Leveling With Republicans

Even though the next presidential election is still more than 500 days away, it’s never too soon to be prepared. After all, Obama hasn’t stopped campaigning since Election Day, 2008.

To begin with, and let me be very clear about this, no third party candidate, no matter how sincere or how well-funded — whether the party calls itself Libertarian, Constitution, Tea Party, Bull Moose or Whig — is ever going to win a national election. All a third party candidate will do is ensure that a liberal will be able to win with just 40-45% of the vote.

Also, anyone who is too pure in heart to vote for the Republican nominee, whoever it turns out to be, doesn’t then get to say, “Well, at least I had nothing to do with re-electing Barack Obama.” If you don’t vote for, as some folks like to say, the lesser of two evils, you will have a lot to do with electing the greater menace.

It is high time that Republicans grew up. The reality is that politics isn’t a game for kind hearts and gentle spirits; it’s a blood sport with everything from war to energy policy to tax rates riding on the outcome. Therefore, it verges on the insane when conservatives demean the less conservative as Republicans in Name Only (RINOS). Whether out of true conviction or mere geography, not everyone in America is going to be as conservative as you might like, but in the real world a RINO is better than a liberal. So, as off-putting as they can sometimes be, people like Scott Brown, Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe, are preferable to Harry Reid, Barbara Boxer and Charles Schumer. I, for one, will always prefer a senator who votes the way I like 50% of the time or even 10% of the time to someone who carries Obama’s water 24/7. And, to be fair, in liberal states such as Maine and Massachusetts, states that Obama won with over 54% of the vote in 2008, we’re lucky to have three senators willing to appear in public with a big, fat (R) target on their backs.

I also can’t help noticing that Democrats never make it a practice to insult any of their supporters by calling them DINOS.

George W. Bush was not my ideal, but I will forever be grateful that he kept Gore and Kerry out of the Oval Office and, moreover, appointed Roberts and Alito to the Supreme Court. Not too shabby for a RINO.

Next, in the coming months, I would hope that the various paranoiacs in our midst would refrain from predicting that martial law will be instituted and that Obama will see to it that the 2012 election never takes place. The first time I recall hearing this nonsense, Clinton was president. Then it began all over again, this time instigated by leftists when G.W. Bush was in office. Now, once again, it’s Republicans parroting this rubbish. I’m happy to report that when the 2008 election went off on schedule, I actually won $10 from a born sucker I happen to know. But I’d gladly forego the easy money if we could just get through the next election without having to put up with this childish flapdoodle.

Something else I’d like to avoid are those people who think themselves so smart and sophisticated when they insist that there’s no difference between Republicans and Democrats. Oh, really? Republicans want a balanced budget and a greatly reduced national deficit, the Democrats want to fund cowboy poetry festivals, trains to nowhere and, lest we forget, tunnels for turtles, with our tax dollars.

Moreover, while the Democrats pushed for the trillion dollar stimulus, Government Motors, ObamaCare, Cap and Trade, a moratorium on offshore drilling, card checks, and tax dollars for ACORN, the NEA and Planned Parenthood’s abortion mills, the greatly out-numbered Republicans kept pushing back. So just exactly how are they alike? They all put on their shoes one at a time?

Let us not forget that it was the Democrats who were vandalizing Madison, Wisconsin, and trashing the rule of law, on behalf of the goons and oafs in the public sector unions, while such Republican stalwarts as Scott Walker, John Kasich, Chris Christie and Mitch Daniels, were fighting for sanity and sound fiscal policies.

Do you think Republicans agree with Obama’s National Labor Relations Board that Boeing doesn’t have the right to build its new 787 Dreamliner factory in South Carolina, a right to work state, simply because the International Association of Machinists want it built in the state of Washington? Washington, is also the place where the machinists union has struck Boeing four times since 1989, at a cost in lost revenues of $1.8 billion.

Not too long ago, Barack Obama promised to double our exports. Democrats, who are always ready and eager to listen to fairy tales, ballyhooed the fatuous pronouncement and then begged to have Little Red Riding Hood read to them before they’d go to sleep.

Republicans, on the other hand, all knew better. They knew that the only exports Obama has any chance of doubling will be American jobs.

