Musings About Muslims and Obama’s Body Parts

It’s hard not to appreciate the irony of the man who promised that with his election, the rise of the oceans would begin to slow and the planet would begin to heal having to cut his vacation short because of Hurricane Irene. Apparently Mother Nature doesn’t like this guy any more than I do.

It occurred to me that between them, George Bush and Barack Obama have spent most of the past decade telling us what a great religion Islam is. They’ve gone at it like a pair of competing televangelists. All it took was for Muslims to top off 20 years of taking Americans hostage, bombing our embassies, leveling our Marine barracks, blowing up our ships, and killing thousands of us in New York, Iraq and Afghanistan, to make Islam the religion du jour. What makes this especially odd is that in the prior 200 years of our history, no president felt even slightly inclined to pay these folks a single tribute, no matter how insincere.

It makes me think that if an American Muslim soldier made his bed, cleaned his plate and refrained from killing anyone in his unit for, say, two consecutive months, Obama would probably see to it that he received the Congressional Medal of Honor.

Speaking of he who should be permanently unemployed, Obama told Syria’s Bashar Assad to resign for the sake of his brutally oppressed people. Rumor has it that Assad replied, “Look who’s talking.”

It turns out that Warren Buffet, who’s been yammering for the wealthy to pay more taxes, runs a company that’s been in arrears to the IRS since 2002. It’s just one more example of liberals insisting that people do as they say, not as they do. I find it almost as amusing as Nancy Pelosi’s constant attacks on wealthy Americans. Inasmuch as the woman is worth upwards of $35 million, you have to wonder what a psychiatrist would make of her incessant ravings.

Someone recently told me that it was Rush Limbaugh who first observed that politics is show business for ugly people. It’s a wonderfully perceptive line. The only problem is that it immediately put me in mind of Henry Waxman, Mr. Show Biz himself. Imagine if he and Pelosi had married and had a child. Go ahead — imagine it, and then just try to get to sleep tonight.

I find it fascinating that it’s always the presidential candidates who have the least chance of winning an election whose fans are the biggest, most annoying, zealots. In 1948, it was Henry Wallace, a Communist, who had the most excitable followers. In 1968, it was George Wallace. In other years, it’s been Eugene McCarthy, John Anderson, Ross Perot, Ralph Nader and even Harry Browne. In the past and again this year, it’s the sometime Libertarian, sometime Republican, always goofy Ron Paul, the fellow who doesn’t regard a nuclear Iran as any more dangerous than Fiji, whose disciples are the loudest, the rudest and the ones with the loosest grip on reality.

I, personally, don’t take Rep. Paul’s peculiar notions to heart. I merely blame it on his youth.

For the longest time, whenever I’d see Barack Obama on TV, I’d find that I couldn’t take my eyes off his ears. Outside of a National Graphic documentary on bats, I’d never seen ears like that. Then, one day, I noticed his thumbs. It’s as if they have an extra joint or two. His thumbs are longer than some people’s hands. They’re like something out of a sci-fi movie, and they freak me out. The good news is that I am no longer riveted on those ears. The bad news is that I can’t help wondering what his toes are like.

Finally, I recently read that in 1990, we had 76 Army Brigades, and we now have 45. Back then, we had 546 Navy ships; at last count, we had 288. We had 82 Air Force fighter squadrons, and we now have less than half that number. We now have 154 strategic bombers, reduced from 360. That’s pretty scary. It suggests that the last three presidents all decided that the world has become a far safer place over the intervening 21 years, and that is even scarier.

As if it’s not bad enough that, in the name of social engineering and political correctness, we’ve repealed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” it appears that all those cuts resulted in Uncle Sam’s having undergone a sex change operation, and will henceforth be referred to as Aunt Samantha.


©2011 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write Burt!
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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website: http://www.burtprelutsky.com/
  • Vince Ricardo

    Hey, our President has big ears. They’re there. They’re huge. They’re not lyin’ against the side of his head, and so they look even more prominent than if they were against it. Whatcha gonna do? I recall that caricatures of President Bush (43) also tended to focus on his ears. Political Cartoonists gotta have SOMEthing to emphasize. Political Cartoonists gotta eat.

