Category Archives: Humor

The Column of All Mothers

Let’s just clear something up right now, in case the title didn’t do the trick: the national holiday dedicated to our mothers (Labor Day, unless I’m mistaken) is the topic of this column. Now that we’ve gotten that little inanity out of the way, on to the main inanity. Beyond all the clichés you find…

Global Warming May Lead to Sex — for Money

You heard the old joke about how the New York Times would headline a story about a giant asteroid heading toward earth with a deadly force that would cause massive worldwide devastation? Killer Asteroid Heading Toward Earth Women and Minorities at Risk Or how about this one: Global Warming May Turn Women into Hookers Hang…

Hey, World, I’m Straight

I went out on the street this morning, and to the first stranger  I met I said, “I’m straight.” He looked me up and down, evidently taking note of my slouching posture, and said: “You don’t look straight to me. Try lifting your chin, pulling in your stomach and thrusting your pelvis forward.” “No,” I…

Shot Down

We just got treated to what I’d argue is the best editing job in the history of recorded speech. If you want to see it yourself, the bad news is you’ll have to watch a guy acting like a colossal jerk in the process. Yes, you’ll have to watch Barack Obama act like himself, after…

Boston Marathon Bombing a Bush-Cheney Conspiracy?

george-bush

The father of the Tsarnaev brothers was interviewed in Russia, and an aunt was interviewed in Canada. Both claimed that the boys were framed, that this whole thing was a setup. They may not know it, but they have set the table for America’s vast horde of conspiracy theorists. I imagine that these wackos are…

Obama Compliments a Woman; Feminists Offended

Perhaps you’ve heard about the incredibly insensitive remark President Obama made the other day – the one that not only showed how indecent men can be, including even a progressive man like the president, but how words can be used as weapons to inflict great pain. I’m referring to the ugly comment the president made…

Hello, Federal Government, How May I Harm You?

It might seem odd to you, but when Barack Obama started demanding another tax increase on wealthy people, only months after Republicans reluctantly agreed to one, my reaction to it was more relief than anything else. I’ve actually given you the reason already: Republicans agreed to a tax increase months earlier (God bless those eunuch…

Obama Prepares for a Speech

THE PRESIDENT’S SECRETARY ENTERS THE OVAL OFFICE SECRETARY: Sir, the chief demographer of the United States is here. PRESIDENT: Show him in. DEMOGRAPHER: Mr. President, I… PRESIDENT: Be quick about it. I still have to finish writing my speech  for tonight, ordering all registered Republicans to wear yellow armbands. DEMOGRAPHER: That’s exactly why I am…