In Other Words…

It’s nothing new to see liberals engage in wordplay, where they misuse, euphemize, and essentially ruin everyday speech. That said, it’s impossible for me to not single out Politico’s Jonathan Martin, who a few days ago revealed his long-distance relationship with the word “fact” to Howard Kurtz (“…we had the fact that one of these women was brought upon by Cain…”)

Martin’s characterization of an allegation as if it were an established truth is just another utterance of “torture” in place of “waterboarding,” a sequel to “Bush lied-people died,” a twin sibling of “Republicans are the party of the Rich.” You can’t really blame the guy for doing it, frankly. For one thing, he no doubt believes Cain did it; he’d probably swallow every word if you told him a conservative candidate egged your house. For another, Martin needs to justify his eventual vote in the next election. When you pull the lever for a man who for 3 years has shown roughly the same ability to govern as a torn tablecloth, you’ll feel less like a moron if the opponent has been publicly shamed.

One silly little word recently used by a lone reporter (a term I’m using just for the sake of discussion) now has me in a ruffle because it brought to mind the even more annoying liberal word game, the use of euphemisms (used cars are now “pre-owned”, etc.)

Know what happened recently to all those illegal aliens? They disappeared and were replaced with scads of undocumented workers. Did you know there are no more handicapped people in the world? There are challenged people, though. Even Planned Parenthood’s name is a euphemism, but I do admit it rolls off the tongue way better than Unborn Baby-Death & Statutory Rape Concealment Emporium.

So why should liberals have all the fun? Not only do I think conservatives can use euphemisms to our own advantage, I bet we’d be downright euph-tastic. Examples:

-tax cuts, which in liberal parlance would be “revenue loss,” become “people keeping more of their hard-earned dough.”

-global warming, which liberals have already tarted up into “climate change,” is now “Al Gore’s new megamansion” courtesy of the Right.

-unions, often sanitized by liberals with “working-class,”  are now the far more apt “knee-cappers with tenure.”

-Obamacare, with the official & noble-sounding title “Affordable Care Act,” becomes “The Trillion-Dollar Placebo.”

-the alternative energy industry (“green jobs”)? Nope. It’s now “umpteenth unemployment check.”

-deficit spending on public education (“investment”)? Nope again. Try “billions in backscratching.”

And in honor of the aforementioned Mr. Martin, who no doubt fancies himself a “journalist,” this conservative has created the title “Definition Pimp.”

Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe my baby daughter just made a wee-wee.

Author Bio:

Jeffrey Webb is just an average, blue-collar guy who likes to write stuff. He left his home state of Vermont for California with his family at age 7 and has regretted it ever since. A 24-year veteran of the home improvement industry, his hobbies include cooking, playing the drums, and verbally savaging annoying celebrities. He lives in San Diego with his extremely patient wife and two children.
  • sam

    wonderful!

  • RobB

    It’s not fair to blame the twisting of words on the liberal propaganda machine (sorry, main stream media), it’s really all Lewis Carroll’s fault, he started it.

    “‘I don’t know what you mean by “glory”,’ Alice said.

    Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. ‘Of course you don’t — till I tell you. I meant “there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!”‘

    ‘But “glory” doesn’t mean “a nice knock-down argument”,’ Alice objected.

    ‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.'”

    Through the Looking Glass, by Lewis Carroll

    I wonder if Lewis Carroll was a liberal?

  • David R. Zukerman

    Words mean whatever liberals say they do. Liberals are never in error. They are smarter than the rest of us and that is why they must always be in charge, and it is our fault when their dictates do not achieve the desired results. I would tug at my forelock whenver I am in the presence of a liberal but I am baldand have no forelock to tug and it is my fault I am bald because I probaobly did not comply with liberal determinations on nutrition. Please note, hoever, that the failing economy squeezing the benighted among us out of middle class is actually beneficial to our health. The less we can afford gasoline, the more we are likely to walk and, thereby, get needed exercise. Al;so, the more food prices rise, the less we will eat, which also will get us back on the lean track. And so, it is my intention to walk and then get back to jogging and if I thereafter get felled by a fatal malady, why — it just means I will not have to spend years bound to a nursing home bed or wheelchair as the outside world nickel and dimes itself into a moneygrabbing frenzy, simultaneously reducing the amount sold with every price hike.

  • wally2

    I agree with this killing of true meaning of words in an attempt to fool the public. Also, I am outraged by the government using spending of tax payer money as part of GDP. This is the reason that Obama is getting away with the increase in more government workers which as we all know is an increase in the GDP. How can we go wrong? Lets put everyone on the government payroll and the financial crisis will be solved and we will live happily ever after. LOL.

  • Ken Hansen

    The one that rubs me the wrong way is they way thy have turned “Gov’t loan guarantees” into “Venture Capital Investing” – that simple re-phrasing forgives the Gov’t (in the eyes of most people) for it’s failed investment because those types of investments are by nature very speculative, but unlike Venture Capital Investing the federal Gov’t doesn’t get a share in the company to benefit if/when it does succeed.

    And why would anyone support the Gov’t making risky speculative investments with borrowed money? Yet somehow, the master logicians on the left won’t allow workers the CHOICE to invest a PORTION of their Social Security payments in the stock market, yet they have no apparent qualms with taking a half billion borrowed dollars and in effect putting it on green on the roulette wheel, but instead of our investment(wager) coming back 18x our original investment (wager), if we win, we simply get our money back, plus a sub-market interest level…

    Don’t let reporters/politicians get away calling loans guarantees “venture capital investments” – when they try, ask them how much of the company the Gov’t got in return for it’s investment.

  • Shirl

    How about their green jobs (Solyndra) 500 million dollar photo op. The same idiots that did the photo op of the airliner over New York that had the people running for their lives; and it was only the nincompoops handling Obama’s pr campaign. The only green in these jobs are the green back dollars for this corrupt administration.