The Bunk Stops Here

The usual sob sisters were at it again because it took Joseph Wood — who had murdered his ex and her father in cold blood 25 years ago — two hours to die of a lethal injection. The question, though, shouldn’t be why it took him that long to finally die but, rather, why it took a quarter of a century for justice to be served.

For my part, when it comes to disposing of murderers, I say the more excruciating, the better. But I am always open to compromise. As I see it, the last good thing the French did for America was send us Lady Liberty. An even more utilitarian gift would be the guillotine. No muss, no fuss. It’s like one of those nifty kitchen gadgets they’re always hawking on late night TV. Believe me, nobody hangs around for two hours when you’ve got one of those babies on the job.

Recently, Sgt. Ryan M. Pitts was awarded the Medal of Honor. When I saw Barack Obama placing the ribbon around the sergeant’s neck, I felt a certain amount of revulsion. Men like Sgt. Pitts have performed acts of heroism and self-sacrifice that most of us can’t even imagine doing in our wildest fantasies. But to receive this honor from a president who possesses none himself must be profoundly disturbing. Whatever shortcomings George W. Bush had as president, nobody could ever question the respect he had for our troops. Is there anyone who doubts that Barack Obama, like John Kerry, looks down on the military and, at best, regards its members as suckers?

Speaking of Kerry, he voiced his contempt for the Israelis when, referring to their attempts to avoid civilian casualties in Gaza, said, “It’s a hell of a pinpoint operation. It’s a hell of a pinpoint operation.”

The one thing you can always count on from our Secretary of State is that, like Obama, he believes that every inane remark that escapes his lips bears repeating. In fact I’d go so far as to say that Kerry’s comment is a hell of a pinheaded response, a hell of a pinheaded response.

After all, it’s bad enough that, thanks to a biased media, millions of uninformed Americans are unaware that the members of Hamas never wear uniforms, thus passing themselves off as non-combatants, or even that they make a practice of placing their women and children in harm’s way. But it’s inexcusable for John Kerry to pretend he doesn’t know. The only explanation for the Secretary of State’s siding with the Islamic terrorists is that he subscribes to the sort of vile anti-Semitism one rarely encounters in Washington, D.C., at least once Jimmy (“Israel is an apartheid state”) Carter left town.

I don’t know who came up with the following truism, but it would serve our nation’s leaders well to recognize that Islam is not a religion of peace and that “In every country where Muslims are in the minority, they’re obsessed with minority rights; whereas in every country with a Muslim majority, there are no minority rights.”

I recently watched a TV documentary that promoted the lie that white people practiced genocide by providing Native Americans (formerly known as Indians) blankets infected with small pox. The part of this slander that anti-white bigots never bother explaining is how the white devils managed to pass out those deadly blankets without contracting the disease themselves.

The sad truth is that Europeans did bring with them a number of various ailments to which the natives had no immunity, including some of a sexual nature, but that’s a far cry from setting out to destroy an entire race.

That doesn’t mean the white settlers were all a bunch of sweetie pies who wore funny hats and spent most of their time praying and noshing on turkey sandwiches. But it’s also true that the natives committed a fair amount of mischief of their own, both against the whites and members of other tribes, including raping, scalping and cannibalizing them.

The truth about the so-called Noble Savage is that, as with most people, a few were noble, many were savage and most just wanted in on the casinos.

It was recently divulged that when terrorists moved next door to the Benghazi consulate, the State Department was asked for sand bags and for machine guns to be mounted on the roof, but were refused on the grounds that it would upset the local population and would be aesthetically unpleasing. So far, the State Department hasn’t said how the Libyans, who are not famous for their aesthetic sense, felt about the four bloody American corpses and the burned-out consulate.

For political junkies, the response of Obama’s acolytes to the federal court decision that over-ruled subsidies for those people who signed on for ObamaCare through federal exchanges provided a huge belly laugh. It seems they’re terribly upset because the two judges who provided the majority opinion were both Republicans, and, therefore, nothing more than partisan hacks. What makes their reaction so amusing is that no major bill in American history has ever been so overwhelmingly partisan, having been steamrollered by the Democrats without a single Republican vote and without a single Republican amendment.

I had another nice chuckle when Obama held a recent fund-raiser and the cost for an individual was $10,000, but $32,000 for a couple.

The question preying on my mind is how many married Democrats were so dumb that they didn’t purchase two single tickets, thus leaving them $12,000 to cover parking, gas and the babysitter.

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©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • bradley ghorn

    It is funny that Obama and Kerry are working together these days as I have trouble distinguishing between the two. I think the main difference is that Obama has a better tan. I am not sure I could distinguish between the two other than by the tan because their minds suffer from the same deficiencies.

    I have often found it baffling that liberals have so much affection for convicted murderers on death row when they have no sympathy for life inside a mother’s womb. For them it is okay to kill a life as long as any part of that life is still in it’s mother (even if it is only the foot), but it is a tragedy when a serial murderer suffers a little bit after they receive a lethal injection. Liberals are a strange breed.

    Israel must never apologize for defending itself. They should blow up every tunnel and kill every terrorist. The terrorists claim they want to die. Israel should give such people what they claim they want. I think all sides would benefit by such a policy. Israel should not value the life of any terrorist when that terrorist does not value his own life.

  • Concernedmimi

    Well said, Burt!!!!!!!!

  • brickman

    Your comment on the awarding of the Medal of Honor as an occasion to falsely slander the President is effing disgusting.

  • buckrodgers

    It must be hard for journalists to speak up against their brothers in the media even if their about to drink the kool aid and walk off the cliff with them, because you all drink from the same well,but the truth is you just can’t trust anything that journalist have to say, the media has become so corrupt it’s impossible to tell the difference between an honest journalist or a clown journalist, a news anchor or a commentator, a legitimate news outlet or a internet induced propaganda web site, America has seen so called respectable journalists proclaim President Obama to be their one true god, we also saw a hapless Candy Crowley, who is so bias that she may have swayed an election and we see this type of behavior time and time again, if the media can’t police their own industry and weed out phony journalist, who put out propaganda, then it’s up to the American people to demand changes in the way the news is presented, if a journalist puts out garbage news,that he knows is a lie,he should be held liable,if a journalist is a commentator he should have a disclaimer stating that’s his opinion and not a fact, in todays world a Pulitzer is like an Oscar, it’s pretty much worthless, America has changed, the days of tuning into Walter Cronkite and actually listening to what he has to say is over, this is the age of the internet,where anybody with a blog can be a reporter, or a comedian like John Stewart can persuade public opinion and as long as the pay check keeps coming in, irresponsible clown journalist could care less, if their words take down a industry or hurt innocent people, it’s all about them and to hell with everybody else.

  • Paul Borden

    The $10,000/$32,000 fund-raiser does explain at least partly why it is this administration has increased the federal debt so much.

  • gdaylan

    Another truism about Muslims: Wherever there are any there is always trouble.

  • Josh

    So, 25 years after the fact, justice is served by executing someone?

    That logic escapes me.

    I’m not against the death penalty in principle. And I’m most definitely not against removing a murderer on the spot, like a person caught in the act, terrorists, etc. There’s just something about trapping someone inside of a cage for years and then pulling them out at a later date to kill them that doesn’t register in my brain as logical, just or moral. It pings around my W zone then on to the T center and off the F wing.

    It’s certainly more confusing when religious people are so pro-death penalty (I mean that in general for America, which is mostly Christian; I have no idea about your personal beliefs).

    But on a bright note overall as it pertains specifically to sissified progressives, “white” people will inevitably go extinct as we know them. Not sure who the progressives of the future are going to blame.