The Problem With Being a Republican, Bonus: Connecting the Dolts

There are times when I can’t help wishing I were a Democrat. It certainly would have helped my writing career. I mean, look at the folks who make a handsome living for no other reason than that they’re liberals. I’m not even referring to politicians. Obviously, the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Maxine Waters, Sheila Jackson Lee, Henry Waxman and Barbara Boxer, would be begging at freeway off-ramps and sleeping under bridges in a logical world. But I’m talking about all those others.

For instance, look at the folks who become liberal icons. There are the folks, like Bill Maher and Kathy Griffin, who get to pass themselves off as comedians by merely making crass remarks about people such as George Bush and Sarah Palin.

Then there are those, such as Sandra Fluke, Texas State Senator Wendy Davis and Lena Dunham, who have achieved heroine status by arguing that colleges should provide their students with free contraception, that abortions should be legal long after the five month deadline has come and gone, and produced a 2012 political ad that suggested that voting for Obama was the same as having sex for the first time. And Ms. Dunham was not suggesting that it might be both painful and embarrassing.

On the other hand, here am I, even after six books and nearly 1300 articles making the case for conservatism, but Rush Limbaugh has never heard of me, Drudge doesn’t include my blog with the 500 others he finds space to promote at his Report and even after spending months trying every which way I could to offer my writing services to the Romney campaign, I never even received a rejection.

What’s more, I have never been invited on Fox. Heck, if I were a liberal, I would probably have my own show on MSNBC and get to hang out with Chris Matthews, Rachel Maddow and Al Sharpton. Okay, I grant there are worse things in life than flying below the radar.

Speaking of those who lie for a living, I keep hearing that Iran’s new president, Hassan Rhumani, is waging a charm offensive. Amazing what some people regard as charm. This is the same guy who bragged that Iran was able to con the West while continuing to enrich uranium while racing to manufacture a nuclear bomb. Now we have Assad and Putin playing us for a sucker two years after the pretender in the White House swore that Assad’s days were numbered. What he didn’t disclose, now that I think of it, was the number he had in mind.

You have to give these schmucks a certain amount of credit. After all, it can’t be as easy as it looks for Rhumani to say that Iran is an anchor of stability in the Middle East with a straight face. I’m guessing he’s been perfecting his act by watching tapes of Jay Carney.

In one of those examples of divine justice, a Sikh doctor who lives and works in Harlem, was attacked by a gang of black teenagers who broke his jaw and knocked out several of his teeth, all the while calling him “Osama.” He is known, but apparently not to everyone, as a man who has spoken and written extensively about white racism.

A reader of mine, Bill Rosenfeld, has observed that “Instead of capitalism, what we have under Obama is capitolism.”

Finally, this administration is so awful, they even have to lie when it comes to merely naming their legislation. For instance, take the Affordable Care Act. Please. As more and more people are discovering, their health insurance costs are doubling and even tripling. As for Obama’s promise that people who are happy with their insurance plans could keep them, April 1st came early.

What I’d like to know is why unions that are never shy about demonstrating their resentment — remember their trashing the state capital when Gov. Scott Walker and the legislature voted to cut collective bargaining rights for Wisconsin’s public sector union members? — but when Obama nixes the Keystone pipeline, costing thousands of union jobs, and pushes ObamaCare, which is playing havoc with the traditional 40-hour work week, they don’t even set up picket lines outside the White House.

What a bunch of partisan pansies! Can you imagine their rolling over this way if a Republican was pulling this stuff?

Jimmy Hoffa, Sr., must be spinning in his grave, wherever that happens to be, when he sees what a doofus little Jimmy, Jr., has turned out to be.


Connecting the Dolts

Charles Dickens famously opened “A Tale of Two Cities” with “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.”  If I were writing an updated version, I would announce it is the worst of times.  Wherever you turn, you are confronted by journalists, politicians and just plain folks, who make you ashamed to be a member of the same species.

These days, America is divided between the useful idiots who believe everything they read in the NY Times or hear from Obama and the useless idiots they elect to fill the seats in the House and Senate.

Primary schools used to be places of learning not only one’s ABCs, but what it means to be an American and the debt we all owe to guys named Washington, Jefferson, Adams and Hamilton.  But ever since the liberals took control of the teachers unions, and the unions gained control of the schools, they’ve been turned into laboratories of social engineering where everything from busing children across town to schools miles away from home to so-called sex education classes are conducted on the little guinea pigs.

On top of all that, the government has decided it’s their job to provide the kids with breakfast, lunch and, in some cases, even dinner.  It doesn’t really take a village to raise a child; it only takes Marxists like Bill and Hillary to say it does, although you notice they didn’t allow Chelsea to be raised by some damn village.

Others have pointed out that we are all supposed to experience moral outrage because al-Assad used sarin gas to kill 1,400 Syrians, which for some reason was supposed to trump the 120,000 who had died through such conventional means as bullets and bombs.  Others have pointed out that although 300 of the victims were children, many of the same bunch that want us to involve ourselves in a civil war involving Muslims have no problem with Planned Parenthood performing 300,000 abortions every year.

