Is Obama or Isn’t He

It’s not every day, thank heavens, that Louis Farrakhan, Dennis Kucinich and I agree about anything, so imagine my surprise when we all thought that Obama was a moron for deciding to abide by the U.N.’s wishes in Libya.

While it’s true that Muammar Gaddafi is a brutal tyrant, that’s par for the course in Arab and Muslim nations. In fact, the only thing I’ve noticed that sets him apart from the norm is that he appears to be a transvestite. So, why the heck are we looking to depose him? For offending the international dress code?

On top of that, we had Secretary of State Clinton announcing that the reason we weren’t about to rush to the defense of Syrian rebels was because — and I hope you’re sitting down for this — Syria’s Bashar Al-Assad is a “reformer.” I must confess that when the Ice Princess says goofy things like that, I find myself doubting the veracity of her business cards, which identify her as the Smartest Woman in America.

Speaking of people who aren’t nearly as smart as they pretend to be, I keep hearing pundits suggesting that Hillary will battle Obama for the 2012 nomination. I realize that it’s often difficult to come up with attention-grabbing commentary in non-election years, but this notion is beyond the pale. On what possible basis would she challenge him? ObamaCare? Heck, that was simply HillaryCare reheated in the microwave. Besides, the Democrats know they can’t win a national election without garnering 90% of the black vote. Even Hillary isn’t foolhardy enough to imagine blacks will troop out to vote for the white hussy who unseated their guy.

Speaking of Obama, I am always torn when it comes to listening to one of his speeches. Although I know I’ll get a few chuckles out of it, as when he explained that after three weeks of dithering, he had to dip America’s toe into Libya without discussing it with Congress in order to avert “a political massacre that would have stained the conscience of the world.”

Where does he dream up this stuff? “The conscience of the world?” I fell off my chair, laughing. If only he had gone into show business. He’s a comic genius. I mean, imagine keeping a straight face while delivering that line. Still, he really should seek help with his delivery. I mean, maybe it’s just me, but I find it really annoying when he pauses…every few seconds…when doling out…his knee-slappers. By the time he gets to the punch line, it’s easy to forget the set-up to his joke.

To be fair, the Democrats in the audience don’t seem to mind. Like parents at their kids’ first violin recital, they’re always convinced he’s great. Every time he opens his yap, they think they’re listening to a combination of the Gettysburg Address and the Sermon on the Mount. Of course, unlike the two fellows who gave those speeches, Obama doesn’t write his own material.

But that’s how it is with liberals. When it comes to cutting their leaders some slack, you can’t beat these slackers. Whether it’s Harry Reid insisting that the NEA should continue receiving tax dollars, lest a cowboy poetry festival be forced to sell tickets, or Nancy Pelosi’s announcing that a multi-trillion dollar bill be passed so that we can all find out what’s in it, the ninnies on the left can always be counted on for a resounding “Amen!”

It doesn’t even perplex liberals when they find out that, propaganda to the contrary, Wall Street donated more money to Obama’s campaign than to McCain’s, and that there are enough former Goldman Sachs executives in Obama’s administration to field a softball league.

Speaking of liberals, I am often asked why so many of my fellow Jews are devoted to the left. It’s a complicated matter, with part of the answer going back hundreds of years before Karl Marx was stinking up London libraries. But a short answer is that even though the Jews have a tough, patriarchal God, they’re often raised in matriarchal families. As a result, they come to believe that conflict can always be settled through diplomacy (talking things out) or sanctions (time-outs and no dessert with dinner), but never through war (spanking).

Armed conflict, they’re convinced, settles nothing. They will continue saying this, no matter how often you bring up the American Revolution, the War Between the States, WWII or the Six-Day War. They’re convinced that there is no such thing as evil, but merely an honest difference of opinion, and that nothing on earth is immune to the power of tolerance, good intentions and verbal persuasion.

Which leads me to wonder: Is Barack Obama neither Christian nor Muslim, but Jewish?

