GLAAD, the Gay Mafia

All problems in the gay community have apparently been solved, which allows the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) the time to turn its attention to the entertainment industry, taking the fair and open minded position that any person or company that does not see things its way is the enemy, and must be made to bend. (No pun intended.)
Every special interest group has tried to turn itself into muscle over the years. Jesse Jackson, Inc. was best at it for a long time, morphing the slightest missteps into press conferences, threats of boycotts, and eventually “donations” to the cause of … um, whatever his cause was. Equality? Child support? Something like that. (No one ever explained how extortion money – sorry, donations – helped further the cause of equality. But furthering the cause of equality was never really the point, so everything worked out.) In any case, it never ceases to amaze the lengths people will go for equality, only to demand genuflection when they’re actually treated as equals; e.g., made fun of.
How it breaks down is, only white men, Catholics, and Jews can be fodder for any sort of criticism or comedic skewering. As we learned with Barack Obama in 2007 and 2008, any criticism of his lack of a record or tendency toward socialism was turned into accusations of racism, as though the idea of the intellectual equivalent of a smart high school sophomore as president weren’t legitimate cause for alarm. And as we are learning now, any mention of homosexuality that doesn’t sound at first blush like reverence is cause for alarm from organizations like GLAAD.
Last weekend in Adelaide, Australia, a professional wrestler called CM Punk got into a shouting match with a fan at ringside, and he did what wrestlers playing the bad guy are supposed to do: antagonize, name call, and make himself as hated as possible. This card was not televised, but another patron at ringside caught the exchange in which Punk says to the fan, “Nice faux hawk, homo!” The video made its way to TMZ and the next thing you know, World Wrestling Entertainment felt compelled to explain to GLADD that Punk’s contract is up in two weeks and he won’t be returning to the active roster. So, you know, how about not releasing the gay dogs this time? Wait – “this time’?
Twice this year, WWE on-air talent have made gay jokes (one on Twitter and one on television), the response being that GLAAD forced itself into the company’s business, “forged a partnership” with WWE, and is rumored to be giving sensitivity training to its writers and other staff. And because it is a publicly traded company that wants to be a “good corporate citizen,” WWE will fall in line, as Tracy Morgan fell in line, as Jennifer Aniston preemptively fell in line by justifying her in-character use of the word “faggot” in the movie Horrible Bosses.
GLAAD knows the difference between what Punk, Morgan, and Aniston did and actual hatred of gays. But it isn’t smart or honest enough as an organization to appreciate the “crying wolf” effect of yelling “homophobia!” just to call attention to itself. Sooner or later it will become just another buzzword that makes people roll their eyes. (Remember when calling someone a racist meant something? Now it’s like yelling “Freebird!” at a rock concert – sure you’ve said it, but who cares?) If it continually demands rapt attention be paid to inconsequential things, GLAAD runs the risk of alienating and boring people it will need when something important actually comes up.
Moreover, unfunny and uncreative people should keep their noses out of the entertainment business, because they have no concept of what goes into building and keeping an audience, let alone producing a product that earns an honest emotional reaction. Entertainers should be left to entertain, and outfits like GLAAD forced to earn a more honest living by fundraising on the backs of issues that matter, lest it run the risk of taking the tired, irrelevant look of the modern Jesse Jackson, Inc.

Author Bio:

Brian S. Wise used to be the lead columnist at and a fairly well known pundit; now he’s just some dude. He has cool ideas for books and columns, but hardly ever stays out of bed long enough to get started on any of them. He is available via email at and via The Twitter at @BrianSWise
  • will swoboda

    I think people need to regain their sense of humor. For crying out loud, somethings are just plain funny and don’t mean others any harm. My couisin Marty is a jew. Once he was walking down Baltimore Street, in my hometown and someone hollowered across the street, “Hey Jew boy, what time is it?” Marty replies, “If you can see that far up my pant leg to know I’m a jew, you can see my watch.” Marty is a great guy.

  • Sandy

    Hey, I have all that. All I need is a dildo and tape to complete the ensemble.

    • Brian S. Wise

      I will admit, the dildo-to-the-head thing is a little reserved for, say, the NYC Gay Pride Parade. But why not give it a shot, right? Always seems like they’re having a hell of a time, making nuisances of themselves in the streets at noon …

    • Negev

      Great! Now I can’t sleep :-)))

  • Vince Ricardo

    A couple of questions: If someone shouts the “Homo” slur to an actual homosexual, is that still considered hate speech? Wouldn’t that be a compliment or, more apt, just stating a fact? Is it just the context?

    Second, do people actually shout “Freebird” at Lynyrd Skynyrd concerts, or is that just reserved for every other musical group concert (and piano recital) out there?

    • Brian S. Wise

      One: I think if a Straight utters it at all, there has to be a problem. It’s a Gay Code or something. If you were gay and hanging out at the Gay Pride Parade with tight pink shorts, a rainbow boa, and a dildo taped to your forehead, anything goes. Anything other than that, though, and they have to make a spectacular, frilly deal out of it. But that’s a guess.

      Two: I would guess not – Skynyrd will actually play “Freebird,” whereas the goal (and this is also a guess) is to get bands who wouldn’t play it, to play it. REM, the Stones, Metallica, et cetera. Anyway, I say give the piano recital thing a shot. You never know. You might be pleasantly surprised. Or not, but you might be.

      • CCNV

        Finishing up one helluva day, I sat down to read your article. After reading your response (“hanging out…tight pink shorts, a rainbow boa, and a dildo taped to your forehead”), all my problems just disappeared. Thanks for the memory!!

        • Brian S. Wise

          Excellent. Then my lack of sleep has served someone well.

      • Vince Ricardo

        LOL, Are you saying that you’ve never heard anyone yelling it at a piano recital or during a Middle School Band “concert?” The glorious thing about yelling “Freebird” is that it can be used during most any situation … though, admittedly, I got some pretty strange looks from my wife’s doctor (not to mention my wife) when I yelled it during the birth of our my first child …

        I totally understand the straight “Homo!” thing. Similar to who can and cannot use the “N-word” – hypocrisy and double standards have no bounds. Ridiculous, really.

        • Brian S. Wise

          I’m happy to say I dodged both those things; my son developed no musical interest. But I’m with you about yelling things during deliveries, et cetera. Did you go that extra mile and bring your lighter to hold in the air? Because you never know when someone will start singing. You never know.

          I’m beginning to take pride in (what I hope is the) the intentionally silliest comment thread in this website’s recent history. Really need to sleep more.

          • CCNV

            “Really need to sleep more.”

            Just a guess, but was this sentence uttered in the voice of Captain Kirk??

          • Brian S. Wise

            @CCNV It is now.

    • Vince is a DORK

      If YOU don’t know the rules about all-things-homo, then who does, Vince?

      And just how many “piano recitals” do you attend? (Yeah that says it all).

      But otherwise, REALLY funny comment. We’re all just rollin’ in laughter! Ho, ho, ho – “freebird” Hardy Har har! HARDY, har har!! So, so funny.

      • Brian S. Wise

        Call me a reactionary, but I’m detecting a hint of sarcasm in your comment.