Speaking of which, I expect that someday a murderer is going to stand up in court and say in his own defense, “Of course I killed him, but that was my choice.”  If he has the right jury – say 12 women from NOW – he just might beat the rap.

We keep hearing George Santayana’s line — the one about people not learning from history being doomed to repeat it — being tossed around.  Possibly because I have studied history, I never thought very much of the quip.  What history really tells us is that most people never learn anything.  As for those of us who do, we tend to be powerless against the greedy and ignorant mob because of their sheer numbers.

I also thought it was the height of hypocrisy for Lincoln to say that God must have loved the common man because he made so many of them.  But I suppose when one is seeking to win an election, it doesn’t hurt to butter up the typical voter.  I just don’t think it’s fair to blame God for all the ignoramuses.

If you want to get a clear picture of the common man, you only have to look at how hard the Democrats have to work to get those folks to vote on Election Day.  They have to do everything but get their lazy butts out of bed and give them piggyback rides down to the polling place.  The Democrats pretend that it’s the lack of photo IDs that keep the riffraff from voting.  But even when the louts are provided with food, housing and free cell phones, in return for their votes, the majority choose to stay home and watch re-runs of “Good Times.”

It used to be my feeling that if you only got to know people as individuals, you would always find a better reason to despise them than their race, religion or odd sexual proclivity.  But these days, so many blacks, Muslims and homosexuals, have adopted a position of moral superiority combined with an insufferable sense of entitlement, I no longer feel that way.

In case you missed it, because a bakery in Gresham, Oregon, refused to bake a cake celebrating a lesbian marriage, its owner, Aaron Klein, has been forced to close its doors.  Not only were the members of the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) community, a group that the creatures congregated at the bar in “Star Wars” would find bizarre, demonstrating outside the shop, but they were threatening to kill him and his kids.  They also threatened repercussions to the local florists and wedding planners if they continued to work with Mr. Klein.  Naturally, Oregon’s Bureau of Labor and Industries, having nothing better to do, threatened to launch an investigation.  Not into the criminal actions of the sexual freaks, but into Mr. Klein’s refusal to ignore his religious convictions.

The irony is that the place was called Sweet Cakes by Melissa, which sounds like a place that would appeal to the LGBT crowd.  Come to think of it, perhaps they were attracted by the name in the first place, and then felt betrayed in a way they wouldn’t have been if Mr. Klein had simply called it Klein’s Bakery.

Finally, consider the fallout from ObamaCare.  Although no groups outside Obama’s inner circle fought harder to get it passed, today the Catholic Church, labor unions and Hollywood, are all lined up in opposition.  The Church discovered that tucked away in the 2,500 pages of the Affordable Care Act were words that demanded it provide contraception to its employees.  The unions discovered that the law would make hash of the traditional 40-hour workweek and encourage employers to stop providing insurance.  As for Hollywood, it found that the law would lead to a loss of thousands of jobs in the industry.

All I can say is that there’s a lot to be said for poetic justice even if it doesn’t always rhyme.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • John Daly

    lol. Did you actually read that column beyond the headline and realize how completely incoherent Newshound’s argument was (nothing new with them by the way)?

    If you actually watch what Hannity said, you’ll see that Newshounds conveniently omitted the sentence in between the two they quoted Hannity, which puts actually puts the statement in the proper context:

    Typical liberal trash, but keep trying, legal eagle. At least the other guy on here was man enough to concede that he made a false claim. You could learn something from him.

  • John Daly

    Only if you cherry-pick the polls:

    Even Jon Stewart felt inclined to apologize to Fox for making the same assertion you just did.

    Chris Wallace addresses the issue nicely in the second half of this video:

    • ElvisWasAHero2Most

      So your conclusion is Fox News bears no responsibility in the misinformation that exists among the electorate, only “liberal” sources such as the New York Times, which has won over 100 Pulitzer Prizes since their inception? We will have to disagree.

  • John Daly

    Ah, so now we’ve changed the argument to Fox “insinuating” that Obama is a Muslim. Gotcha.

    In neither of those video clips is anyone even implying that Obama is a Muslim. Eric Bolling (and believe me, I’m not a Bolling fan) is talking about the president’s fear of insulting those who believe in the Quran. He’s not saying that Obama himself believes in the Quran. The Media Matters writer even concedes that.

    In the Hannity clip, he’s taking offense to the president referring to America, in part, as a “Muslim country”. It’s a petty argument on Hannity’s part, but it is in no way an implication that the president himself is Muslim.

    It’s becoming increasingly clear that the only “evidence” of your assertion comes from left-wing blog sites that are purposely twisting the words of Fox personalities to imply that they’re saying something that they clearly aren’t.

    Got anything else, or are we done?

    • ElvisWasAHero2Most

      Eh, fine. Fox News has never outright said Obama is a Muslim. But you must admit, Fox News regularly brings on people that question the patriotism of the president, question his religion, birth certificate, criticize his middle name, etc. Bottom line, I concede that Fox News anchors haven’t said Obama is a muslim, but they easily allow guests to come on to their shows and call the president muslim… Bill Cunningham, Erik Rush, Donald Trump, as well as other guests from the GOP who spew the same inaccuracies, mentions of Obama being trained in a Madrasa, how can you not think that Fox News plays a large part in the misinformation people have about the president?

