Hey Fatso! Listen Up!

You hear the one about the guy who is so fat he doesn’t have an address.  He has a zip code!

How about this:  Yo mama so fat when she walks outside in a yellow dress, people yell “TAXI!”

I’m guessing New Yorkers hear a lot of fat jokes, since more than half the people who live in the city are overweight or downright obese.  I didn’t know that until I read the New York Times today.  So the mayor, Michael Bloomberg, has come up with a plan to fight the problem:  He’s going to ban “the sale of large sodas and other sugary drinks at restaurants, movie theaters and street carts, in the most ambitious effort yet by the Bloomberg administration to combat rising obesity,” as the Times explained it.

My sources tell me there are more rules on the way.

I understand that the mayor will make the sale of Ding Dongs and Ho Hos a felony.

He’s also going to ban apple pie, hot dogs, salt, cheesecake and margarine. Anyone caught selling any of these soon-t0-be illegal substances will be sent to re-education camp on Staten Island.

And if a black market pops up to provide New York’s fatsos with illegal stuff to shove down their throats, the mayor has a contingency plan to force everyone over a government specified weight to join a health club – or be expelled to New Jersey, where they should feel more at home since the governor is fat.

Okay, I made a lot of that up.  But the ban on large sodas is not a joke.

“Obesity is a nationwide problem, and all over the United States, public health officials are wringing their hands saying, ‘Oh, this is terrible,’ ” Mr. Bloomberg told the Times.

“New York City is not about wringing your hands; it’s about doing something,” the mayor said. “I think that’s what the public wants the mayor to do.”

This raises a question:  Where is Ron Paul when you really need him?

According to the proposed ban – it has to be approved by the city’s Board of Health, which is a virtual certainty since the mayor appointed the board members – “The sale of any cup or bottle of sweetened drink larger than 16 fluid ounces — about the size of a medium coffee, and smaller than a common soda bottle — would be prohibited under the first-in-the-nation plan,” according to the Times.

New Yorkers may be fat, but that doesn’t (necessarily) mean they’re stupid.  If you can’t buy a 16 oz. drink – why not buy two 8 oz. drinks?  Duh!

There is a serious point in all of this, of course, and it has to do with how some people view the role of government in a free country.  Some, like Mayor Bloomberg, see government as a nanny.  They lack faith in the people who elected them.  They figure they don’t know what’s good for them, so government has to pass laws to make sure the dummies don’t do dumb things – like drink the wrong drinks or eat the wrong foods.

But if government can implement rules like that, what can’t government do? Can it make you eat fruits and vegetables every day?  Before you say “Of course not,” why not?  Soda is bad for you.  Fruits and vegetables are good for you.  In the nanny state, a law mandating that you eat well makes sense.

And what about ObamaCare? If government can force people to buy medical insurance for the good of society, why can’t it force them eat broccoli or apples for the same reason?  The U.S. Supreme Court may answer that question, any day now.

One more thing:  my sources tell me Mayor Bloomberg is planning on banning fat jokes.  But until he does try this one:  Yo momma’s so fat she had to get baptised at sea world.

That’s funny.  Not as funny as the ban on large sodas, but pretty funny.



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  • frankyburns

    Those drinks are dumb, for dumb people, and even dumber people complain about their being banned. Wake up.

  • MCH

    The more our leaders come up with new ideas for controling us the “stupider” they sound.  My father always said ” you can lead a horse  to water but you can’t make him drink.”   The mayors plan will have us  buying  2 sodas.  Pay tax on the sodas.  Is that his plan?   People will  be fat and not golly paying more.   The poor get screwed again (not by the wealthy) the big soda is often shared by  a family so they can save money on a day out.  They go to a fast food place because the can afford it. You also get refills. No Tax.  Go back to the drawing board.   I’m  going back for  another soda.        

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/PPL2AXPXJMWPEJWFN34MPC5RNY terry


  • nepakandy

    Just a thought.  I don’t recall seeing 8oz bottles of soda.   So if a person can’t get 16 oz and opts to buy two of something, it would be 12 oz.  So, instead of the original 16 oz of soda, they are now drinking 24 oz of soda.

    • Brian_Bayless

      Supermarkets sell 8 packs of 8oz cans.

