There are many incomprehensible moments in movies. For instance, in just about every James Bond film, the sadistic villain finally has his nemesis, Agent 007, in his clutches. Instead of just shooting Bond, because a gunshot would be too quick and relatively painless, he sets up an elaborate mechanism so that he can enjoy watching the British spy die a slow and agonizing death. But then, instead of sticking around and watching the execution through to its blood-curdling conclusion, the bad guy suddenly glances at his watch and says something along the lines of, “Good-bye, Mr. Bond. I would love to stay another minute or so and watch your excruciating demise, but there’s a tuna fish sandwich waiting with my name on it.”
We all realize that as absurd as that is, movie conventions require bad guys to do stupid things so that the hero can employ his ingenuity and act heroically. But when liberals do really dumb things in real life, what are their motives? Can it be that they live solely to provide me with endless things to ridicule?
For instance, take the so-called Dream Act. That’s the proposal that paves the way to citizenship for young Hispanics. It requires them to either serve in the military or attend college for two years. If you knew nothing else about this goofy proposal, you could bet that only a liberal would suggest that getting drunk, goofing around with coeds and being brainwashed by leftwing professors is in any way, shape or form, the equivalent of putting your life on the line for America.
This is nothing new. For years, liberals have proven beyond question that they have no idea what the word “comparable” even means. As proof of that, you need only recall what they considered comparable when they were arguing that women be paid the same as men for doing comparable jobs. Instead of making the sensible case that women doing the exact same job as men, and doing it equally well or equally badly, should be paid the same, they decided to argue that various jobs were comparable to various other jobs. The boneheads, for instance, insisted that being a nursery school teacher was comparable to being a fireman. They never quite got around to explaining how risking your life to rescue people from a burning building was comparable to passing out graham crackers and finger paints, but it just felt right — and, for those on the left, feelings inevitably trump rational thought.
Have you ever had a dream in which the pilot bails out of a plane, leaving you and all the other passengers to fend for themselves, or a train engineer decides to let loose of the controls just to see what the train does? Well, neither have I, but every time I see Barack Obama bumbling around in the world of foreign affairs, I keep thinking how nice it would be if I could just wake up and discover it was merely a nightmare.
Consider the START treaty. There’s nothing that presidents like better than signing treaties. It makes them feel as if they’ve really accomplished something. The problem is that you don’t send a goofus to negotiate with the Russians. The Russians are not our friends. If a Cossack like Putin is willing to cooperate with us, it is not to our advantage.
Naturally, the Russkies are willing to diminish our respective nuclear arsenals, but that’s only because they want to use the agreement to prevent us from developing nuclear defense systems for ourselves and for our allies in Eastern Europe.
The whole utopian idea that we will ever have a nuclear-free earth is insane. It is as preposterous as thinking you can put the toothpaste back in the tube or the genie back in the bottle.
As with guns, if nuclear bombs were outlawed, only outlaws would have nukes.
©2010 Burt Prelutsky