So, anything interesting happen so far this month?
Kidding. Now that Barack Obama has gotten himself another four years to show his appreciation for this country by fundamentally transforming it, I have terrible news for his most ardent fans. (Anyone remember how no president’s supporters/voters would be so sweet on him that the word “fan” would actually fit ‘em? Man, I crave those sumptuous days.) Yes, I indeed have terrible news for you youngsters and young-at-heart-sters who are Fans Of Obama (FOO for short), and it is this: it’s now time to grow up. A sufficient number of citizens, non-citizens, animals, corpses, and cartoon characters voted so that the executive power stays on your side, so you’re going to have to finally start behaving responsibly and honestly now that you have it. That’s right, you’re being Uncle Ben Parker’ed.
Once you’ve stopped grumbling, it is time to swear. I know I did a little of that on November 7th. Please raise your right hand (or your left, hell if I care). Okay, um, you’re almost there—just face your hand the other way and unclench your thumb and the other fingers now…that’s better. Now repeat after me: I hereby acknowledge…
Now, don’t you all feel like you’ve matured? If it feels like you have, welcome to the world of honest, thoughtful adults, compadre. If you’re not entirely sure, at least you can say you are now several paragraphs older. If you still think I’m a wrong-headed ideologue who is several notches below the level of simpleton who wasted several minutes of your valuable time, I know you are but what am I?
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