  • Sylport40

    You made me laugh and there is not a hell of a lot to laugh about  these days. Thanks!!

  • Iklwa

    If one believed the pap our liberal friends push regarding our collective health (“We’re only doing this for your own good, stupid.”), one might get the impression an American, if only they followed THE PRESCRIPTION, would live forever, never become over weight, their skin would have a flawless complexion and men would be potent for all millennia to come.
    Come to think of it, I wonder how many liberals make it to 100-years-old and how many are currently purchasing Viagra at the age of fifty.
    Now, where did I put down my Crème Soda?

  • docww

    Although I don’t agree with the Mayor’s proposal, I do agree
    with his effort to target soda and other sugary drinks and food as a major
    driver of many of our current health problems.


    It is now clear that excessive fructose primarily from sugar
    and HFCS is the driving force behind insulin resistance and central obesity.
    When someone with insulin resistance consumes high glycemic carbohydrates,
    especially from grains, their brain is subjected to magnified glucose spikes.


    These glucose spikes cause excessive dumping of serotonin,
    norepinephrine and dopamine from nerve cells eventually causing
    neurotransmitter depletion and a chronic brain disorder called Carbohydrate
    Associated Reversible Brain syndrome or CARB
    syndrome. People with CARB syndrome develop up to 22 brain dysfunction
    symptoms that interfere with their ability to function. The hallmark symptom of
    CARB syndrome is craving sweet and starchy foods, pushing people to consume
    more of the food that is frying their brain. Learn more at http://carbsyndrome.com.


    Because the brain plays a key role in auto-regulating fat
    stores, people with CARB syndrome begin to store excessive fat even when they
    diet in an attempt to lose weight. Sugar is a chronic toxin akin to cigarette
    smoking. Sugar consumption is driving up health care costs for everyone and
    thus it should be regulated in the same way we regulate other chronic toxins
    like tobacco. The mayor’s is right on target when he suggests that sugar is
    destroying our collective health but I would suggest that he focuses on
    education and perhaps taxing sugar rather than a police-state approach.

  • mnolan13

    The problem with leftists is that they ignore the consequences of their actions.  Since refills are allowed under Bloomberg’s scheme, does he intend to refund the cost of additional wait staff to keep the tiny drinks topped off?

    I wonder how many extra calories Bloomberg’s going to get in the form of spit from wait staff who are unhappy with the amount of extra work this idiot is going to cause them.

  • Jeffreydan

      Two words: recall election.

      In the meantime, I’d suggest establishments reduce their prices a little, and then sell two 15-oz drinks for approximately the price of what a 32-oz would be. It’d be their own way of giving their dictator mayor the finger.

  • EddieD_Boston

    Liberals like Bloomberg created the obese underclass when they gave America the Great Society. Welfare has taken the need to be responsible away. Next comes feeding your kids McDonalds food 7 days a week.

    None of them get it.

    Ever see an educated couple from a comfortable suburb with 3 fat kids? Me neither.

