Some Light Bulbs Are Screwy

When I heard Newt Gingrich seriously suggest that America, a nation perched on the edge of economic collapse because of Obama’s sending our debt soaring from $10 trillion to $16 trillion, should consider setting up a colony on the moon — and, furthermore, granting statehood when the colony population reached 13,000 — it occurred to me that “lunacy” is a word derived from Luna, a Roman deity who personified the moon.

When people insist that Gingrich would make a great president, they generally emphasize how many ideas he generates on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. What they overlook is that a great many of his brainstorms are all wet.

One of Newt’s ideas

In the old days, whenever someone in the cartoons came up with an idea, the cartoonist would illustrate the event by showing a large light bulb floating over the character’s head. If I were drawing a strip called “Newt,” his ideas would be represented by those CFL twisty bulbs that not only provide very little illumination, but contain mercury, meaning that disposing of them is about as hazardous as trying to unload nuclear waste.

I’m not saying that all of Mr. Gingrich’s ideas are toxic, but it’s not as if the ones that aren’t are all that splendiferous. He’s merely a politician, after all, not a scientist trying to find a cure for cancer.

The nice thing about being president is that you don’t have to be the fountainhead of all ideas; the president has access to every good idea floating around in America. But because of Newt’s narcissism, which I don’t find all that different from Obama’s, I suspect that Gingrich doesn’t have too much interest in anyone else’s ideas and far too much love and respect for any and all that happen to spring from his own head.

Speaking of the egotist-in-chief, what I find so confounding about Barack Obama isn’t that he sticks to his guns in spite of one failure after another, but that so many Democrats still blindly support him. Understand, I don’t expect liberals to turn on him because he continues to promote the redistribution of wealth. After all, that’s what he promised to do as a candidate in 2008 and is one of the few campaign promises he has kept.

But when, during his State of the Union address, he had the gall to say that it’s not fair that Warren Buffet’s secretary, Debbie Bosanek, pays more in income taxes than billionaire Buffet, I don’t recall hearing any of the Party faithful call him on it. As we all know, tax rate is not the same thing as tax obligation. Even Ms. Bosanek, whom Obama had planted in the royal box with Michelle, knows she doesn’t write a bigger check to the IRS than her boss. We also know, as does Obama, that folks like Buffet and Romney already paid income taxes on the money they earned at a rate of 35% before getting to invest whatever was left and then pay an additional 15% on those capital gains. The IRS, a gang of ghouls who would cheerfully pry the gold from the teeth of the deceased, then gets a third crack at their money in the form of death taxes.

The notion that rich people don’t pay their fair share of taxes is such a blatant lie that only that half of the population that pays nothing, while in some cases collecting “refunds,” would be hypocritical enough to turn it into their favorite mantra.

One of the other gargantuan lies that leapt off the TV screen during Obama’s address was that, thanks to him, the U.S. has greater influence and garners more respect around the world than ever before. The idea that Obama could deliver that knee-slapper with a straight face, and that his puppets in Congress could compound the joke by giving him a standing ovation, suggests he just might be able to reverse Reagan’s career arc and end up as the president of SAG.

The fact of the matter is that he has about as much respect and influence on the world stage as Dennis Kucinich.

Otherwise, isn’t it safe to assume that the 2016 Olympic Games would be taking place in Chicago, instead of Rio?

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write!

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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • Burt Prelutsky

    Barker: Bernie didn’t write this article; Burt did. But I’m glad you agree with its contents.

    Shipley: I agree with you.


  • shipley130

    I wouldn’t want to go live on the moon if Newt Gingrich’s thugs were there. I might end up with a broken foot.

    • Michael

      I think they only do that to Paul supporters. :)

  • Barker

    Bernie is mostly right about Newt Gingrich. Newt did a terrific job years ago when he was Speaker of the House. Since then his ego and ambition has overtaken his mind and actions. He has changed, and sadly not for the better.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Fox is not fair and balanced. That is because when you have such nitwits on one side as Bob Beckel, Juan Williams, Leslie Marshall, Alan Colmes and Geraldo Rivera, and the brainy likes of Bernie Goldberg, Charles Krauthammer, Bret Baier, Brit Hume and Steve Hayes, on the other, there can’t be any actual balance.

    Shirl: Judging by the debates in Florida, Romney is quite prepared to deal with Obama. He basically put Gingrich in a box, slapped on some stamps and shipped him back to Georgia.

    G. Daylan: There’s no doubt that Newt’s ego is even bigger than his tummy.

    Michael: I’ve done my part. Now it’s up to you to spread the word.

    Best, Burt

    • Mike Jackson

      Burt, aren’t the latter there with both hands tied behind their backs?

  • Michael

    “Otherwise, isn’t it safe to assume that the 2016 Olympic Games would be taking place in Chicago, instead of Rio?”

    I heard a loud Kaboom! in the background when I read that line. You put that artillery round right on target. I only wish more people realized the truth behind it.

  • G. Daylan

    Thanks for pointing out Newt’s fantastic ego. All pols are self-promoters but Newt uses “I” and “my” in describing the economy of the nineties with Obamian regularity, reinforcing the idea that government “creates jobs.” Bill Clinton played Newt like a bull fiddle and that was when he was a mere Speaker. He can faux pas at a Bidenian level and the MSM will tear him apart just like they did before.

  • Shirl

    Hey, Burt; lighten up on Newt (I know you won’t). Look, I respect all the candidates that entered the presidential race for their bravery mostly and their patriotism. Just knowing ahead of time, the onslaught they would be facing from the usual vicious know-it-all media and others. I applaud them all because I suspect like most of us, they feel an overwhelming need to do something about occupant of the wh trying to destroy everything good about America; including NASA of which I was so proud to have located in my home state. Newt has a way about inspiring people that Romney might take a few lessons. Is Romney really prepared for what is ahead?!! He did lose to McCain and McCain lost to you know who, afterall.

  • cmacrider

    Burt: Your usual pithy thoughts coupled with a wry turn of phrase always makes my day … thank you. Do your country a service and send your resume to Romney … he needs some humour and humanity injected into his sound bytes.

    Re: “moon trek” …. I think to retain the “fair and balanced” mantra so that you can compete with O’Reilly you should have pointed out that there is a certain degree of logic to Newt’s idea. That is, possibly a 15 trillion debt is simply not enough incentive to spark the American entrepreneurial spirit into action … another couple of trillion may just do the trick and turn the economy around.

    Re: America in the eyes of the world …. Although I recognize Canada’s opinion of America is not considered exactly pivotal on the world scene, I found P.M. Harper’s comments on the XL Pipeline rather revealing. Harper said that from an American perspective the decision to proceed with the pipeline was a “no brainer.” Subsequently,Obama decided that he could not make that decision. And soooooooo .. the conclusion about Obama’s intellect is …………… I often wonder whether Americans realize that the world is looking at Obama and that dysfunctional cabinet of his in bewilderment. (Is Clapper the actual name of that CIA dude or is that an allusion to some health problem the guy has?)(Surely appointing Eric Holder as the A.G. was Obama’s idea of slapstick comedy which took and ugly twist) Where are the people who are equipped to be world actors on a world stage? In the past every U.S. Administration has always produced one or two outstanding individuals.