The Martians Are Here

I have come to believe that left-wingers hail from a different planet. That isn’t said in order to insult them, but to try to make sense of the stupid things they say and the nasty things they do.

After all, why would rational earthlings want to radically alter America? A little tinkering might be okay, but what Obama and his goons have done over the past few years is the equivalent of re-inventing the wheel and giving it square corners.

Why would earthlings even consider basing our economy on a system that has consistently failed in left-wing nations stretching from the Soviet Union to Cuba and Venezuela, leaving only dead bodies and ruins in its wake?

And just listen to the words they spew forth. Nancy Pelosi tells America and her colleagues in the House that they’ll have to pass ObamaCare before they find out what’s lurking in its two thousand-odd pages. Rahm Emanuel tells his fellow Chicagoans that if they’re going to kill someone in his town, they should do it in an alley so that a stray bullet doesn’t hit an innocent kid. Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz claims she has no idea if a political ad that insinuates Mitt Romney is personally responsible for a woman dying of cancer was produced by Democrats. For good measure, Debbie, who is the head of the DNC, doubles down by insisting that Paul Ryan’s budget will deprive the elderly of their Medicare benefits even though she very well knows that the Republican budget changes absolutely nothing for anyone over the age of 55.

For his part, Obama and Harry Reid have the chutzpah to demand to see Romney’s tax returns going back to the Civil War, while Obama has concealed everything from his college application to his foreign travel visa. The only thing this schmuck shares with the world at large are America’s national security secrets, never any secrets of his own.

An honest difference of opinion is fine. At the creation of our nation, the Founding Fathers disagreed about a great many things. But they didn’t lie. Even in the often slimy world of politics, there’s only one creature lower than a candidate who lies about himself and that’s one who puts lies in the mouth of his opponent.

Liberals are forever casting themselves in the role of superheroes sworn to saving those they refer to as the less fortunate. What they never mention is that they have devoted over half a century and several trillion dollars to this holy cause, and all we have to show for it is a bankrupt economy and even greater numbers of those wallowing on the bottom.

Naturally, there’s a logical reason for it. It’s because liberals merely dub everyone who belongs to certain minority groups as “unfortunate,” instead of concluding that there are millions of people here in America, many of them here illegally, who simply don’t wish to get off their own bottoms in order to improve their lot in life.

Why would these “unfortunate” girls bother getting an education when, instead, they can get knocked up in their teens, figuring welfare will support them and their brood for the next 60 years, leaving them free to watch soap operas; and when “unfortunate” young males decide they would prefer spending their time knocking up their girlfriends, cutting classes, getting stoned and peddling drugs?

These are not innocent victims of a corrupt society; they are the corrupt result of national policies that encourage sloth and ignorance. It’s not even fair to refer to them as being stuck on a plantation as if they were latter-day slaves because actual slaves had to work or they didn’t eat.

Something that has always confounded me is why those on the Left are always so anxious for the federal government to keep expanding when history tells them that at least half the time, Republicans are going to be in control of that very same government. I finally figured out that most Republican politicians aren’t really opposed to expanding Washington’s grasp, they simply don’t want Democrats doing the expanding.

But things under Obama have reached the breaking point, and I have to believe that Romney and Ryan will at the very least do their level best to keep the country from going over the edge and following such lemmings as Greece, Italy and Spain, to the rocks below.

I read recently that in Israel, they have developed special eyeglasses for orthodox Jews. The purpose isn’t to improve their eyesight, but to slightly blur their vision so that they won’t be corrupted by the sight of immodestly dressed women.

At first, I figured there would be a run on these glasses by male members of Congress, who would be spared having to clearly see the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Maxine Waters and Sheila Jackson Lee, especially too soon after the lunch break.

But a day later, I received an email from my faithful Arizona correspondent, Donald Melquist, who let me know that he had recently had an operation on his left eye to take care of a macular hole, followed by a cataract operation on his right eye. That meant he had to wear a patch on his right eye, leaving him dependent on his still-blurry left eye for a few days.

As a result, he couldn’t drive and couldn’t read, but it did ultimately leave him, he claims, with a better understanding of Democrats. The world was unchanged, he reported, but because he saw everything through the distorted view of his impaired left eye, he concluded that Democrats simply have a very skewed view of reality.

For me, it still remains a mystery whether liberals don’t see the same things as conservatives or simply don’t see things the same way. Is it that their vision is faulty or are their brains simply not equipped to process what they see?

In any case, I’ll try to keep an open mind, but for the time being, I’m sticking with my Martian theory.

Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
Author website:
  • MarioP

    Can’t wait what spins, half-truths, and lies will be posted in the next whacked blog about the Middle East situation and the QE3. Love it!

  • Joel Wischkaemper

    That, or their mind reading equipment is faulty and it drove them crazy.