  • steve

    See, this is what the demo’s want…Power over everything,,  to prove we need them,,and we are DUMB…Dont the people of these left handed states get it yet…As long as we need them for money,,houseing food,,water,,lightbulbs,,that GE makes because they get more money from the deals from the White House gives them,,so there buddy,,buddy’s then thats ok..Then they  have the deal of who ARE THE HAVE AND THE HAVE NOTS…See there not dumb there just Constitution breakers,,witch starts from the W.House and  so he can say,,U NEED ME BECAUSE OF ALL THESE PROBLEMS,,WITCH THEY STARTED IN THE FIRST PLACE..The more we need them…the longer u will stand in line for what u need,,and will be hurting more because the even worst case scenarios,,they don’t care were u are in line or if its life or death problem..Even the millatary,,they have to go through red tape on there jobs and most of them face major problems or life or death situation..+ everything they buy,,cost  50 to 200% more and we pay for that because they wont go to public stores to save money…Y should they,, they  dont have to acount for it to US,,or anyone else,,for that matter..If people are over weight,,witch has been going on since the 1900,,ITS NOT THE GOVERMENT JOB TO TELL US WHAT TO EAT OR NOT EAT..SOUNDS A LITTLE LIKE HAVEING A PERFECT RACE??????SOUND FAMILURE,,,MAYBE,,NAZI LIKE…WHERE DOSE IT STOP…MR. PERFECT IN THE W.HOUSE HAS BEEN ON THIS GOVERMENT CONTROL THING FROM HIS DIRTY HEALS OF HIS SHOES,,witch he puts on the Ovel office desk,,and is conterably as possible,, while everyone else is in line for food stamps,,WITCH IS A BANG FOR YOUR BUCK… or any goverment entitlement,,but he’s OK,, HES GOT HIS FEET UP ON THE DESK,,HARD WORK  ISNT IT??? SINCE JAN 20,,in 09,,WITH TAKING CONTROL Of GM,,is the beginning of control for him..He also likes having power of our energy department,,because he can keep us right were he wants us,,no coal here but,,but China is now going to buy set up shop to get coal HERE,,AND WE CANT GET COAL HERE BECAUSE ITS AGAINST THE LAW HERE…WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE,,????WE CANT HELP OURSELFS,,BUT OTHER COUNTRYS CAN HIT US OVER THE HEAD AND WITH OUR OWN  WALLETS TO BEAT US UP,,AND HAVE CONTROL HERE,,AND U.S. PEOPLE CANT??? ALL this ANTI-AMERICAN PRES. HAS DONE IS NOTHING FOR US BUT BE BUDDYS WITH OUR ENEMYS…Y??? SO WE LOOK MORE LIKE KENYA EVERYDAY???AND HAS BECOME A GREAT DIVIDER OF PERSONS VS. PERSONS..DEVIDE AND CONCOUR…IF HE GETS REELECTED,,THEN WE HAVE ALL THATS COMING TO US AND MORE…U LIKE THIS ECONOMY,,,CONTROL,,,CORUPTION??THEN VOTE FOR HIM,,,THEN EVERYONE CAN LIVE IN THE STREETS,,EXCPT HIM OF COURSE,,HE WILL REELECT HIMSELF AND BECOME KING BECAUSE WE NEED HIM…WITH HIS FEET ON THE DESK,,,DOING GRAND WORK,,BUT HE CAN TALK WELL ACORDING TO THE LIB MEDIA,,SO HE CAN WAST TIME,,THE COUNTRYS FUTURE AND ANYTHING THAT WOULD BRING PROSPERITY,,BUY CUTTING TAXS SO PEOPLE CAN GO TO WORK,,WITCH HE WOULD HATE BECAUSE WE DONT NEED HIM..THAT WOULD SCARE HIM…BEING KING IS A HARD JOB TO KEEP…BUT WITH  HIS FEET ON THE DESK MAYBE SOME WAY WE CAN GET SOMEONE TO GO TO WORK FOR US…    GOOD LUCK EVERYONE…DEMOS TO,,HOPEFULLY WE GO RED STATES SO WE Can show them with work u GET THINGS DONE …RIGHT.. NOT LIKE AN  A CORUPT ACORN…1 OTHER THING U MIGHT WANT TO KNOW..THE W.HOUSE AND CONGRESS HAS ONLY TWICE,,THATS   TWICE,,been in CONTROLED ALL THREE ,,SINCE 1900…IS’NT A TIME TO CHANGE THIS DEMO GRAB BAG GOVERMENT CONTROL…SO WE CAN SEE PEOPLE GO BACK TO WORKING FOR THE DREAM…ALL THE DEMOS HAVE DONE IS CHASE THE DREAM AWAY…WHAT A GREAT GOV,,SYSTEM..HIGH GAS PRICES AND  GREAT LARGE UNEMPLOMENT FOR ALL…      

    • Nancye

      Steve said:

      Dont the people of these left handed states get it yet


      Please Steve, although I understood what you meant, as a southpaw, I was shocked…I tell ya shocked..shocked… at the left-handed comment.  I wish there was another way to call liberals what they are other than that!

      Okay – so I was pulling your leg a little – but try being a southpaw for awhile, and see what I mean.  Left has taken on a whole new meaning in recent years. :)

      • steve

        Nancye,,i did not mean to pick on left handed people,,my brother is left handed,,and no way in hell would do that to him or any one else..it just a walking throught words..please forgive me..steve

        • Nancye

          I was really just joking with you. 

