The Dumbing & Numbing of America

Colorado recently beat out Washington to become the first state in the union to legalize marijuana. Although I have long railed against the so-called War on Drugs because it was a waste of time and resources, I can’t help thinking that legalizing pot is not going to improve the world.

For one thing, aside from cleaning up crash sites and re-directing traffic, just exactly how are cops supposed to deal with stoned drivers? At least with booze, they can measure intoxication levels with breathalyzers.

Safety on the roads will certainly suffer, but I contend that Colorado life in general will be an inevitable casualty. On the day that the law went into effect, thousands of people were waiting in line – some for as long as five hours – to buy their buds. Those people were standing outside in Denver in January, something I’m willing to wager they would not do in order to donate blood to the Red Cross or sign up to get a job. Denver’s nickname as the “Mile High City” no longer merely refers to its altitude.

One of the interesting side notes is that whereas those who promoted the legalization of pot said it would dry up the illegal trade, because of state taxes adding 20-30% to the cost, drug dealers are still cleaning up on the black market because they can undersell the competition.

Having just recently celebrated my 74th birthday, I’d like to say that at least in one regard old age doesn’t deserve its bad rap. Granted, it was never my intention to replace playing tennis with visiting doctors as my hobby of choice. Still, look around at the people you know who are in their 20s, 30s and 40s, the majority of whom proved they were congenital idiots by re-electing Obama in 2012. I can assure you that when they’re still as dumb as doorknobs at 70 and 80, it will be their age that gets blamed.

Speaking of idiots, until I heard radio talk show host Michael Medved mention it, I had not been aware that women are responsible for casting 54% of all the votes in our elections. It’s not because there are more women than men, where the difference is a scant 50.9% to 49.1%. Instead, it’s because men, who tend to be more conservative than women, stay home because they are either too lazy to vote even by absentee ballot or prefer to expose their ignorance by parroting the line about there being no difference between the parties; this in spite of the fact that when it came to ObamaCare, one party voted 100% for it and the other party voted 100% against it.

Speaking of which, a friend sent me an email titled “ObamaCare 101” that explained the 2,000 page bill in terms even a liberal should be able to follow. It read “To insure the uninsured, we must first make the insured uninsured – and then make them pay more to be insured again so the original uninsured can be insured for free.”

In sporting news, you may have missed the fact that the Dutch soccer team known as Vitesse went to play a match in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) without their star defender Dan Mori for no other reason than that he’s an Israeli. Dutch politician Geert Wilders, who has often found himself in hot water for speaking honestly about the followers of Islam, slammed the team for knuckling under to the anti-Semites. It certainly serves as fair warning for the 2022 World Cup, which will be held for no good reason in Qatar.

In a news release from Hell, Adolf Hitler was quoted as saying, “Damn, I knew I should have stuck to my guns in 1936 and not let that damn schwarzer, Jesse Owens, show me up at the Olympic Games.”

When you list all the things wrong with America today, including widespread drug use; abortions on demand; enormous numbers of illegitimate births; same-sex marriages and a general acceptance of sodomy; crooked politicians; corrupt unions; left-wing teachers who are convinced their calling isn’t to teach, but to indoctrinate; a military less concerned with winning wars than with establishing their politically correct credentials; a generation of Americans who have come to accept the hogwash about all cultures being great, except our own, and all religions being worthy of respect, aside from Christianity and Judaism; and an electorate that decided that the only thing better than four years of Obama was eight years of Obama; you can easily understand why so many people regard ours as a nation in decline.

In the meantime, John Kerry is the latest schmuck wasting his time trying to broker a two state solution between Jews living in the 21st century and Muslims wallowing like pigs in the 8th.

It would be better for all concerned if Kerry devoted his efforts to establishing a two state solution here in the U.S., with one state dedicated to promoting an ever-expanding federal government, financed by higher taxes in order to support those who have no marketable skills and no real desire to find a job, and where the three branches of government would consist of Barack Obama, Harry Reid and the EPA.

The other state would be populated by the certifiably sane.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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    __Observe, that when we chose a pin for our bank account, we have four choices from zero through nine which means that there are ten thousand possible outcomes of combinations in pin choices. The likelihood that someone can randomly pick out your pin is one in ten thousand. This is represented by ten to the fourth power. As I illustrated before in choosing to ride one’s bet on black or red for eight consecutive spins of the roulette wheel at a casino and it landing on that one color eight consecutive times would be one in two hundred fifty six. In other words, there are two hundred fifty six possible outcomes where only one outcome is that all spins of the wheel land exclusively on one color; black or red.
    ___The aforementioned examples I have illustrated have a limited number of possibilities and yet show the magnitude of possible outcomes and the improbability of the one choice or outcome. This is the myopia that compels people to addict themselves to lottery when the real chances for them to win is one in the hundreds of millions and billions.
    ___The magnitude of variations in the probability that all of these agencies of government visited this 501(c)(4) applicant randomly without an agenda, after never visiting and sanctioning this applicant before she applied for said tax exempt status, is virtually impossible.

    ***Call your Congressional Delegation at (202)-224-3121. Stop the debate on the obvious!!

  • Bob Olden

    I love the title of Krauthammer’s book, “Things That Matter”. One of the blessings of being advanced in age is that you have a lot better perspective on this. In fact, it’s probably true that some of the most important things that a person says are those comments about life as things are drawing to a close. Not that Burt doesn’t have a good number of years left, but I hope he keeps on gifting us with his thoughts.

  • Brian Fr Langley

    Dumbing, numbing and debauching. Apparently some superbowl fans were buying American children (some as young as 13) from pimps (caught in an FBI sting) for sexual gratification. Some of these kids had been reported missing. (maybe even on a milk carton) Jail is not good enough for these pimps. They should be executed. It says something about a society in which this can go on.

  • Skip in VA

    Bert: This is one of your best! I’m also 74 yrs. old and because of this administration and the idiots behind it, I feel like I’m falling thru the hole in the outhouse. I especially like the description of Obamacare, excuse me, Ms. Pelosi says it’s the Affordable Care Act now. One of the advantages of getting old is that I can say anything I want, but nobody gives a damn anyway.
    Keep up the good work; and please don’t call me an Old Fart until I’m at least 75!

  • Porkbevr

    Great article, Burt, in particular the 5th paragraph (about our loveable congenital idiots) at which I laughed out loud. I have a son-in-law who matches your description and he’s tilting my daughters politics to the left, to the chagrin of my wife and I.