  • Mariop

    One of the jokers on here posted the following comment under a previous blog:
    “… And once that was done, we could start getting rid of left-wingers.  Then we would not only have a better nation,…”

    What the conservatives don’t realize is that if it wasn’t for the liberals in our government, the Right would be carried off on the revolting public’s pitchforks and stakes from the White House. To see what I mean a bit more clearly, let us analyze the official U3 unemployment rate (UR) over the last half century. Starting with the UR at 6.6% in January of 1961 and adding up the percentage point changes all the following GOP presidents made to the rate during their terms, the UR would be at 14.1%! Performing the same addition for the Democratic presidents, including Obama, would yield an UR rate of 0.8%! Over the last five decades, on average the Republican presidents have INCREASED the unemployment rate annually by 0.27 percentage points, while the Democratic presidents have annually DECREASED the rate on average by 0.25 percentage points. 

    One can educate himself and perform similar analyses for the national debt, GDP and stock market growths, the inflation, and other economic indicators, and if it was not for the Democratic presidents repairing the damage all the GOP leaders caused every term, our economy would be in you know what, that thing you all are sitting on when posting your lame opinions.

    • Tilip2222

      You have it exactly reversed! It is the Republican’s who have had to fix the Democrat messes.
      Are you old enough to remember who inherited Jimmy Carter’s mess?
      Do you remember who inherited LBJ’s Vietnam War and “Guns and Butter” Great Society?

      Nice try using statistics to make your case.

      Wait to see the horrendous financial problem Mitt Romney/Paul Ryan will have to deal with! Things are going to get much, much, worse no matter what they do in the short term. will be a decade before we are on a reasonably stable footing again!

  • Bruce A.

    Burt, I have never met a Martian.  I  am sure they would be highly insulted comparing them to the likes of Debbie-Wasserman Schultz, Harry Reid & Nancy Pelosi.

    • BurtPrelutsky

      Bruce: I haven’t met any Martians, either.  But perhaps we have one in our midst.  Could Mariop’s name be a tip off as to his planet of origin?


      • Bruce A.

        This website is way too classy for a proper response to his/her origin.

        • MarioP

          Too classy? This website? These posters? Classy? How about you show your class by contradicting my arguments. But the only class all your posts show are the simplistic ideas and opinions one absorbs half drunk in a pub. I dare you to embarrass me with a strong argument, but the Right position is so indefensible, a liberal can destroy it with “have my brain tied behind my back”.

          • CCNV

             “…a liberal can destroy it with “have my brain tied behind my back”.

            You have “HAVE” a brain, for sure. Real class! You made me laugh out loud!!!

          • MarioP

            Well hello CCNV, I thought you went into hiding. Are you Nakoula? I left posts for you that went unrebutted. Oh well, I’m used to such silent treatment.
            How funny! I guess that is the price I pay for, for not proofreading my cellphone’s auto-corrected posts.  This isn’t the first time this has happen, nor will it be the last, so be prepared for more laughter. 😀

            But I’m pleased to see you addressing my lame post. Unfortunately, instead of addressing the facts and data I’ve been posting, you attack my electronic device that lacks intelligence. Please, instead of goofing around, be productive and rebut all my arguments addressing the lies posted on this website.

          • Tilip2222

            See my rebuttal above!
            Read : “Read The Liberal Mind: The Psychological Causes Of Political Madness”, Lyle Rossitor, MD:

  • Mariop

    I’m not surprised at all that the Right is confused about the Left, comparing them to aliens. You know, when you place a mentally challenged student into a Calculus class, everything will go over his head. But the slow student will comprehend the most basic ideas, he’ll just need some guidance in life. 

  • Artlouis

    It is disheartening to realize that roughly half of our fellow citizens think that way. Even if Romney wins, what have we got to be proud of?

  • Wheels55

    Many on the left, like DWS and Biden, remind me of the movie: Invasion of the Body Snatchers. These are the pod people.

    • BurtPrelutsky

      Wheels:  As I, too, have on occasion likened them.


      • CCNV

         And obamacare reminds me of ‘Soylent Green’.

  • deny916

    Most of the things that come out of thier mouths are definitely martian speak.  I sit here and listen to these people just shaking my head.  I don’t understand how all dumbocratshave a 50% less  IQ than the rest of us!  And don’t get me started on Debbie Wasserman-Schultz!  ARGHHHHHH!

  • Wheels55

    Not Mars, Uranus (or Theiranus)

  • DanB_Tiffin

    We have been over, previously, what these clowns might, at their core, be. 

    As heroes, we all know that they suck.  Every sorry looking SOB  with a story is, to them, an AUTHENTIC poor disenfranchised victim of social injustice who must, must, must be rescued by the taxpayer. They are in complete denial over the abuse of our social system by the millions of phony victims, here in the USA, who would just as soon live as parasites.  No, the parasites are not living high off the hog, but they are obviously living well enough that the number keeps growing and growing.

    Liberals do not think. They emote with a lot of sick pity and they are in denial of the devastating “unintended consequences” of their demands.  Or, perhaps, “intended consequences” of some of them. If the USA is to avoid collapse (financial first), they must be marginalized quickly.

    • BurtPrelutsky

       Dan: Marginalized, deported or turned into mulch, would all be good plans.  But I don’t see it being done quickly, if ever.  Alas!


      • DanB_Tiffin

        I fear you are correct.

  • GlenFS

    Could they be real Earthlings who’ve had their brains replaced by Martians?  It does seem to have happened to some Republicans like Peggy Noonan.  Tragic.