Liberals Should Be Shunned

I have heard that the creature most likely to survive nuclear wars, a new ice age or even, God forbid, a world dominated by Muslims, is the lowly cockroach. If that’s true, I think the cockroach’s human equivalent, the lowly liberal can draw some comfort from that fact.

Those of you who think I am being unfair to socialists, communists, progressives or whatever else leftists are calling themselves this week, will have to point out where I’m going wrong. After all, like cockroaches, liberals spread disease, believe they’re entitled to food and shelter that they’ve neither produced nor paid for and, rather than try to debate issues, prefer, when confronted, to scurry off and hide in dark and scary places, such as MSNBC, faculty lounges and the editorial offices at the New York Times.

One only has to look at their leaders to know them for what they are. Consider that Joe Biden, in announcing his support of same-sex marriages, paid tribute to the sitcom, Will and Grace, for the role it played in making homosexuality palatable for millions of Americans. At the same time, Obama is promoting his presidency by showing how much a fictional character named Julia depends on him. And yet when Dan Quayle referred to the influence that unwed mother Murphy Brown would have on impressionable teenage girls, the liberal establishment lampooned him as a buffoon who couldn’t tell the difference between a real person and a TV character portrayed by Candice Bergen.

But, as we all know, liberals are always insisting that their politicians are brilliant. They inevitably concoct surrealistic IQ numbers for people like Obama, Clinton and Jimmy Carter, that suggest that they would have cured cancer, converted water into gasoline and disproved the Theory of Relativity, if only they hadn’t had bigger fish to fry. Proof that liberals are ignoramuses is that they ballyhoo socialism, a system that not only rewards sloth and mediocrity, but generally results in bloody regimes that enslave their citizens, while demeaning capitalism, a system that rewards intelligence and initiative, and promotes freedom and liberty.

Also, like Muslims, liberals lie and encourage other liberals to lie on their behalf. For instance, Barack Obama, while pontificating about same-sex marriages, recently said, “When I go to college campuses, sometimes I talk to college Republicans who think that I have terrible policies on the economy and foreign policy, but they believe in sex equality.” The truth is, Obama never speaks to college Republicans, and he makes damn sure they don’t get to speak to him by banishing them from his staged events. Hell, this phony populist doesn’t even talk to congressional Republicans.

Speaking of the man destined to be a one-termer, how is it that he has enough energy to bound up and down steps, proving time and again just how light in the loafers he really is, but he can’t quite make it through an entire sentence without pausing two or three times?

Although I was never a big fan of Tom Brokaw when he was anchoring the nightly news, I had to tip my hat when he announced that he would never again attend a White House Correspondents Association Dinner. When it came to attending these overhyped gala events, he felt like those natives who refuse to have their photographs taken, fearing it might cost them their very souls.

After looking at coverage of the recent event, which was emceed by Jimmy Kimmel, I understood what he meant. I saw photo after photo that made my skin crawl. There was Wolf Blitzer posing with Eva Longoria, Leon Panetta huddled with Al Sharpton, Piers Morgan and Goldie Hawn, Valerie Jarrett and MSNBC president Phil Griffin. Also in attendance were the likes of Arianna Huffington, Barbara Walters, Woody Harrelson, George Clooney, Eliot Spitzer and, for good measure, behind the bar, pouring shots, Rachel Maddow.

Having also seen some of the show on TV, I’d say it was a lot like watching the Academy Awards, except for the absence of good-looking women.

Speaking of which, Massachusetts Senate candidate and Harvard law professor, Elizabeth Warren, has insisted for years that she is entitled to profit from affirmative action because she is 1/32nd Cherokee. This has led to several good-natured japes, generally consisting of guessing her Indian name. I have ventured it might be Lies Like a Blanket, Dances With Liberals or possibly Speaks Heap Big Hokum.

But who can really blame her when places like Harvard reward diversity of race and color, while eliminating diversity of thought and opinion. Let a conservative be invited to speak on 95% of the colleges and universities in America, and you can count on the professors joining with their young charges in drowning them out. The very places that pride themselves on being the sanctuary of free speech and unpopular ideas are as intolerant as Cotton Mather and as vicious as Brown Shirts. Let a conservative appear in their hallowed presence, and judging by the cackling, you’d think a coop of hens had suddenly been confronted by Br’er Fox.

Finally, in the spirit of bi-partisanship, I’d like to suggest that we stop spending millions of tax dollars providing ex-presidents (at present we have two from each party) with offices, free phone service and Secret Service protection. Without arguing over whether Carter, Clinton and the two Bushes, actually deserve such largesse, they simply don’t need it. Thanks to multi-million dollar book deals and six-figure speaking fees, being an ex-president is the equivalent of winning the Mega Millions lottery without even having to buy a ticket.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write!

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t pay a dime for the dozen or so articles I post every month. In case you’re feeling guilty, this is your chance at absolution by sending cash, check or money order to Burt Prelutsky, 16604 Dearborn Street, North Hills, CA 91343-3604. Your donation will serve as your entry in a drawing to receive an autographed copy of Liberals: America’s Termites.

Get your personally autographed copy of Liberals: America’s Termites or Portraits of Success for just $19.95, postpaid. Get both for just $39.90. Liberals: America’s Termites Profiles of Success (60 candid conversations with 60 Over-Achievers)

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • BurtPrelutsky

    Royalsfan:  I beg to differ.  Goldie Hawn used to be good-looking, just as  I used to have hair.
    As for Maddow’s stint behind the bar, I’m at a loss.  But perhaps she’s preparing for her future career once someone finally pulls the plug on MSNBC, TV’s version of radio’s Air America.


  • Royalsfan67

    I have to disagree with one thing Burt, Goldie Hawn is exceptionally good looking. Everyone else you named? Pretty much dead on. And Rachell Maddow was bartending? Why would they have a guy bartending when a woman would get far more tips.

