Deciphering the Left

After you’ve read this article, Burt hopes you’ll enjoy his special topical bonus article Romney Won It on Points.

I happen to be one of those rare individuals who, unlike Freud, understand both what women want as well as the infield fly rule. But, like most normal human beings, even I have a hard time figuring out what goes on in the echo chambers that pass for minds in liberal circles.

For instance, Democrats recently conducted a poll to determine who were the worst Republican members of Congress. The finalists were Michele Bachmann, Allan West and Paul Ryan. When you pause to consider that the likes of Maxine Waters, Henry Waxman, Charley Rangel, Nancy Pelosi and Sheila Jackson Lee, all sit on the other side of the House aisle, even a child of six could easily see that our “worst” are far better than their best.

That same child would understand that if Obama were to get away with raising taxes on capital gains, he would not only discourage people from investing in the Stock Market, thus preventing companies from using the infusion of capital in order to expand and hire new workers, but would diminish the actual amount of tax revenue going to the government.

Of course Obama, who knows less about economics than most six year old children, would merely roll out his tired old Marxist rhetoric, condemning people like Mitt Romney, who live off their investment income and thus pay their taxes at a rate of 14%, ignoring the fact that such people have already paid income taxes at the going rate on the money they earned before investing it. And when these people die, the feds get another bite of that wormy apple in the form of death taxes.

The real scandal isn’t that wealthy individuals don’t pay enough in taxes, but that, one, they’re taxed multiple times on the same money; and, two, that the feds then piss it away on things like Solyndra, the UAW and free phones for welfare recipients, while simultaneously gutting MediCare and the U.S. military.

To be fair, to the extent that the economy isn’t even worse than it is, the credit goes to none other than Barack Obama. Before you start throwing tomatoes in my direction, hear me out. If ObamaCare hadn’t been so universally despised, all those Republican governors wouldn’t have been elected in 2010. In which case, they wouldn’t have been able to lower taxes and bring down the state deficits and, therefore the unemployment rolls, in places such as Ohio, New Jersey, Virginia and Florida. Were it not for guys like Kasich, Christie, McDonnell and Scott, Obama would be running for re-election saddled with an unemployment rate closer to 10.2 than to 8.2.

Still, you would have to think that a president who was convinced that if he paid lip service to Arabs and Muslims, they would see him as the second coming of Muhammad, instead of as the weak-willed, limp-wristed, left-wing incompetent we all know him to be, would be running for his life in this election, instead of running neck-and-neck.

In a sane world, Bernie Madoff, let alone Mitt Romney, would defeat Obama. Madoff, after all, merely conned a few thousand people, costing them merely several million dollars. Chump change, so long as you weren’t one of his willing suckers. Obama, on the other hand, conned tens of millions of innocent Americans, to the tune of six trillion dollars!

Even after the Muslims showed their appreciation for Obama’s cowardliness by burning down our consulates, torching our flag and sodomizing and murdering our ambassador, His Fatuousness flounced off to the United Nations to announce, “The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam.”

I can’t speak for everyone else, unfortunately, but I, for one, find it reprehensible that the putz in the Oval Office voices outrage over some stupid video that ridicules Muhammad, but rarely seems to notice when Muslims threaten six million Jews with extinction, burn Bibles and churches, and crucify Christians.

God forbid that anyone, least of all the leader of the free world, speak honestly about or to the barbarians who are constitutionally unable to abide those of us who don’t prostate ourselves to Mecca, who treat women as human beings, who promote liberty and free speech, and who don’t refer to the sixth century as the “good old days.”

Recently, Obama, in referring to Romney’s foreign policy position vis a vis Iran, said, “If he wants a war, let him say so.”

Well, if war is out of the question when it comes to preventing Ahmadinejad and the blood-thirsty imams from developing a nuclear capability, let Obama say so. For years, while Iran has gone its merry way, ignoring threats of boycotts and blockades, he has insisted that everything is on the table. But then the bozo-in-chief also said that when it comes to energy, he was in favor of all of the above, except, as it turns out, coal, oil and nuclear power.

Thus one can only surmise that when Obama says that he will do everything in his power to prevent Iran from nuking Tel Aviv and holding the entire Middle East hostage, he’s referring to an all-out campaign that would include everything up to and including flowers, candy, candlelight dinners, sweet talk and a little slow dancing.
©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write
Now that you’ve read this article, Burt hopes you’ll enjoy his special topical bonus article Romney Won It on Points.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website:
  • souvoter

    Obozo needs to be impeached for dereliction of duty in the Libya tragedy; not re-elected!!!!!

  • sjangers

    With due respect, Burt, how exactly does a person “prostate” himself to Mecca?  And before you get too involved in your explanation, please keep in mind that I have a sensitive stomach.

