it comes to ranking Democratic presidents, there’s a lot bad to be said for nearly all of them.  Although I regard Obama as the rankest, FDR, Carter and LBJ, are certainly in the running.


  • Ariel

    Just before Kennedy’s assassination in 1963 our total deficit was 306 Billions   and than Johnson came and turned the whole country into a welfare state with Food stamps, medicare,medicaid,etc,

  • BurtPrelutsky

    Lucy: Where did you wind up after Malibu?  That was a good sign, by the way.

    Helenor: I didn’t forget Beckel, but I don’t watch “The Five,” partly because he makes up 20% of it.

    Roxiebell: Nothing snapped  in Juan Williams’s brain.  Being fired by NPR was the best thing that ever happened to him.  He signed with Fox for $2 million and made a big book deal for a book nobody had any reason to buy.  He was a left-wing fool when he was with NPR and he is one with Fox, but better paid and with a bigger audience.  The biggest difference is in perception.  When he was with NPR, it was easy to overlook how stupid and boring he was.  Now that he sits surrounded by the likes of Charles Krauthammer, Bret Baier and Steve Hayes, he sticks out like a very dumb thumb.


  • Roxiebell

    Something has snapped in Juan Williams brain and he seems to be shell shocked after being kicked to the curb by NPR and instead of becoming more enlightened over time he seems to be falling further into the abyss of liberal lunacy and its almost like he has gone totally mad. Even though Fox News saved his behind maybe he is not happy there & is angling to get back into the good graces of the liberal media or he is just plain crazy.

  • Helenor

    Burt….you left (no pun intended) out Bob Beckel from “The Five.” While, yes, he is outnumbered, I love watching him squirm and try to, as O’Reilly puts it, justify bad behavior by pointing to OTHER bad behavior. Watching the left make excuses for their actions has started to become the highlight(s) of my viewing day.
    Please keep up the good work.

  • lbrown1006

    As long as we have the 60’s who survived are now teaching our children, brainwashing them to consider America as evil and our Constitution as obsolete.
    Mr Obama in 2007 even promoted to start the education of our children before the kindergarten age.  Even though I apolitical in 2007 I realized what he was aiming for.  I am emotionally involved in things political.  I call the White House every time Obama tells a lie in his campaign speeches, a lot of calls.  I send faxes to the Judicial Committee,  the Oversight Committee (Issa) and the Ethics Committee, keeps me very busy.  Mr Obama lies a lot, he lies about his family history, he changes history facts to accommodate  the audience he is mesmerizing. Remember Mrs. Obama’s
    speech during the last campaign, “Barrack says we have to change the way we speak, change our culture, change our history…..!

    I am 88 years old, lived in Malibu until the 1993 fire, I was an RN and PT with a History major from UCLA and I am fighting for America.  At my first political affiliation with the Tea Party in 2007 we were asked to make sign for the first
    demonstration.  My sign which no one understood IN 2007 was,  GREEN IS THE NEW RED.

    Thank you and I apologize for a little braggadocio.

    Lucy Brown

  • BurtPrelutsky

    Brhurdle: The problem for Fox is that there is no coherent way to put forward the argument for left-wing politics.

    Because I do enjoy Bernie Goldberg, Charles Krauthammer, Megyn Kelly and Brit Hume, I continue watching Bill O’Reilly.  But I only watch programs–even baseball games–that I record, so that I can fast-forward through commercials.  In O’Reilly’s case, I fast-forward through 30 or 40 minutes of every show.  My thumb springs into action as soon as I spot Juan Williams, Leslie Marshall, Alan Colmes, Geraldo Rivera and Marc Lamont Hill.


    • Nancye

      So do I.  Actually what I do is mute the sound.   And in addition to that list, I also mute the sound when that bleached-blonde-liberal twit, Kirsten Powers opens her mouth.

      • Roxiebell

        She is not as bad as the likes of BLECKal, William & Tamara Holder thats for sure but she can be a real twit.

    • Roxiebell

      Oh yeah, via DVR is the only way I can stomach EGO O’Reilly anymore and I also fastforward huge chunks of his show.

  • Brhurdle

    I’d like to express my agreement with the observation regarding Juan Williams. It’s painful to watch his recitation of tortured logic to justify the antics/incompetence of the Obama Administration. At some point, Fox must realize that having a mannequin or cardboard cutout to satisfy the requirements of “fair and balanced” is preferable to listening to irrational, disingenious explanations. Where in the world does Fox find the continuing parade of “political consultants” that enumerate the Democrat talking points? I have become very disenchanted with their format and find that I can no longer watch Bill O’Reilly – it’s a series of speeches with no discussion or analysis.

    • Roxiebell

      I think the parade of liberal loons that Fox News provides us with is actually the most “moderate” of the leftist crazies, if you can believe that. At times I’m not sure I believe it.

  • BurtPrelutsky

    Nancye: I’d like to know the names of anyone who begs his or her friends and relatives to pass on the birthday and wedding gifts and, instead, send the money directly to Team Obama because they are just asking to be publicly ridiculed.  In the case of participants in same-sex marriages, who are the ones most likely to follow David Axelrod’s marching orders, they are already ridiculous, so they have nothing to lose.


  • GlenFS

    A couple Facebook friends have posted materials supporting Obama’s spendthrift claims.  I think they must live in a hollow log with the little animals to be that clueless an gullible.  It’s plain they know better, but their almost as desperate as he is.  Kind of sad and pathetic.

  • Nancye

    And…in addition to what you wrote, now this from Obama and his minions:

    “Obama Asks People Getting Married To Forgo Gifts, Ask Their Guests To Donate To His Campaign”  

    And to also forgo their birthday presents, etc.   How does he have the audacity to suggest a thing like that?  Has he no manners?  Is he THAT desperate?  Campaign not going so well President Marxist-in-Chief? How low can you get Obama? 

  • Bruce A.

    I find Jay Carney to be amazing.  How anybody can go out in front of the world day after day & shovel out the kind of things generated by The White House  is beyond me. As far as I am concernned his hot air is a major contributor to global warming.

    • Nancye

      Jay’s beginning to look like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar, and he doesn’t know how to lie out of it.  He’s started to have a blank look on his face now.  Oh wait – he always had that look!!!  So would I if I had to lie for my boss.