Should Biden Drop Obama From the Ticket?

As a rule, the guy running for president chooses a running mate he thinks will help him win a specific swing state, which explains Kennedy picking Johnson. Sometimes he picks someone whom, he hopes, will energize the electorate, which explains McCain picking Palin. But, nearly always, he selects a person nobody really wants to see wind up as president. After all, when some guy is just a heartbeat from the Oval Office, you don’t want to have millions of people hoping you have a heart attack. And that explains why such nonentities as Spiro Agnew, Dan Quayle, Al Gore and Joe Biden, have all held the office.

It also helps if your laddy-in-waiting is the sort of goof who refers to putting out the hit order on Osama bin Laden as the height of courage and audacity. If butt-kissing were an Olympic event, that’s the sort of thing that could earn Joe Biden a gold medal in London this summer.

Unfortunately, Biden doesn’t come cheap. According to Newsmax columnist Ron Kessler, Joe Biden costs the American taxpayer over a million dollars a year just in weekend travel expenses. It seems that the man Obama appointed to root out wasteful government spending takes a helicopter, designated as Marine Two, every weekend to Maryland, where he then gets on Air Force Two to fly him home to Delaware. When the weather is warm and Obama isn’t out of town raising campaign funds, Biden will return to Washington on Saturday so that he can play a round of golf with his boss before heading back to Delaware. The cost of the one-hour round trip on Air Force Two is $22,000. The cost of two such trips in a weekend is therefore $44,000, not counting the helicopter rides and the lost golf balls.

All of this is in addition to his $230,700 salary and the rent-free vice-presidential mansion, where five Navy stewards cook, clean, shop for food and do the laundry, at no cost to the Bidens. Lest you think that’s the end of it, the taxpayers are also stuck with the cost of renting 20 condominiums in the Wilmington area for the Secret Service agents who have to accompany him on his weekend jaunts to Delaware.

In case you were wondering, this is what the Vice-President has in mind when he refers to himself as just a regular Joe. By such standards, Napoleon’s Josephine would have been well within her rights to describe herself as just a regular Jo.

In case you haven’t been paying attention to the adventures of Elizabeth Warren, the would-be senator from Massachusetts, it now appears that in addition to not being a true Cherokee, she is not even a true socialist. In spite of trying to pass herself off as an enemy of capitalism in general and predatory banks in particular, she and her relatives have a long record of buying up foreclosed homes in Oklahoma and flipping them for huge profits. In one case, which has taken its place in Cherokee lore, she bought a house for $30,000 and sold it five months later for $145,000!

She even tried her hand at usury, lending dough to one of her brothers at 9.5% interest. That explains why one of her many Indian names is Sister Shylock, and why the Mafia is considering underwriting the Elizabeth Warren course to be known as Moneylending 101 at Harvard.

For the past three years, we have heard Barack Obama insist that the only reason he doesn’t attend church services is because he doesn’t want to be a distraction to the other churchgoers. What makes that so puzzling is that he never seems to give a second thought to the disruption his motorcades create every time he flies into a city for one of his 200-plus fundraisers. And it didn’t seem to bother him in the least when, in order that he have a photo op, the Secret Service closed down the Vietnam Memorial to veterans, their families and the survivors of fallen warriors, for seven long hours this past Memorial Day

If I didn’t despise Obama, I might even feel sorry for the guy. An incumbent, after all, has only two choices, and that’s to run on his record or from his record. And as fight fans used to say about the various palookas who faced Joe Louis in his prime, they can run, but they can’t hide.

There’s also a saying that criminals always return to the scene of the crime. I have no way of knowing whether or not that’s true.

I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if Obama goes back to Chicago next January.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky.

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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • Mari Jo O’Neill

    I hope that by this time everyone knows that Obama is an elitist and that he looks down his nose at every single American. I believe that he hates this Country and that i s why he is trying to destroy it. We can only hope that he has a one way ticket back to the thugs here in Chicago.  He has to be out and the sooner thebetter.

  • John Tharp

    Many on the left believe that they are products of evolution, monkeys, donkeys, and such. However when I see the likes of Obama, Biden, Reid, and Pelosi and others of their lineage, I often think of them in terms of insect life. Should I see a doctor or just realize that what’s happening to me is normal for a conservative?