  • FloridaJim

    I get so sick of Bloomberg and the rest of the Obama elites who think they know better than the citizens of the USA. How did Stalin do with his minute rules and regulations?
    He created an unliveable society and so are the Obama/Bloombergs.

  • chas615

    After reading the Times article about this I have learned 2 things;
    1) 50% of New Yorkers are fat
    2) The majority of New Yorkers are stupid for electing this dilrod as their mayor.

    • Iklwa

      Astute observations!

  • http://twitter.com/FTGr8test Frederick Theobald

    Why is mayor Bloomberg not locked up in a facility with no sharp edges?

  • Tim Ned

    They came for pop and I said nothing.
    They came for hotdogs and I said nothing.
    They came for potato chips and I said nothing.
    Finally, they came for my beer and there was no reason left to drink.

  • Ahfoonery

    I think it’s an “economic booster” forcing folks to buy two sodas instead of one.  How obsurd.

  • Paulbopko

    I thought Bloomberg was smart! He never should have been allowed to run for a 3rd term..

  • Dpthoensen1

    I used to smoke. I loved it. Then I got tired of it and quit. Got tired of paying the money to kill myself. I used to be fat. I loved to eat, and eat the wrong stuff. But I really loved it. Then I got tired of being fat and I lost weight. The amazing thing was that I did this because I wanted to, not because some liberal hand wringing geek decided that I needed to quit smoking or being fat. Where or when will this end?

  • robin in fl

    hmmmm..I’m thinking no matter how much soda or diet soda one drinks,if they don’t move around some,they may still get fat….or eeven if they drink a smaller soda or diet soda,but eat a half gallon of ice cream they may still get fat.
      I drink diet because I like the taste of it better,but I could still stand to drop 20 pounds IMO.and diet soda is VERY unhealthy if you read about it one will see it causes all kinds of ailments..but I still chose to drink it because I like it.

        I say ban eating dogs and cats and horses and manatees and whatever other animals all over the world that probably are not a good idea to eat rather then worrying about the size of a soda!

  • genann59

    Someone needs to remind Bloomberg that he is only the mayor of NYC and not God. He needs to stick to the things that mayors are supposed to do and leave the citizens to decide the things citizens have the right to decide. For God’s sake (the real God, not Bloomberg)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Paul-Borden/1075346246 Paul Borden

    Most fast-food restaurants now have areas where you pour your own fountain drinks — and get refills! So the size of the cup on the proposed ban when it comes to fast-food outlets is ineffective unless you are getting the items “to go.” Come to think of it, ineffective is pretty much the result of many of these so-called nanny-state rules libs love.

  • Tmwight

    Self control is so Republican.  Eliminating “community rating” (equality) in health insurance and  charging for life style choices would put the burden on those without self control and take it from the community.  We are subsidizing dangerous personal choices.  INSANE (Oh, that’s a disability!)

  • Pasekfred

    My favorite was from the late great Benny Hill. “My wife, she’s fat. When she wears a girdle, she has a 42 inch waist…and a 52 in neck!”

  • Jvt1865

    Maybe they’re fat because they’re lazy? Also, if people ‘want’ to shorten their life expectancy,  be obese, look ugly, be un-healthy we should let them ‘pursue happiness’.

  • Mary


  • waterlylies84

    Bloomberg is no specimen for health! He may not be obese but he certainly is not at an optimal healthy weight. He is pasty, like been in prison pasty, and he clearly has trouble catching his breath, if his public speeches are any indication. Clearly he needs to start with himself before he starts on his citizens.

  • Kayakbob

    “….put down the big-gulp….and back away”

    • steve

      your right,,this is were we should be drawing the line in the sand for the problems  of the world,,like Jerry Seinfeld said,, i like being a grown up know,,because if i want a cookie..im goimg to have as many as i want..don’t people in goverment have prioitys,,lets see….UNEMPLOYMENT,,GAS PRICES,,HOUSEING,,OIL,,OUR ENEMYS,,CRIME,,INFLATION,,CHILDERN WITH LEMONAID STANDS,,NOT PAYING TAXES OF COURSE…AND I HAD KNOW IDEA THAT A BIG GULP WOULD BE THE START OF ALL THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD..THANKS kAYABOB FOR SETING ME AND EVERYONE STRAIGHT…WOOOOO….THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE..