©2011 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write Burt!
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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • MarioP

    Boy oh boy Mr. Burt, you are one asinine character. You view Gaddafi’s violent oppression less of an incentive to take action against, especially with an overwhelming international support, than the second involvement in Iraq, which resulted in thousands of US and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi deaths? Please explain to us what justification you saw for that invasion? You are attacking Obama for his limited involvement in Libya, yet no word from you about McCain’s visit to that nation and calling for increased support for the rebellion? Can you imagine the magnitude of our Libyan involvement had McCain been in power? Your one sided agenda is so obvious, how can anyone take your opinions as rational?

    You then attack HillaryCare and ObamaCare, but like the typical Republican, your attacks are without an alternate solution. How do you view the healthcare system, with drastically increasing costs to the insured for years? What about the dropped coverages once the medical bills get too high or the pre-existing conditions issue? Bush2 had a great opportunity with his Republican congress to pass some kind of a healthcare reform bill, but no cigar.

    Your attacks then extend to Wall Street and the banks that backed Obama over McCain. Does that sound like the 2008 Republican presidential candidate was viewed as the more advantageous for business? Don’t think so. Not only had the public had enough of the Right’s shenanigans, so did the corporate America. And does it really matter who is backing the Democrats? As long as the party with the better economic track record gets into the Office, it really doesn’t matter who is behind their support, because the entire nation benefits. If the Republicans were the ones that have been delivering economically over the last few decades, you should then be questioning such Liberal backing from the financial institutions.

    Finally, I love your one sided conclusion about the armed conflicts. You justify wars with victories that the typical American views as achievements, but you omit our military failures, like the Vietnam War. Sure, the victor views the war as justifiable, but remember, for every winner, there is a loser. And those losers would prefer they had negotiated instead of starting up their military machine.

    As always, you are a crack up, and you keep me entertained.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Konrad: I beg to differ. My fellow Jews have long believed in and worked for a Socialist utopia. Jews are brilliant in a great many areas, but when it comes to politics 80% of us are brain-dead. That explains why, with over 40 Jews in the House and Senate, only one of them–Eric Cantor–is a Republican.


  • Burt Prelutsky

    JohninMA: I don’t think you raised a point I missed. So far as I can see, you merely mentioned another item that’s covered in the closing paragraphs.

    Rod: Good luck with that.

    Regards, Burt p.s. Happy Easter.

  • JohnInMA

    Obama seems pretty irreligious to me. If he practices any form of worship, the only outward signs we see are self-worship. Take any prepared speech for the press and count how times he utters “I” or “me.” Likewise when he campaigns (has he ever really NOT made campaign speeches when talking to the public even after inauguration?) .

    And on the rationale for Jews being liberal – Burt you miss one key item. Why do so many buy the tax and spend and curtailing of freedoms? Most of my Jewish friends and acquaintances are more committed to the social redistribution practices than concerned about the use of force. Just curious why that is.

  • Konrad Lau

    In the arena of big game hunting there is a new “hide” or “blind” on the market used to conceal the hunter waiting for his target. It is a series of mirrored panels that are erected in a perimeter around the hunter. The panels are leaning outward at the top and reflect the surrounding ground structure.

    I see our President in the same light. Depending up his surroundings, he can appear to be tall grass, wooded forest, rocky outcroppings or barren sand. What is concealed behind the mirrored surface is a dedicated uber-leftist with the goal of making America pay for all of her historical imperialist injustices. The sacrifices he so regularly promises we face are merely recompense for our forebear’s sins.

    I believe some Jews continue to vote democrat because they can so readily relate to “the little guy” or the “downtrodden” and feel compelled to support those on the left because they truly can’t actually believe that anyone would destroy America and then remake her in the image of a socialist utopia. After all, it is a pretty wild proposition.

    Obama, on the other hand, has no moral underpinning except his ideology of Evil American Imperialism and feels camouflaging the reality of his goal (Where I come from, we call it lying.) is an acceptable sacrifice to achieve what he believes is his mission in life.

  • Ron Kean

    To determine if he’s Jewish, we need his long form birth certificate to check out who his real mother is.