Children Born Out of Wedlock: Unexpected Consequences

I’ve written before about the results and consequences facing children who are born out of wedlock.  The whole “I don’t need to be married in order to have a child” lifestyle, encouraged by the example of numerous celebrities who the media glorify, will continue to have an enormous negative impact on society.  Legitimate studies already show that women who have children outside of marriage are less educated, are less likely to achieve monetary security and more likely to live in poverty.  Their children are destined for a similar fate.  These statistics, of course, don’t apply to celebrities who’ve chosen to live this way and, of course, have the means to support themselves and their children.

This unmarried with children lifestyle also contributes to the never-ending devaluation of men in our society.  I’ve also written numerous times that men, on television today, are depicted as superfluous, low achieving buffoons who simply take up space in the household.  Because this characterization is so prevalent in sitcoms and is a reflection of society, I’m guessing this depiction of men is supposed to be humorous, but I find it incredibly sad and demeaning, having been raised during a time when television showed men to be strong, smart supporters, both emotionally and financially, of their families.  Those days are long gone and now men are seen to be mere incidental inseminators.

Sadly, available statistics show that more and more children are being born out of wedlock and the problems, for society, will continue to grow and in ways many of us may not have foreseen.

While I’ve been aware of the obvious consequences, i.e., the inevitable life of poverty and no education for these women and children, I hadn’t realized an unexpected consequence that will befall these families.  Last month, I read an article in the WSJ entitled, “Seeking Clues to Heart Risk in a Patient’s Family Tree.”

Doctors are now focusing on the value of knowing a patient’s family history of cardiovascular illness in order to provide preventive care for their patients.  Scorecards for cardiac risk consider things like whether a patient’s mother or father had a heart attack and at what age.

When I think of my 20+ year experience in the foster care system dealing with abused and neglected children, the whole idea of parentage is pretty much a black hole.  I regularly saw unwed mothers come into court for their first hearing who could not provide the court with any information about the identity of the father.

I routinely heard a woman run down a litany of possible contenders for fatherhood, many of whom would have nothing more than a first name.  Forget having information about the man’s last name, his birth date, his Social Security number, his address or any members of his family.  I’ve seen cases where three or four men actually showed up in court and, after hundreds of taxpayer dollars had been spent to conduct HLA/DNA testing, none of these guys had won the brass ring.

I’m still amazed each January 1st when I take a look at my new calendar and still see Father’s Day listed on the third Sunday of June.  It’s just a matter of time before that day is no longer celebrated.

So, because of the sexual revolution, the indoctrination of women with the belief that men are unnecessary, the glorification of motherhood without marriage, and the inevitable financial burdens put on society by this lifestyle as well as numerous other consequences, we will now have generations of people who have absolutely no idea of their ancestry and lineage and will be unable to assist their doctors in establishing risk factors throughout their lives.

I don’t get it, but if you do, God bless you.

Author Bio:

For over twenty years, Leona has tried to heed her husband’s advice, “you don’t have to say everything you think.” She’s failed miserably. Licensed to practice law in California and Washington, she works exclusively in the area of child abuse and neglect. She considers herself a news junkie and writes about people and events on her website, “I Don’t Get It,” which she describes as the “musings of an almost 60-year old conservative woman on political, social and cultural life in America.” It’s not her intention to offend anyone who “gets it.” She just doesn’t. Originally from Brooklyn, and later Los Angeles, she now lives with her husband, Michael, on a beautiful island in the Pacific Northwest, which she describes as a bastion of liberalism.
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  • Isaac Romanowski

    And my dad is a taxi driver and a college student at 38 but he provides for me and I have a stable home life and because my parents aren’t married doesn’t mean I’m any lesser than normal kids and for the studies that say illegitimAtee kids are dumb and weak they are oh so wrong. My iq is 125

  • Isaac Romanowski

    I think that you are just wrong about this. I am a child born out of wedlock and my mother is a barber who meets all my needs. I go to a good high school where everyone in 6th year are getting college degrees and my mum may not be smart but she has brought me up

  • Kellyjessica_l

    I have a child out of wedlock. I have been in relationship with the father for 10 years. We are both college educated and employed. Every need our child has is met by us, not by the government. We remain unmarried by my choice. For tax purposes, we do better “single”. Also,as someone who works with lower income families, I can tell you the problem is not lack of marriages. The problem is people who reproduce without having to be responsible for meeting the needs of the child because the state will do it for you. When we live in a society where half of all marriages end in divorce, it is laughable that people assume marriage will solve all of our problems. Then again, I’m just some ignorant woman who had a child out of wedlock, what could I possibly know?

    • GuessWho

      Don’t care – we’ve educated ourselves into imbecility, you’re proof. Just because you have degree – does not make you smart, and thanks for milking the system for tax purposes – monetary gain is more important than you child? You picked a lOSER to breed with – real men marry – not shack up or use women – BRAVO – mexicans have token weddings down south, then head north to milk as much welfare, food stamps – your lifestyle is disgusting, and you know it, your friends know it – let’s see where you are when you’re infirm and old – milking the Federal govt. NO DOUBT.

      • MadWriter

        That escalated quickly. Perhaps you didn’t notice, but your verbal behavior suggests a projection of anger – which is why you accuse her boyfriend of being a loser and not a ‘real man’. If your words are relevant in any way it is to show that you merely wish to use the person you are unfairly hammering by cupping your hands to your mouth, as it were, and proclaiming that your view is better, without first conversing and discovering the truth of the matter and pointing like the gesticulation is in some way pertinent. Degrees do not, indeed, make you smart, but your tantrum on the matter isn’t exactly a model for genius.

  • Johni

    As a foster parent  going on eight years, I can tell you that what was written here is unfortunately too often true. Many of these women are meth mothers, with four to five kids, and even after their kids are removed most of the time, permanently, continue to deliver more kids. My solution is to pay them  ten thousand dollars if they get sterilized, and I bet we would be able to slow down the delivery rate. Some would say that is harsh, I say, become a foster parent, then get back to me.

  • wally

    The way to discourage these children without fathers is to reduce the amount given to the mother. After a while they hopefully will get the picture.

  • Ron F

    I agree there is are problems with unwed mothers but I am not sure any of us are smart enough to know what the cause is.  I have never met anyone who had a child out of wedlock because celebrities do.  Are most celebrity unwed mothers giving birth or adopting the children?  If they are adopting the children, is that a possitive message to be giving?  When I look at the graph, I think the increase in unwed mothers began a long time before we started hearing of clebrity unwed mothers.  The closest correlation I have seen to the increase in children being born out of wedlock is the increase in welfare.  The state will now support the mother and children.

  • nafadda

    yep  keep on having more and more babies to mothers that just don’t care and see how far that gets us and how great these kids grow up and live..that’s if they live at all with the neglect and abuse…some just get killed AFTER they are born because the ‘novelty’ of them wears off…or they just become an inconvenience  to the ‘mother’ or moms new boyfriend..after all ANYONE can be a mother or takes a bit of work to be a parent.

    robin in fl

  • Roger Ward

    It’s sad when a mother doesn’t have any idea of who the father of her child is (just watch the Maury show,)

    • momo

      It’s sad when a child is born in such a situation, period. Not just because the mother may not know who the father is or that the father and potential fathers are not aware of what they have done (apparently had sex without proper contraception), but that the child is left unaware of their true heritage.