  • terry


  • BurtPrelutsky

    GlenFS:  They are more like Abbott & Costello.  Laurel & Hardy often had their differences, but they were both sweet-natured and would unite against a common foe.  Abbott, on the other hand, was a  snide and nasty piece of work, and he would egg on cops and top sergeants to bully Costello while he stood by. Obama reminds me of Abbott.  The man has no friends, merely stooges and accomplices.

    Cma: Biden is goofy, Obama is evil.


  • Cmacrider

    Burt:  I think Obama chose Biden to provide contrast, but after three and one-half years its difficult to determine which one is goofier.

    • GlenFS

      Both are perfect boobs, just that Obama plays the straight part and Biden the goof.  Classic Laurel & Hardy.

  • BurtPrelutsky

    Lonesome: You of course meant “no clue.”  Don’t you hate when that happens?  I bet you realized your mistake the second your finger hit Post as…
    But you are right about liberals.  They not only think they’re brighter than other people, they also believe they are kinder and no doubt better-looking.


    • Wil

      Burt, Have you noticed, all the TV (Send me your money) Preachers are
      conservative Republicans! That’s the crowd you are running with!

  • Lonesome George

    Burt, you know what’s scary?  People like Wil think they are openminded. tolerant, humanitarian AND sophisticated.  He has know clue who he is!

  • BurtPrelutsky

    DanB–You provide the violins, I’ll provide the Kleenex.


  • Wil

    Every public institution whose mission is to give everyone the freedom and tools to prosper is being raided and dismantled to pay for a massive redistribution of wealth to the wealthiest in the form of tax cuts. 

    Conservatives are gleefully dismantling schools, transit systems — even post offices — in every state. The rest are desperately trying to prevent the institutions that create opportunity from crumbling. Doesn’t that bother you, I mean just a little bit?

    • DanB_Tiffin

      Oh my! Get the violins out for Wil and all his victims, again!

      • Wil

        Your favorite news channel has to be Fox….

    • Worldbuilder

       Wil: You said, “a massive redistribution of wealth to the wealthiest in the form of tax cuts.” This is a contradiction. It’s not redistribution if the wealth is already theirs.

  • BurtPrelutsky

    Brian: At first, I assumed you were merely a newcomer who was unaware that I typically cover a number of issues in a single column and that the title can not cover all of them.  But by the time I read your comment all the way through, I saw that you were merely one of the boobs who believes Obama walks on water.  Based on your photo, I assume you have jumped to that conclusion as a result of racial bias.

    To everyone else: When you wish to post a comment, do you ever see Please Wait in the  box?  On occasion, I have sometimes been put on hold for hours.  I’m trying to find out if the problem is at my end or this end.

    SendtheClunker:  I’m afraid that neither Mr. Goldberg nor Mr. O’Reilly takes his marching orders from me, but I will keep my eyes open on the 17th.


    • Brianbradford42

      Wait, you can look at my picture and tell that I’m racially biased? Can I look at your picture and think the same? Any African American that disagrees with you does so because he/she is racially biased? If I were White would that have made you a better writer? Let me give you an example. Good writers don’t use mixed metaphors. “Sister Shylock” is horrible because “Shylock” is associated with Jewish men. A better writer would have used a Native American slang. You knew the line was weak so you tried a second joke, in the same vain.

      You merge several subjects into an “article” because you cant write well. Use a graphic organizer. Or I can let my son tutor you. He just finished the 7th grade and he can help you write a five-paragraph essay where you establish an idea and then use facts to substantiate your thesis.

      • sjangers

        Brian, you come across as arrogant and vain when you set yourself up as a critic of Burt’s writing skill.  You identify a shallow vein of pedestrian writing and make a vain attempt to parlay it into a patronizing critique of his overall talent.  Burt’s well-established credentials in the field aside, you lose a certain amount of credibility in that vein when you demonstrate your own clear shortcomings in the proper use of English, or resort to pedantic cant about mixing metaphors and “acceptable” writing style. 

        Since he seems to have some time off this summer, perhaps your seventh-grade son could help you.  If not, at least the quality time you spent together would ensure that his effort isn’t entirely in vain.

      • Worldbuilder

        Mr. Bradford,
        You should look at some of Mr. Prelutsky’s other posts. Yes, he typically jumps around a bit, but he normally has a common theme of exposing liberal idiocy and hypocrisy with a humorous spin. His posts are not meant to be scholarly publications. Please lighten up.

        Also, in the last election, 95% of black people voted for President Obama. Can you honestly say there is not a little racial bias among the black communities of our country? If 95% of whites voted for McCain, you’d be howling at the injustice.

