John Kennedy Would Be a Conservative Today

I harbor no doubts that Kennedy would have joined me here on the right if he had lived. Liberals will read that sentence and conclude that if it’s true, it’s only because he would be 93 years old, and they would attribute it to dementia. But Kennedy, unlike, say, Hubert Humphrey wasn’t a knee-jerk left-winger. He was anti-Communist, he favored a strong military and he believed in lower taxes.

Kennedy, in arguing for lower taxes, observed that a rising tide lifts all boats. Of course if you mention rising tides to liberals, they all panic, assuming it’s that darn global warming melting the icebergs, and, like a flock of Chicken Littles, they begin to feel the ocean lapping at their ankles.

Unlike the Democrats today, Kennedy never pretended he was poor or even middle class; he let us know he was upper crust. And if you doubted it for a second, he’d put Jackie on display with her very expensive designer fashions. Today, kazillionaire politicians like Boxer, Feinstein, Bloomberg, Kerry, Clinton, and even a schmuck named Rockefeller, want us to believe they’re just a bunch of regular folks who carry their lunch in a paper bag and shop at WalMart.

Speaking of rich people, I saw a list recently that listed the dead people who had made the most money during the past year. Michael Jackson pulled down $250 million; Elvis Presley, $60 million; Charles (“Peanuts”) Shultz, $33 million; and Stieg Larsson, the Swedish novelist, $15 million. I assume the only thing that kept Harry Reid off the list was that he took in less than $15 million.

But it’s not just the very wealthy libs that Kennedy would despise. He would also be embarrassed by a horse’s patootie named Jim Moran, who, while running for Congress in Virginia, opined that he didn’t regard military duty as a public service. The reason he said such a stupid thing was because his opponent, Patrick Murray, a retired colonel, had served 24 years in the U.S. Army. If Col. Murray had not had a military background, I’m pretty sure Moran would have chided him for having spent his time working with Virginia charities and officiating at PTA meetings when he should have been defending his country. I suspect we all have a pretty good idea what Jack Kennedy, Navy veteran of World War II, would have said about a punk like Moran.

While I have no way of being certain, I am confident that Kennedy would have shared my low opinion of the community organizer who now sits in the chair he once occupied in the Oval Office. For openers, Kennedy was an athlete who, even with a bad back, knew how to throw a spiral pass. He would have blanched at the sight of Obama throwing out the first pitch at the All Star Game. One can almost hear Kennedy turn to brother Bobby, chuckle, and say, “He throws just like Jackie.”

But, most of all, Kennedy would have been disgusted by the race and class warfare that Obama promotes. I believe Kennedy would have viewed the Obama administration as one long act of revenge and retribution against white Americans.

Just recently, Obama, addressing a rally of leftist lunkheads, said, “We are driving and Republicans can come along, but they have to sit in the back of the car.”

The middle class, he adds, is sitting up front with him. Does that mean that he doesn’t believe there are any Republicans in the middle class? Well, considering the unemployment rate, I’m sure there are a lot fewer than there were before he took office, but surely there must be some.

Also, would a white politician, even a white Democrat, get away with telling a group of Americans they have to sit in the back of the car? Doesn’t that remind people of the bad old days when a certain group of Americans had to sit in the back of the bus?

It also seems ironic that with Obama driving the car, it’s like he’s chauffeuring us Republicans. Not exactly the image he was aiming for. On top of that, if he’s up front and driving and we conservatives are in the back, that leaves the Democrats in what is commonly known as the suicide seat.

Furthermore, Obama shows his true colors when he attacks Arizona, a state with relatively few blacks, and calls on other nations to join him in condemning it for human rights violations; and when he directs his attorney general not to prosecute cases in which blacks intimidate white voters; and when he says that the problem with the Constitution and even the Civil Rights Movement was that they didn’t deal with the redistribution of wealth; and when he continues to misquote the Pledge of Allegiance and the Declaration of Independence, so as not to mention “under God” or “our Creator.”

Isn’t it the least bit odd that he wants to go to war with Arizona, and yet join with Ahmadinejad in a chorus of “Kumbaya”? I’m almost positive that John Kennedy would have thought so. In fact, if he’d lived to see this day, I am confident he would have said, “This jerk is even a worse president than Teddy would have been.”

Which leaves us with just one last question: (a) Is Obama simply incompetent or does he really hate America? (b) Is he a Socialist? (c) Is he a racist? (d) Is he an arrogant nincompoop? (e) All of the above?

©2010 Burt Prelutsky
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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • Tony Anzalone

    Pure idiocy

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  • gerryinalbany

    I had often thought the same about JFK- but I saw a qoute once “despite the tosseld hair,there’s a marxist underneath” Ronald Reagan in a letter to Barry Goldwater.-just sayin

    And by all means- e) all of the above

  • JDO

    I’m pretty sure that, instead of encouraging NASA to go to the moon, President Kennedy really wanted them to reach out to the Muslim world and make them feel better about themselves. He probably just read his teleprompters incorrectly.

  • CCNV

    Do you think Kennedy would gag at this fiasco? To hell with the economy and other urgent matters. The priority for Florida Rep. Frederica Wilson is to overturn a long-standing rule that does not allow hats…I repeat…HATS…to be worn on the house floor. Have you gotten a look at this ‘winner’ and her hats? Dear God, is there a politician anywhere who cares about this country?

  • joedee1969
  • Jan

    All of the above, unfortunately! Right, as usual, Mr Goldberg.

  • stmichrick

    I mentioned these same insights to an acquaintance a couple years ago when she felt “JFK was being channelled” to her ” by “Barack Obama.” She blanched.

    I often wonder though, if JFK had lived longer, would he have fallen in line with modern Democrats? Would Martin Luther King Jr. have resisted the excesses and shakedowns of the modern civil rights industry?

    We’ll never know.