©2011 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write Burt!
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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • James

    1) Since the difference between RINO’s, in general, and a John McCain in particular, with a Democrat is only a pale shade of gray why in the world would I vote for a Democrat? I will NOT reward the Republican party for nominating Democrats. It is unacceptable.
    2) Since DINO’s are extinct it’s a mute point to pretend they exist.

  • http://mediamatters.org/ Wil Burns

    What it boils down Burt, is this: the liberals dragged you Republicans into the 20th century scratching and screaming with your heels in the mud, fighting anything that’s progressive, everything that’s made this country great. You Republicans have never understood that the spending power of blue-collar workers, obtained through Democrats and unions, is what really made this country great. You really believe “The Good Life” was obtained from your own endeavors. You cloak your greed in religion and patriotism, railing against any form of tax, never comprehending that these programs have benefited all of us and our country.” How do you people live with yourselves! Vote Republican…Never!

    • Jeffreydan

      And now you’re trying to drag the entire country back into the 19th century, and you WISH it was only scratching & screaming you’re getting now. We kicked your ass in 2010, we will again in 2012, most importantly kicking the top ass out of the WH.

  • robin in fl

    well all i know is if republicans were to nominate newt ginrich as their choice ,i would NEVER vote for him! i would just as soon write in my dogs name as my choice before i would vote for him!

    • CCNV

      I feel the same way about Romney. Yuk!

  • Shirl

    Look, Republicans are doing everything they possibly can at the moment; given the hand they are holding. I believe they have seen the error of their ways and deserve another chance since they along with most of us see where our country is headed if the current cronies keep control. I for one will keep cheering them on; watching daily on c-span the nonsense they are dealing with on the other side. It’s truly unbelievable how the democrats lie and mis-lead the people everyday or keep trying to divert the viewers attention to substantive offers of solutions being presented by the Republicans.

    • http://mediamatters.org/ Wil Burns

      Together, the Bush tax cuts — and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan — account for a huge chunk of current and projected public debt.

      Relatedly, it’s amazing how much of this has evaded public conversation over debts and deficits. With few exceptions, Republican scaremongering on the debt has come from lawmakers who wholeheartedly supported the offending policies. Both Paul Ryan and John Boehner voted for the Bush tax cuts, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, Medicare Part D and deregulatory policies that contributed to the financial collapse. As director of OMB under President Bush, not only was Mitch Daniels chief advocate for the president’s tax cuts, but he consistently lowballed the cost of the Iraq War, promising a $60 billion adventure instead of a trillion dollar quagmire. And now, we’re treated to a host of Republican proposals that promise to increase debt over the next decade, cut taxes for the wealthy, and reduce the social safety net to tatters.

  • Jan Millen

    Burt, Until we have the guts to vote for someone other than a Republican or a Democrat, we will always be given the same choices they want to impose on us. I just don’t believe any of them care about the the middle of the road constituents any longer. If the Republicans keep jerking us around like the Democrats, we’re doomed any way. I understand the 40-45% winner thing, but if we can get it to 35%. maybe, just maybe, the two hot dog parties will start to understand.

  • Konrad Lau

    Indeed, claims of Obama proclaiming martial law are “childish flapdoodle”. I had never heard the term before today but readily accept the meaning of flapdoodle aptly fits. How embarrassing to be registered Republican and hear this sort of clap trap (that’s one from my corner of the world) expounded by those claiming political brotherhood.

    In that same vein we could also apply the term flapdoodle to the Democrat “budget”, “energy policy”, “transportation policy”, “tax policy” and “international policy”. It would seem the current administration majors in the manufacture of a particularly strong brand of flapdoodle all its own.

    Where I come from, flapdoodle would be considered a very polite term for that which is commonly found in cow pastures…no, not grass.

  • Clarence De Barrows

    I hear you, Burt, but really, I’m fed up with the whole bunch of them! Have we really reached the point in this Country where we must satisfy ourselves by choosing, as acceptable representatives, one group of obfuscating liars over another group of the same – is that where we’re at?

    • Konrad Lau

      As much as I hate to say it…yes…

      You must take solace in knowing the “marginal” differences between the two parties do have significant, long-term consequences to the survival of our nation.

      Historically, elections in the United States have always presented challanges to idealistic goals.