Separating the Wheat from the Chaff

One of my main objections to registered Independents is that they love to announce that there’s no difference between Democrats and Republicans. That is such a dumb remark that one would only expect to hear it uttered by liberals.

Anyone unable to see any difference between the two parties really hasn’t been paying any attention. Even if you’re not a fan of Mitch McConnell or John Boehner, who but a moron would claim they’re not a major improvement over Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?

Rep. Allen West (R-Florida)

The other bit of folk wisdom that makes my head feel like it’s about to explode is that we should evict all the politicians in the House and Senate. I know that people who say this regard themselves as politically astute, but it’s actually evidence that they’re too lazy to gather some facts or too stubborn to recognize the facts when presented with them. After all, why should anyone want to send Darrell Issa, Michele Bachmann or Paul Ryan, home? Lumping them with such pinheads as Patty Murray, Henry Waxman, Dick Durbin, Chuck Schumer or the members of the  Congressional Black Caucus, makes no sense at all.

Speaking of the Caucus, can you even imagine the depths of stupidity reached when that gang congregates for a meeting? Under normal conditions, you would have to be inside a prison in order to find 40 people who were that ignorant and that corrupt. Actually, you’d have to be in two prisons because in this rancid group there are both males and females, although in a few instances it’s not that easy telling them apart.

All by himself, Allen West has an IQ equal to any five of them. Make that 10 if Jesse Jackson, Jr., John Conyers, Emanuel Cleaver, Barbara Lee, Jim Clyburn, Laura Richardson, Keith Ellison, John Lewis, Terri Sewell and Sheila Jackson Lee, are the 10 you have in mind.

The surprising thing is that they don’t all hail from the Bay Area. At the risk of sounding as if I, a Californian, were bragging, there is no place in America where the population is as goofy and the politicians half as loony as they are in the area surrounding San Francisco. Besides being home base to the likes of Jerry Brown, Nancy Pelosi and Gavin Newsome, and being a sanctuary city; the area includes Berkeley, where a city council regularly announces its foreign policy decisions; and Oakland, where Mayor Jean Quan, who is probably the only Asian in America with an IQ lower than her body temperature, recently gave a thumbs-up to the local Occupy Wall Street thugs the day after they put several Oakland cops in the hospital.

Oakland Mayor Jean Quan

Speaking of stupidity, Sarkozy and Obama, two guys who regard themselves as brilliant, although not bright enough to know their microphones were on, apparently had this exchange at the recent G-20 summit: Sarkozy: “I can’t stand Netanyahu. He’s a liar.” Obama: “You’re sick of him, but I have to deal with him every day.” Just how dumb is that? Well, Sarkozy, who’s allegedly Jewish, prefers dealing with Obama to dealing with the Prime Minister of Israel, even though everyone who isn’t stupid enough to say really dumb things into a live mic knows that nobody in public life, including Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro, lies as much as Obama. While Sarkozy was apparently out shopping for elevator shoes, the rest of us have spent the past four years listening to Obama audition for the title role in Pinocchio! The Musical!

One of the biggest lies that Obama has repeated like a parrot gone berserk is that tens of millions of Americans would starve if not for him and his congressional cronies. The so-called poverty line is a line, okay, a line of political poop. In spite of Obama, Pelosi and Reid, insisting that 43 million of us are living in more deplorable conditions than the folks in Bangladesh, other more reliable statistics, belie their lies.

For instance, 99.6% of “poor” Americans own refrigerators; 97.7% own TV sets, with 65.1% owning more than one and 63.7% having either a cable or satellite connection. What’s more, 81.4% have air conditioning, 70.6% own at least one VCR and 64.8% own a DVD player. Over 80% have microwaves; over 60% have cordless phones and clothes washers; while over 50% have cellular phones, clothes dryers and ceiling fans. In addition, 100% of them have kids whose sneakers cost upwards of $120.

While it’s true that a scant 0.6% have their own Jacuzzis, we mustn’t overlook the fact that they also get food stamps, subsidized housing and health care. Their kids get free school breakfasts and lunches; and if they happen to be illegal aliens who don’t even belong here, their kids also receive in-state college tuition in more than one state. And perhaps best of all, because what money they do earn is generally off the books, they not only don’t have to pay income tax, they actually get some of our tax dollars sent to them by a government hoping the bribes will continue to pay off in votes from the plantation.

So, just in case you were wondering how it is that the Left gets to pretend that conservatives are so heartless when it comes to The Poor, now you know. Between the liars in the media and the liberals in Washington, they just keep feeding us one whopper after another, generally without fries.

©2011 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write!
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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • Shirl

    Isn’t this why the hypocrats are called bleeding-heart liberals? Merry Christmas, Burt.

  • T.Geloso

    Corruption isn’t just a democrat practice.
    If you read Ronald Kesslers INSIDE CONGRESS both parties have their hand it the till since the country was founded.
    Burt, since you like to preach myopic, mindless partisan bashing to the choir, so then you all can congratulate yourselves on how wonderfully superior you are, and how bad the opposition is.
    A man with all your writing experience might want to get beyond that, but sorrily not.
    What a monumental waste of time, energy and electricity.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    CMACRIDER: My family moved from Chicago when I was six. Even by that time, I had had enough of snow. In the meantime, my only experience with the stuff was once when I was on a TV writing assignment in New York and once when I was in the mountains and trying to get out before being stranded by an incoming storm. Both occasions confirmed that I had the right idea when I was six years old. So, thank you for your kind offer, but I’ll pass.


