Gang Warfare

Ever since I first heard about the Gang of Eight, I knew that, as with the Arab Spring, nothing good would come of it. It didn’t take Nostradamus to make such an obvious prediction.

For one thing, the group was supposed to be bi-partisan, consisting of four Democrats and four Republicans. But one of the latter was John McCain, a lunkhead who’s never met an amnesty bill he didn’t like.

The real problem is that nothing good ever comes of these bi-partisan alliances. Either they wind up divided along party lines like the guys who gave us Sequester, the political equivalent of a hung jury; or they end up, as in this case, with seven senators (McCain, Flake, Graham, Durbin, Bennett, Menendez, Schumer) beating up on Marco Rubio because he had the good sense to back Sen. John Conyers’ amendment calling for a secure border as a precondition to the bill’s passage.

Every so often, in her chosen role as the dominatrix of the GOP, Ann Coulter delivers a well-deserved spanking to the hindquarters of Republican sissies.

In a recent article, Ms. Coulter pointed out the absurdity of Republicans turning themselves inside out in their childish quest for Hispanic votes. She started out by reminding us that their vote total has been greatly exaggerated. In the last presidential election, for instance, 98 million whites cast votes, 18 million blacks and only 11 million Hispanics, representing a bit over eight percent of the total.

It’s not an insignificant number, especially in a close election, but devoting great amounts of time and money to pursuing it makes about as much sense as trying to separate blacks from the Democratic Party. Consider the fact that even after Reagan signed the amnesty bill in 1986, the Republican presidential candidate, George H.W. Bush, received a mere 30% of the Hispanic vote in 1988, which represented a dip of seven percent from the 1984 election. What’s more, Mr. Bush even boasted one Hispanic daughter-in-law and three half-Hispanic grandchildren, for all the good that did him. Furthermore, he was running against Michael Dukakis, whose photo in the dictionary is used to illustrate “non-entity.”

Even John McCain, who has had a second amnesty at the top of his wish list for several years, only garnered 31% of the Hispanic vote in Arizona while being re-elected to the Senate in 2010.

The final irony, though, is that polls have shown that Latinos in the U.S. are opposed to open borders. If there’s one thing they can do without, it’s additional unskilled laborers undercutting their wages. The things they do care about, not too shockingly, are the things most of us are concerned about: jobs, the economy and national security.

Reince Priebus and the other Pooh-Bahs of the GOP are all making a big mistake when they try to make the Party attractive to everyone through pandering to various groups. All they succeed in doing is turning off those people who sincerely believe conservative values are the best thing for America. They can yak all they want about a large tent, but no tent is large enough to encompass those dunces who want a huge federal government, increased welfare, same-sex marriages, abortions-on-demand, open borders, increased national debt, fraudulent elections, and those of us who don’t.

The GOP may think that Hispanics are stupid, but they shouldn’t also assume they’re crazy. The only loons are the politicians who believe they can turn Latinos into Republicans by trying to mimic Democrats. It hasn’t worked with blacks or with my fellow Jews, and it’s time they quit banging their heads against the wall, whining that it’s not fair that all these groups, including union members, single women, homosexuals, teachers, social workers, college students, defense attorneys and members of the media, all love liberals and hate us. They only succeed in highlighting their pathetic desperation.

Perhaps if the Republicans put on their big boy pants and started behaving as if they actually have core principles and a well-conceived plan for bringing America back from the brink where the Marxists have brought us, the shock alone might attract some converts, including any number of disenchanted conservatives.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • souvoter

    Where, oh where has their common sense gone??!! I agree with you and Ann, these wimpy Republicans need to wise up before it is too late….

  • JohnInMA

    I’ve been standing on the sidelines, mouth agape, watching the GOP trying to play Democrat political games on Democrat turf. Racial politics. At least some give appropriate lip service, saying that the system is broken and must be fixed. But then someone or many start to talk about the Hispanic vote. Motive overtakes sincerity in that case. And making this another monster bill in lieu of some piecemeal, sequential action plan also exposes the truth.

    The good news is Boehner may have found some gonads and will allow the House to be more judicious. We shall see if they actually do something meaningful on their own.

  • Wheels55

    Living in South Florida, I have ample opportunity to discuss this issue with many Hispanics – from many different countries. To a person they all say no to amnesty and do not feel sorry for those who decide they want to skip the law to be here. They say to make the process more stream-lined and perhaps more affordable. But keep the process and secure the borders. I can’t argue with that.

    It seems that those who followed the law want everyone to do the same. Even a guy that is waiting for his family to join him from Columbia. I can’t imagine how much he misses his wife and kids. I see how much he respects our laws and processes.