  • Vince Ricardo

    So New Yorkers are gonna lay down and “fuggedaboutit?” Why not ban New York City Pizza, Mr. Bloomberg? Will THAT be what it takes to wake New Yorkers up?

  • Bruce A.

    Save the USA.  Ban big government!

  • Kathie Ampela

    What do you think…do you think Michael Bloomberg is trying to curry favor with the Obama administration? I live in NY and I’ve seen him change over the years from a somewhat sensible Democrat/Independent into this big government tyrant. There is a reason term limits exist..the third term has turned him into a dictator. We have more than enough nutritional information everywhere to make informed choices about what we eat…this is is absurd.  By the way, Happy Birthday, Bernie.

  • Drew Page

    Why pick on soda pop?  Why not include beer, wine and liquor, pizza, mashed potatoes and gravy,french fries, ice cream, cookies, cake, pastries of all types?  And why not roll all fat New Yorkers out of bed at 6:00 am for 45 minutes of sit ups and jumping jacks each morning at their nearest public park?   Jerry Nadler could be the group leader.

    I think Mayor Bloomberg should set the example by firing any and all City of New York employees who don’t meet the ideal weight limits for their height. 

  • Spencer

    Actually the feds can make you eat certain foods. A children attending a school with a Federal Food Program had their bag lunch taken away from them because it did not have the correct food in it. The child had to pay for and eat the food provided by the school. This was reported I believe on Fox News a few months ago.

  • LibbyMo

    This is ridiculous!
    Yes, you can buy 2-8oz. sodas, but it will cost significantly more than the  16-oz soda (or larger), and I’m guessing that Bloomberg knows this. He’s not only trying to control what NYC’ers drink, but he’s eliminating the option for bulk pricing on drinks, effectively raising the price on drinks.  My husband and I often share drinks, such as at the movies or on a picnic, because it’s a better value to buy one large vs. two small.

    • Jvt186

       The point of the article is government interfering with the personal liberties of the citizens of the United States. Not the price of drinks LibbyMo-ron!

      • Michael

        I think Libby’s statement that  “He’s not only trying to control what NYC’ers drink” indicates that she understood the point of the article.  She merely added to the discussion by making the point about bulk prices.  Maybe you are the one who should focus on improving your reading comprehension skills, rather than making personal attacks on other commenters here. 

  • Ed

    While I think this ban is inane, doesn’t this scenario fit in with the Rublican mantra that these issues should be handled at the most local level? I think even Ron Paul, whom you reference, wouldn’t have a problem with this, since it’s a local ordinance.
    Ed in Indy

    • JohnInMA

      The purpose of keeping governance local is to keep it effective and ACCOUNTABLE.  It is a lot easier to reach out and express your opinion when the elected person lives next door, so to speak.

      But nanny action is nanny action no matter where it occurs.  It is just as intrusive.  But like I questioned in my earlier comment, it’s a little baffling that New Yorkers are not more energetically resisting a lot of Bloomberg’s silliness.  Perhaps many simply think it through rationally and know they have simple and personal remedies for a good bit of the stupidity.  For example, to many there isn’t much of a challenge in bringing their own salt or ordering multiple drinks.   Once it really begins to hit the resident’s pocketbooks, I expect we will see more  and louder push back.  

  • JohnInMA

    Bloomberg is the best living example (animated?) we have of the Napoleon complex. No other elected class person takes the position as consistently as he does that government knows better how to “improve” you life.  The real curiosity is how little protest there seems to be from the city residents.  I somewhat infrequently spend time there, and I encounter people often who ridicule the nanny policies.  But there never seems to be much vocal or public resistance to each encroachment, whether the actions are proposed or acted upon.

  • Erica Williams Rice

    Sounds like the “New Society” in the movie Demolition Man. “Anything that is not good for you is bad, hence, illegal”. If you take 5 steps forward from the “large soda” ban, it stops being funny, and starts being scary.

  • RonKean

    My wife was so fat the flies sewed up the screen on the kitchen door just to keep her in.