  • BurtPrelutsky

    Cyberquill: I suppose I should thank you for calling attention to my book, “Liberals: America’s Termites.”  I am a humor columnist, so I don’t know what you’re complaining about.  Do you raise the same objections when David Letterman, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart and Michael Moore, all ward off objections to their spiteful remarks about Sarah Palin, Mitt Romney, Republicans, Michele Bachmann and the Tea Party movement, by claiming to be comedians? No, I didn’t think so.  At least I stand behind what I write and don’t try to use the cop-outs so common to liberals, including their favorite: “I msspoke.”

    GlenFS: For more information on my books, I’ll direct you to


    • GlenFS

      Burt,  for a shameless self-promoting propagandist you are amazingly low profile about it.  Thanks for the link.  I look forward to the read!

  • Cyberquill

    We actually have exterminators to wipe out the lowly roaches. Is that where you’d draw the line in your analogy, or did you simply forget to add “like cockroaches … [liberals] ought to be killed” in your list of liberal/roach similarities? 

    Comparing undesirable societal elements to rats and other vermin is a tactic right out of the old Nazi propaganda playbook, and I’m not sure hiding behind the term “humor columnist” suffices to vindicate this type of rhetoric. 

    • GlenFS

      Cyber,  YOU are the one who’s suggesting killing.  Not fair to put words in other people’s mouth, then play the Nazi card.  You’re entitled to your opinions, just allow others theirs without your own editing.

      • JohnInMA

        @GlenFS:disqus  @Cyberquill:disqus  As so often happens on blogs, Cyberquill most likely enters threads for reasons of self-promotion.  Making charged or controversial statements is a common tactic.  Don’t expect much rationed logic.

        • Cyberquill

          Of course. Needless to say, the author of this post—first likening liberals to roaches, and then trying to hawk autographed copies of his books—is not making charged or controversial statements for reasons of self-promotion. 

          • GlenFS

            Am not aware of any books being hawked by the author of this blog.  If there were, I’d want one.

          • Cyberquill

            There are, and you can have two for just $39.90.

          • GlenFS

            Thanks so much, Cyber.  Seems you’re a better promoter than Mr. Prelutsky.  I have ordered “Liberals: Americas Termites”.  Be glad to share it with you when I’m done.

      • Cyberquill

        The Nazis, in their propaganda, didn’t suggest killing anybody either. They just played footage of rats overdubbed with unflattering commentary about certain groups of people, leaving it up to the audience to draw their own conclusions.

        • GlenFS

          1) Opinion is not propaganda
          2) It’s absurd to say Burt is suggesting we literally exterminate   people as we would roaches
          3) We should always draw our own conclusions

  • cmacrider

    Burt: Your said ”
     Let a conservative be invited to speak on 95% of the colleges and universities in America, and you can count on the professors joining with their young charges in drowning them out. ”  Should not that read”95% of the colleges and universities in [North] America”  ????  Speaking  about my country, it now seems that Royal Roads Military College was the epitome  of enlightened thought and academic freedom compared with our present institutions.  

  • BurtPrelutsky

    Democrats are always making up IQ numbers to show that their presidents are all geniuses and Republicans are all cretins.  The problem is that even if the results weren’t all fictional, it wouldn’t matter because IQ is no proper measure of the man.  Wisdom, character and common sense, simply can’t be translated into numbers.


  • GlenFS

    If  Democratic presidents are as smart as the media and leftist culture insists, then I must conclude that IQ has an inversely proportional relationship to success in the role.   I suggest they work on curing cancer. At least it would keep them busy, though probably not productively.

    I don’t have the means to judge their intelligence, but I can sure see that anyone with a liberal philosophy is seriously lacking in some common sense quotient.

  • BurtPrelutsky

    JohnInMa: I thought I had come up with a good many reasons why progressives should be shunned. 

    And, yes, I do recall the debates between Buckley and Vidal.  I guess I didn’t find them as engaging as you did.  Buckley was a brilliant fellow, but he had a tendency to use words based entirely on their multitude of syllables.  He also had a disconcerting habit of tapping his pencil on his teeth, leaving me to wonder if he had an actual tune in mind.  Vidal was just another left-wing poof who never brought much to any discussion aside from a hint of bile and lavender.


  • Nancye

    Liberals should be exterminated like cockroaches and get the rest of us out of our misery!!!

  • JohnInMA

    Good article.  But for some odd reason the title had me expecting you were going to tell us why readers should treat progressives the same way they treat everyone else who disagrees.  For me, at least, the greatest shift in Democrat politics in my lifetime has been from liberal and engaging to progressive and totalitarian.  For example, I can remember lively debate between William F. Buckley and a number of liberals in heated and sometimes repeated debates.  Anyone recall sessions with Gore Vidal?  

    The best example of how that ideology has eroded (and devolved) comes from the Center for American Progress.  Over the past year, without exception, whomever they have selected to put on national TV has not engaged in debate, rather simply used sophomoric techniques of name calling and derision to counter the opposing view in a range to topics.  At least the four or five events I have seen.  It would not pass a high school-level debate……well, at least ones from my years in high school……..perhaps now those are accepted techniques.

    • cmacrider

      JohnInMA:  You have just pinpointed one of the most disconcerting trends of our time.  Thank you

  • Roxiebell

    ^5 Burt another great article.

  • Michael

    The fact that Leon Panetta was “huddled” with a lying, race-baiting dirtbag like Sharpton is a downright disgrace.  Sharpton is not worthy of cleaning the toilets in the barracks of a bunch of basic trainees, much less hang out with the Secretary of Defense. 

    That dinner seemed to be nothing more than the nation’s largest collection of freaks outside San Francisco.  What a joke.