        And finally, have you bothered to look at Mr. Prelutsky’s  bio. He’s been writing professionally since the late 60s. What have YOU ever done?

      • SendTheClunkerBackToChicago

        The whole race baiting is a waste of time.  Barack Hussein Obama is 50% White, 43.25% Arab (all those funny names from Daddy’s side of the ancestry tree) and 6.75% African-Negro.  Only in a politically correct corrupt radical libtard world does that ancestry compute to America’s “first black President.”   If you tell a lie long enough it the dumb down electorate will begin to believe the lie.   Hell, I thought Bill Clinton was our “first black President.”  I think it would be more accurate to call President Obama our “first gay President” perhaps Newsweek got it right.  I happen to see a lot of American soldiers blood spilled unto the ground and stretchers and floors of helicopters and what amazed me it was always American red blood no matter what the ancestry was.  The sooner we accept that premise the sooner we can get over the racial crap. 

    • SendTheClunkerBackToChicago

      Burt, there is a chance that Bernie may read the comments thus the reference about him and Bill O’Reilly in my comment.  Just using a Burt tactic!!

  • Brian

    Did a child write this article? The lead sentence has nothing to do with the rest of the article. Why did the writer spend two paragraphs on Elizabeth Warren? What does Warren have to do with the headline or the lead sentence? 
    Then he jumps to church and compares the POTUS’ attending tchurch to him attending a fundraiser. A better high school would have taught the author the term “illogical comparrison”.  There are some blatant lies, horribly lame jokes and, obviously, this guy has never used a transitional sentences in his life. Writers like this make conservatives look ignorant. Why is this posted?

    • GlenFS

      Well, I laughed when I read the title and didn’t stop till I finished… so I guess Burt’s humor just isn’t written for you, Brian.

      • Mackaycameron484

        Glen: You’re not alone.  Unfortunately liberals and progressives are quite incapable of understanding either wit or irony …. and when Burt uses both to point out their hypocritical position on things … they inevitably pose as “intellectuals”  and then resort to personal attacks to demonstrate their assumed intellectual superiority.

        • Brianbradford42

          You guys are just easily amused.

          • cmacrider

            And given the tenor of your comments we have much to be easily amused about

  • sendtheclunkerbacktochicago

    Hi Burt, You make a great point.  After Sheriff Joe Arpaio is through with Barack Hussen Obama Joe Biden will indeed be the one looking for a running mate.  On July 17th, 2012 Sheriff Joe Arpaio and his lead investgator will be holding their SECOND Press Conference in Phoenix. AZ.  They believe that it will be hard for the conservative media to ignore what they have discovered.  I hope you are willing to ask Bernie to make his presence known at the Press Conference.  He could take a seat next to Frank Gaffney, Diana West and Lord Charles Monckton who have become very interested in this criminal activity that Sheriff Joe and his team of investigators have uncovered.  They say when they are finished Watergate will look like a walk in the park.  Maybe Bernie can convince the wobbly kneed Bill O’Reilly to participate.  I know that would be difficult since O’Reilly already has mud all over his face when he attempted to use something as silly as a birth announcement and a fraudulent claim that Barack’s father lived in Conn. thus the Conn. SS# as an excuse not to cover the crimes.  So anyway, keep your eyes peeled for that July 17th SECOND Press Conference, you missed the first one.

    • Brianbradford42

      I’m sure you meant “liberal” media. Arpaio to the rescue! Lol. If Obama haters are resting their hopes in the likes of Joe Arpaio, then the country should be safe for another four years.

      • SendTheClunkerBackToChicago

        No Bian, it has been the conservative and the liberal media that has ignored the eligibilty issue connected to Barack Hussein Obama.  I hate politicians that are liars and those who intentionally hide their records from the American people via Executive Order.  I hate politicians who spend over a million dollars hiding something as basic as a Birth Certificate for THREE years and when they finally present the damn thing it turns out to be a computer generated forgery and no one cares to investigate it.  Didn’t the liberals fire Dan Rather and his boss Mary Mapes for using fraudulent documents, shouldn’t the President be held to the same standard?  To add insult to injury Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s investigators discovered that the Commander in Chief fraudulently registered with the Selective Service.  How pitiful is that?  Tune in on July 17th when this scandal of the century comes crumbling down on top of the radical progressive movement in America.