  • cmacrider

    Burt: Great article … but I think you should try to get out of your shell and tell us what you really think about liberal nut jobs. This subtle constrained commentary is just not becoming of you.

    Have a Merry Christmas
    If you need snow … let me know
    Cameron D. MacKay Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

  • Charlie

    Yegads, the comments section actually had me thinking about relative (de)merits of Maxine Waters and Sheila Jackson Lee. Talk about a waste of time! (Like, who’s a bigger idiot, Sean Penn or Alec Baldwin?)

    As usual, good article though, Burt.

  • Clarence De Barrows

    Burt: I was, early on, a strong supporter of Allen West for President when it was thought he might be persuaded to run for the Office. Then he elected to join the Congressional Black Caucus, a predominantly disgusting, divisive group of hyphenated Americans. I immediately terminated my support for the man.

    • Ken Hansen

      Were I Allen West, I’d do the same thing – it’s the Congressional black caucus, not a collection of tan democrats, besides it could be funny to watch their meetings…

      • cmacrider

        Ken: I agree…. but I keep conjuring up visions of a psychiatrist walking through the doors of a psychiatric ward when I think of Allen West attending the congressional black caucus meetings. I’m also wondering whether the marines mention him in dispatches when he attends those caucuses.

  • Dave O’Connor

    Let’s face it, the public has been so dumbed down that it can’t tell the wheat from the chaff.
    Wasn’t it so much better, when we still becoming great, exceptional even, than where we find ourselves now; now that our chief executive has determined – for us – that we’re not exceptional.
    But, let’s face up to ourselves, folks, while it was all unwinding, many of us were right here. Did we see it happening at the time, werre too busy to deal with it, or just couuldn’t believe it could happen on our street.
    Whether or not it’s all a matter of minority cauci, I question. How much was mere patronizing; infantilizing a segment that we reduced from being true grown-ups to being the exceptional children.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    John: I can’t list all the corrupt and crazy libs in every article. God knows, I shine the spotlight on Waters as much as anyone, but she has to give the others a turn once in a while. Actually, Sheila Jackson Lee is even stupider and more vile than Waters.

    Gena: Actually I feel fine, but of course I didn’t write the article today. I can’t recall my mood when I wrote it.

    Regards, Burt

  • A. C.

    You wrote:
    “The other bit of folk wisdom that makes my head feel like it’s about to explode is that we should evict all the politicians in the House and Senate.”

    Well, I would limit it to every Senator and Representative who was first elected before 2010. They are tainted by the votes that approved laws and appropriations that got us where we are today. Those were criminal and for those votes they should be thrown out. Furthermore, simply having voted against such bills is not enough. More should have been done to stop the laws that brought us to this crisis. Fistfights on the Senate floor would not have been too extreme for the harm done to millions of people caught in the housing debacle alone, to say nothing of the damage done by the putridly corrupt TARP, stimulus or Obamacare bills.

    They could have, and should have, done more and they did not. That’s enough to throw the scoundrels out.

  • Jeannette

    The whoppers they’re feeding us are without fries because fries are so unhealthy. They want us around for as long as possible, and fries might make our stay shorter.

  • John In MA

    A friend of mine who is also INDEPENDENT, phrases it this way: “Would you prefer a single shot between the eyes or a slow death by a thousand cuts?” Dems will most certainly drive us away from the entrepreneurial, profit driven culture to a democratic socialism within a second term for Obama. The GOP will simply require a few additional generations beyond Bush to accomplish something close (government regulating and involved in nearly every transaction), whether intentional or not.

    While I’m not as cynical, I just have a hard time believing that a road paved with secular, politically correct stones is better or worse than one paved with more righteous and supposedly “free will” stones.

    Perhaps the distinction is that, while both fail to live up to their rhetoric to a large degree, if you look really, really closely, you might find that the GOP is a little better at delivering on a few of the promises. Maybe. But politicians of either stripe are believable. As long as their mouths are not open.

  • Shane

    Yes, there is a big difference in philosophy between the Socialist Democrats and the Free Market Republicans. People should chose a side; I don’t respect those who are too weak to make a commitment.

  • Blakely1

    I have the same opinion of Independents. They blow with the wind. If the Democrats can produce
    a lie or exagerate a truth right before an election, there go the dummies, who say both
    parties are alike.

    • Nancye

      Agree. When a person can’t take a stand and stick with it I have no respect for them.

  • John

    In listing Congressional goofballs, how could you possibly have overlooked Maxine Waters?

  • Gena Taylor

    Mr. Prelutsky – I agree with just about everything you said above, but the tone today indicates you are not in a very good mood today, which, considering how things in the country are going right now, is understandable. Hope the rest of your day goes well. Merry Christmas!!