  • phlymgrym

    Truly a political marriage to produce awful mental images! As to Obama’s thumbs, I just wish he’d remove them from their chokehold on our economic collective throat.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Mike McCobin: You must be new to my writings. I do not subscribe to political correctness. I write plenty about the issues, but that is not going to prevent me from commenting on the appearance of liberals and anything else I can glom onto in order to ridicule them. I understand if it offends you, but I hope you’ll understand if I pay your concerns no mind.

    Regards, Burt

  • robin in fl

    great read as always Burt.

    as far as BO goes, I am still waiting for the unicorn and rainbow i thought we all were promised once he got elected. :)

    I always have hated resorting to making fun of anyone’s looks, but i also was very guilty of staring at BO’s ears when he spoke. I always felt kinda’ bad about doing that because i missed most of what he was reading, I mean speaking about..kinda’ like when i watch a Gerard Butler movie and have to watch it a second time because all i was doing was ‘ogling” him the first time i watched it( as i did in the movie 300)…yes i can be distracted at times because of appearance and sometimes for much different reasons. :(

    as far as Pelosi goes, I really have no idea what that woman is feeling since her face is in a permanent ‘freeze’ state…DAMN that Botox!

    and last but not least ,as bad as it sounds, I just can’t tell a good muslim from a bad one anymore because they seem to look just alike, I can’t recall any other group of people that had people so afraid to call them out for the bad things they do or make a joke about anything re: them, because it may offend them and either they would threaten to cut your tongue out, chop your head off, or any other atrocity they can think of to do…

  • Bruce A.

    Another good one Burt. However you failed to mention that with the election of Obama, gasoline would become dirt cheap & the sun would also shine brighter in the sky.

  • Shirl

    Wonder why only a hand full of Muslims have come forward to denounce the radicals and hate-mongers of their religion? Sure doesn’t make Americans feel at ease. All the political correctness has been proven to be dangerous and deadly, so the politicians and media need to knock it off. Oh yeah, Burt, we used to tease my cousin that he looked like a taxi-cab going down the street with the doors open. I sure hope the Tea party reps keep up the pressure for doing the right thing. That’s why we sent them there; and doing what is right for the country has really got the progressive liberal nuts in a tizzy. BoBo and the bunch will eventually do themselves in; especially with his incessant campaigning nonsense.

  • TOMMY FREEDOM

    HEY BERNIE, OBAMAS POPULARITY POLL IS SO LOW,

    ALL THE MUSLIMS ARE SWEARING HES A CHRISTIAN

  • Iklwa

    Pelosi + Waxman = uggggh!

    What claptrap could the product of a union like that spew in twenty years?

    I repeat…uggggh!

    As to the Fearless Leader’s physical attributes: I find him moderately attractive…for a man…as long as he keeps his mouth closed.

    There was once a time that the mere hearing the dread voice of Hillary Clinton was enough to put me into conniption fits of disgust. I thought for many years she could never be toppled from her lofty position atop the throne of Most Reviled One; however, somewhere around the 200th speech made by President Obama (back in July of 2009) I found to my utter surprise Madam Secretary Clinton had been toppled from her perch.

    I must admit I approve of what Sara Palin says but do not like her voice and I can now actually sustain multiple minutes of either Clinton’s speaking.

    However, the combination of inane rhetoric, class warfare, socialist ideology and name calling with the near lisping drawn-out words ending in “s” s make listening to our President impossible for me any longer. You have yet to see a lazy man move so fast for the “OFF” button whenever he graces the TV or radio and begins to speak.

    Uggggh!

  • Mike McCobin

    The comments about physical appearance are gratuitious, unnecessary and demean the discussion of these clowns who, if they were even aware of Mises, would “hate “Meeses to pieces,” reflecting the sophistication of Hanna-Barbera. Don’t lower yourself to their level (and by the way, Rush’s comments notwithstanding, Bill Cosby was right in his observation that “the ugly people know who they are [and don’t need to be reminded abuot it. At least with respect to physical appearances.

  • Nancye

    In 1992 when Bush,The First, Bill Clinton, and Ross Perot all ran for president, my daughter-in-law was up to her neck in support for Ross Perot. When he dropped out, I asked her how she felt. She replied, “RELIEVED”!!!

    I’ll be relieved when some of these present-day candidates drop out. And the sooner the better.

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