      • John Daly

        Thanks for the concession.

        I agree that Fox brings on guests who have done such things, but so have the other news networks – regularly. All of these outlets ask such people on as guests, including Donald Trump, Ann Coulter, because it makes for a lively segment. It doesn’t mean they endorse what they’re saying.

        I believe that all of the media outlets, to some extent, are guilty of misleading the American people, not just about the president but about all kinds of things. What I don’t get is how Fox somehow gets honorable mention. Actually, I DO get it… It’s because they lean right while everyone else leans left. And that’s really what it all comes down to.

        • legal eagle

          It doesn’t matter what the evidence is….as a cult member you cannot ever admit you are wrong for fear of excommunication…

          • John Daly

            lol. You must have been a pretty terrible lawyer, legal eagle. I don’t mean that to be an insult, but come on, this is ridiculous. Did judges ever laugh at you in court?

            Let’s recap:

            1. You lied about Fox News because you hate the network and WANT them to be every bit as nasty as liberals claim they are.

            2. I called you out on your lie, by insisting that you provide proof of the false statement you made.

            3. You refused to, either because you couldn’t find any proof, or because you knew your statement was false in the first place and didn’t want to waste the time.

            4. Because I embarrassed you, you decided to call me a ‘cult member’ for ignoring “proof” that doesn’t even exist.

            This is great. It really is. It explains so much about left-wing hacks like yourself. The truth just doesn’t matter to you. You’ve created your own little world where facts just don’t matter, and you’re blissful to be living in that world, aren’t you Tiger?

          • legal eagle

            I am extremely embarrassed by you….does that make your day?

          • John Daly

            Legal, all I want you to do is stop telling lies. THAT would make my day.

          • legal eagle

            If that ‘s all it takes to make your day all I can say is I will do my best to please you…..It’s Friday and all is well in my world…

          • legal eagle

            I don’t care if the Judge laughs only if the jury does…As to my competence I will leave opinion to my clients….and you are right…I don’t want to waste my time …

  • John Daly

    She was a guest. She doesn’t work for Fox News. EVERY cable news network has featured Birthers as guests (Donald Trump for example). You said that Fox News was telling people that Obama was a Muslim and was from Kenya. Give me some proof of that.

  • Concernedmimi

    As usual, Burt, an excellent analysis of today’s sick and perverse results of liberalism, but unlike your opinion of Iran’s Hassan Rhumani taking lessons from Jay Carney, I believe he was parroting Barack Hussein Obama, seeing how many idiots believe the bs being spewed.

  • ElvisWasAHero2Most

    These days, America is divided between the useful idiots who believe everything they read in the NY Times or hear from Obama and the useless idiots they elect to fill the seats in the House and Senate.

    Can we agree there are many idiots who believe everything on Fox News? Obama is a Muslim, socialist, Kenyan, etc.

    • John Daly

      Who on Fox News reported or even offered commentary suggesting that Obama is a Muslim or a Kenyan? I’ve heard this claim often repeated by people on the left. Yet, as someone watches Fox News fairly regularly, I’ve never heard anyone make such statements.

      • legal eagle

        Who on Fox News? Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity….

        • John Daly

          Give me a quote.

          • legal eagle

            Would you like to pay my paralegal to research it for you?

          • John Daly

            No. I’d like you to back up what you say instead of habitually lying.

          • legal eagle

            You can Google the info…You don’t need me to do it for you….

          • John Daly

            How can I Google something that never happened? Just admit you lied so we can move on.

          • legal eagle

            So because you’re too lazy to do some research you’ll start with the L word again? Do you do any research when you write your column or do you just impart your great insight and intellect into your work?

          • John Daly

            I do research for all of my columns, Meathead. That’s how I avoid putting myself in the position you’re in now.

            Let’s recap: You threw out a bogus claim (presenting it as fact) that you WANTED to be true, having no idea whatsoever if it actually was true. That’s called lying.

            You got called out on it, and now you’re offering up a four-year-old’s defense by claiming that it’s up to someone else to prove that something you made up is indeed not true.

            About cover it?

          • legal eagle

            Your “research” consists of watching a TV show?

          • John Daly

            Nope. Now man-up and admit that you lied.

  • americalsgt

    Burt, you don’t need Drudge or Fox to promote you. Your work will shine through to those who seek the truth. Not that that statement will make you feel any better than my knowing that today is my last day of training my replacement and all I have to look forward to where I work is a pasture, but good things do happen to those who wait and wait and wait and wait. At least that is what I was told in my youth.

    • legal eagle

      Burt doesn’t get recognized…poor guy…Perhaps if he ever had an original though he might…

      • Jeff Webb

        Damn right! He should use some unique, cutting-edge material like Archie Bunker references, “the good old days”, and calling people bitter & white.

        Yep, hard to imagine any of those becoming repetitive or cliche.

        • John Daly


          And it seems that legal’s obsession with Archie Bunker should at least earn him the honorary title of “Meathead.”