Satan’s Little Imps

When I contemplate the damage being done to America, it’s difficult for me to imagine that it’s the work of mere mortals. Surely the Devil must have a hand in it. That notion ties in to my suspicion that Scratch must be working day and night to expand Hell to make room for all the left-wingers who will be taking up residence over the next 30 or 40 years. I suppose, if push comes to shove, he can always rent additional space in Detroit.

Generally, when a boss – be it of a company or a country – is constantly whining that he was unaware of a problem, be it harassment in the work place or, say, the IRS targeting millions of law-abiding Americans, unsafe working conditions in Benghazi or a catastrophic health care plan, he is either, one, lying or, two, surrounded by flunkies, whose main responsibility is to keep him out of the loop. But in Obama’s case, it’s never a case of either one or two; it’s always both.

Now we hear that Obama wasn’t satisfied ensuring his re-election by merely having the IRS acting as an arm, a strong arm, of Team Obama, but used the Census Bureau to cook the unemployment numbers to make it appear just before Election Day that he had managed to lower the rate from 8.1% down to 7.8%. The big surprise is that he didn’t have them lower the rate all the way down to 4.8% or even 2.8%. After all, he had already seen to it that people who stopped looking for jobs or simply signed on for disability weren’t included in the nose count.

Obama recently said, “I’m not stupid enough to go out a week before the launching of the Affordable Care Act website and announce it would work if I knew it wouldn’t.”

That begs the question: Just how stupid are you? Even Bo, the First Dog, knew back in March it would be a disaster because he read the reports you had apparently begun using as poopy pads. Besides, the question of your stupidity is really beside the point. The American people have grown accustomed to having stupid presidents, but being lied to on an hourly basis is a whole new experience.

Jay Carney, Nancy Pelosi and the rest of Obama’s flying monkeys keep telling us that ObamaCare is on track. What they neglect to mention is that another train is also on track, but headed in the opposite direction. The collision will rattle windows as far away as Sri Lanka, but, for Democrats, it will prove even more destructive, come the 2014 elections. For them, it will be a case of déjà vu, as they experience 2010 all over again.

This version of Waterloo must be as big a surprise to Barack Obama as the earlier one was to Napoleon Bonaparte. I mean, after the media had allowed him to skate on Operation Fast & Furious; spying on the AP; slandering Fox reporter James Rosen; using the IRS to beat up conservatives; letting four Americans get butchered in Benghazi and then covering it up in a way that must have made Nixon spin in his grave, while muttering “Why me?” Obama had every reason to believe he could have sodomized little Jay Carney in front of the Washington Press Corps and received a standing ovation.

Obama is not only a cancer, but he has metastasized through the entire Washington establishment. He is the reason that every department feels free to squander millions of tax dollars on frivolous conferences and bonusus for underachieving bureaucrats. Over at Homeland Security, a minor entity named Avo Kimathi, who made $116,000 last year, suggested that “In order for black people to survive the 21st century, we are going to have to kill a lot of white people.”

For openers, nobody named Avo Kimathi should be working for the federal government. For another thing, four months after he shared this revelation, he was still on salary. His punishment consisted of being placed on leave, which only meant he didn’t have to punch a clock to collect that $39,000. In the meantime, the agency claims to be investigating the matter. This is the same administration that claims to still be investigating Benghazi well over a year after a Muslim mob slaughtered Ambassador Chris Stevens, Sean Smith, Glen Doherty and Tyrone Woods, with nary a suspect in custody.

Closer to home, Obama presented Oprah Winfrey with the Medal of Freedom just a week or so after she called older Americans racists who “just have to die,” ignoring the fact that most of the racists in this country look a lot more like her than they do like me. Besides being nasty and racist, her remark displayed a monumental lack of gratitude. It was mainly those older white ladies, after all, who made her TV chat show such a rousing success and made her a billionaire.

I know I’m just dreaming, but wouldn’t it be refreshing if black liberals like Ms. Winfrey, Danny Glover, Samuel Jackson and Harry Belafonte, would confront white liberals who demean black conservatives like Clarence Thomas, Thomas Sowell, Allen West, Walter Williams, Tim Scott, Ward Connerly and Condoleezza Rice? But I suppose that’s as much a pipe dream as expecting Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson to condemn black punks for robbing, raping and attacking whites.

It recently occurred to me that the way his approval numbers have tanked, Barack Obama should sign up for Life Alert because he’s fallen and he can’t get up. On the other hand, the schmuck has become so accustomed to lying, we might as well just leave him there to rot.

Finally, referring to the 2009 furor over her wearing shorts aboard Air Force One back in 2009, Mrs. Obama now calls it her worst fashion faux pas. By way of explanation, she said, “Sometimes I simply forget I’m the First Lady.”

She doesn’t know how lucky she is. For the past five years, as God is my witness, I’ve devoted nearly every waking hour to trying to forget that unfortunate fact, and so far I haven’t even come close.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • vincentlawrence

    Thank You !!!
    You put into words what has been chasing through my mind from the the time Obama was elected, not one good thing has come from his election, except that it proves anyone can be elected to become President of The United States of America.

    The Founders of this Republic failed to add a test one must pass to qualify to run for the Office of the President of the United States of America..