Believe It Or Else

by BurtPrelutsky

Years ago, a globe-trotter named Robert Ripley made a handsome living with a comic strip and a series of popular movie shorts called “Believe It or Not.” It was Ripley’s brainstorm that Americans would be fascinated by such oddities as people who grew their fingernails three-feet long, subsisted on a diet of bugs or constructed their homes out of ox dung. If nothing else, Ripley let us know that our relatives weren’t really the daffiest folks on earth.

These days, political correctness generally prevents us from shining a spotlight on the weird customs and disgusting habits of the various freaks who share the planet with us. To get around those inhibitions, let us consider this an homage to the late Mr. Ripley.

So, while the U.N., NATO and Barack Obama, come down with a case of the vapors every time Arab or Muslim dictators fire on their revolting subjects, be it in Egypt, Libya, Algeria, Yemen or Syria, none of them are the least bit concerned when the Palestinian terrorists launch missiles on the civilian population of Israel.

Here in the United States, Barack Obama makes a big show of washing his hands of his longtime friend and religious mentor, Jeremiah Wright, but then, a scant two years later, attends Easter services in a church whose pastor, Wallace Charles Smith, is a disciple of that very same Rev. Wright.

Then, lest anyone thinks that he ever really means what he says, Obama, after denouncing the violent and misogynistic lyrics that comprise the musical genre known as Rap, invites Common, whose puerile lyrics have called for the killing of George Bush and police officers, to the White House for an evening devoted to great American poets. I swear, if Barack and Michelle didn’t have lousy taste, they wouldn’t have any taste at all.

Rounding things off, Obama has half a wall erected at our southern border and celebrates the occasion by announcing the wall is complete. Even the Wizard of Oz didn’t have that much gall, and he was only trying to pull the wool over the eyes of a tin man, a scarecrow, a young girl, a small dog and a cowardly lion.

Then, for good measure, the liar-in-chief claimed responsibility for the declining number of illegal aliens. Now if he had prefaced that claim by pointing out that it’s been his destruction of the U.S. economy and his maintaining the unemployment rate at 9% that’s caused the decline, even I would grant that he’s entitled to take a bow.

Finally, in the spirit of Robert Ripley, I would call to your attention a very peculiar practice on “The View.” With the exception of Whoopi Goldberg, who very wisely wears trousers, all the women, including 81-year-old Barbara Walters, insist on wearing very short, skimpy dresses. It sort of makes you wonder what the show’s title is actually referring to.

©2011 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write Burt!
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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • J.L. Tharp

    Yea, I’d say Obama the great communicator has many if not all the Wizard like skills and character traits of another well known National Socialist Party leader that now lives in Infamy. My uncle J.L. was one of many real Americans that helped bring his miserable career to its proper end. Also I believe that a real women knows where and to whom her physical charms should be made visible to and a real woman also knows that the real way to honor man, woman, and God is to above all else display integrity and descretion that men seem often unwilling to cherish.

    I, with great shame apoligize to Benjamin Netanyahu and the Nation of Israel for Barack Obama. Please forgive the rest of us if you still can. I love Israel and its people.

  • JDO

    It’s the one thing I praise Whoopi Goldberg for. Thank you, Whoopi. Seriously.

    The Great and All-Powerful Wizard of Oz actually was trying to pull the wool over the eyes of ALL of the people of Oz (he had succeeded until the girl with pigtails showed up … and her little dog, too). And he definitely had a “Green” agenda in place. You can remember what “going Green” did for Nancy Pelo, er, the Wicked Witch of the West. Oh what a world, what a world …