    • GlenFS

      SJ, as I commented below, it would be a very fitting tribute for Obama to leave his prostate at the holy site and Burt deserves credit for suggesting it. 😉

      • sjangers

        Sorry about that, Glen.  I took a quick glance at comments to see if anyone else had caught the reference.  I guess I didn’t look close enough.

  • bobemakk

    Bernie, I know you have a Jewish background, and I have said this many times.  Tell the Jewish people of the US they must get out and stop voting for democrats.  Obama has thrown Israel under the bus numerous times and he must not be re-elected. 

    Isn’t there anything you personally can do to tell the Jewish people of America to support Romney….maybe slam the networks with your support with videos.  We need the Jewish people to support Romney.

    • BurtPrelutsky

      Bob: Bernie Goldberg did not write this article, I did.  But to answer your question, no, there is nothing that either Bernie or I can do to get Jews to vote sensibly.  The problem is that, for the majority, Judaism is not their religion of choice, Marxism is.

      As for why that is, I urge you to read my book, “Liberals: America’s Termites.”  Particularly the chapter titled “Why Do 80% of Jews Vote Like 90% of Blacks.”

      Regards, Burt Prelutsky

  • brendan horn

    It is starting to look like the the only person Obama is really going after in regard to Benghazi is the guy who made the video as he has already been arrested and no one who orchestrated the attack has even been named. The shocking way that ambassador Stevens body was violated, before he was even dead, shows how pathetic most of the modern media is. Remember how many news stories we saw about American soldiers urinating on a dead body, the body of a person who was trying to kill our American soldiers. I had not even seen anything about the violence committed against Stevens until your story. The media do not want to inflame anger against Muslim terrorists, but for some reason they do not even think twice about inflaming anger against our American soldiers. The liberal media were so outraged against urinating on a dead body but could not muster up the same outrage against the incredible torture of a living innocent human being. They do not want to inform us Americans about the true evil nature of what we are facing in Islamic terrorism. They try to cover it up. They should be ashamed of themselves but they are incapable of shame, it seems. 

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Brendan:  Fortunately, more and more people are waking up to the craven and traitorous nature of the mass media.

      Newsweek is going out of business and that’s only the beginning.


  • Dave O’Connor

    “The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam.”
    Nor should it be a privileged license for those whose history is still being written in the blood of those the prophet of Islams followers consider inferior.But don’t tell feminists, gays, family planning consultants the of abortion lobby, religious rights advocates in Sharia-governed lands.

    • BurtPrelutsky

      Dave: Unless I am more mistaken than I’ve been about anything in the recent past, Obama will be licking his wounds on Nov. 7th.  Then Obama can feel free to join any mosque of his choosing.


      • Dave O’Connor

        I doubt he possesses the integrity to adher to any faith not evidenced in his mirror.
        One might say, he’s a self-made man in love with his creator.

        BUT, WAIT! Remember, he couldn’t have ‘made’ that.

  • GlenFS

    Burt,  It is ironic that to the extent Obama has anything economic to boast, it’s courtesy of those Republican governors.  The results are nothing to brag about nationally, but this doesn’t stop him from trying.

    Having just undergone a prostate procedure myself, I think it would be a noble gesture indeed for Obama to sacrifice his at Mecca.  He’s already sacrificed our national pride.

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Glen: After January 20th, His Fatuousness will have plenty of time to visit his holy land.

      Forget his prostate.  He could donate his brain.  It’s still wrapped in plastic and it’s never been used.


  • Tsav672000

    I am going to start posting all your articles on FB Burt. I have a nice cabal of conservative friends, many of them very active in the tea party. They will enjoy reading you very much.
    I actually found you by reading Bernie’s website a couple of years ago, and look forward to several good laughs a week and more than a few agreeing head nods. I get a kick out of you being politically incorrect and saying things most of us can’t say in our daily lives lest we be branded with all the usual conservative stereotypes the left uses to silence us.
    I am willing to speak my mind quite often, but with work, and sensitive employees always ready to sue or complain to HR  you just have to watch what you say at times. FB is my main release, you should see our threads during the debates lol.
    One of my friends was a Texas delegate to the republican convention. Watch for her, I expect her to be a Texas congresswoman one of these days, and just might make the list with Michelle Bachmann.
    Have a great day Burt, keep up the good work.

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Tsav: Thank you for the kind words and for your willingness to share my articles.  Be sure and tell your friends that my book, “Barack Obama, You’re Fired! (And Don’t Bother Asking for a Recommendation)” is available, and my next, an interview book titled “67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die,” which includes Rep. Bachmann, along with Paul Ryan, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum and Rick Perry, will be available in a month or so.


      • Larry B

        Burt, thanks for referring to “Obscene” Waters; she deserves many more mentions of that type, although she’s practically a non-person in the pages of the local rag.