The Missing Links

When it comes to the Theory of Evolution, the religiously devout often find themselves locked in futile battle with those who lack religious faith. Those on one side are convinced that the earth is a mere 6,000 years old, and that God woke up one day and suddenly decided to create the earth, the stars, the giraffe, the camel and his crowning glory, Adam. Then, lest Adam get too big for his britches, He created Eve.

Those on the other side of the argument think that is simply the goofiest story they ever heard. They insist it ignores tons of scientific evidence, including fossils, carbon dating and common sense. The faithful counter by saying that, for its part, science conveniently fails to explain how and why evolution would have ever begun. They insist that the universe can only be explained as the result of Intelligent Design.

Because I tend to be a skeptic where both science and religion are concerned, my own belief is more in line with Mark Twain, who surmised that God was so disappointed with man, He tried to improve on His invention by creating the monkey.

However, try as they might, neither side can fully explain the existence of left-wingers. For my part, I can far easier grasp the appeal of turnips and grits than I can the stranglehold that Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Castro, Chavez and Obama, have on leftists. I mean, how is it that anyone can look at the results of communism and socialism and not see them for the nightmares they are and always have been? After all, the evidence is in plain sight.

For all its claims to idealism, communism has invariably resulted in blood-thirsty regimes, whether in the Soviet Union, China, Cambodia, Cuba or East Germany. For the glories of socialism, you need only look to the riots now taking place in Greece. Tourists who have for years been attracted by the ruins of ancient Athens will now have even more reason to visit, although they will have to watch out for Molotov cocktails and tear gas.

Even here in America, which has generally been heading in the wrong direction ever since FDR adopted Norman Thomas’s socialist platform as his own, we have seen the pathetic results in our own streets. We see young dunderheads demonstrating for the end of capitalism, the destruction of corporations, and the forgiving of student loans, while simultaneously demanding high-paying jobs, free health insurance and the latest products devised by the brain of corporate billionaire Steve Jobs.

The fact that they’re too stupid to even notice the inconsistency inherent in their loony agenda tells me all I really need to know about the state of education in this country. These lunkheads represent the predictable results of allowing school teachers to belong to left-wing unions and permitting tenured professors to become propagandists rather than practitioners of the Socratic Method.

Still, it’s the often well-meaning parents, a great many of whom are conservatives, who have played a major role in creating this miserable state of affairs. After all, if you’re going to sit back and allow your sons and daughters to be indoctrinated from kindergarten on, and, for good measure, continue donating to colleges and universities that encourage this sort of thing, it’s hardly surprising that you’re going to wind up with regiments of liberal zombies who have been carefully taught to regard you as their natural enemy. In fact, when I see the allegiance that young Americans pay to Chairman Obama, I am more convinced than ever that stupidity is a hereditary condition.

When I was a youngster, parents were apt to warn their kids about the dangers inherent in associating with rotten companions by saying that if you lie down with dogs, you were likely to get up with fleas. When I look at the mobs demonstrating on Wall Street, I can see where that has become, not merely a figurative truth, but a literal one.

I almost feel sorry for the members of these mobs. That’s because they are obviously the nerdy boys and girls who never got to sit at the table with the A-crowd in high school. But my compassion only stretches so far, and by this time they should have gotten over the heartache of being genetically uncool.

The one good thing about them turning the streets of our major cities into outdoor toilets and urinals is that so many high-profile Democrats have adopted them as symbols of America’s oppressed. Obama feels their pain. Pelosi loves their spontaneity. Biden shares their grievances. Naturally, the mass media praises their courage and dedication.

Even I am willing to say something nice about these ignorant, lazy, unwashed, pot-smoking, self-righteous, slobs. But that’s only if the Democrats turn their presidential convention into a love fest dedicated to Occupy Wall Street, so that all of America can see the unbelievable depths to which the party of Harry Truman and John F. Kennedy has sunk.

I promise that if the Occupiers do even half as much for Barack Obama in 2012 as Abby Hoffman and his gang of misbegotten Yuppies did for Hubert Humphrey in 1968, I’ll invite all of them over to my house for a shower.

©2011 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write Burt!
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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • Burt Prelutsky

    Thank you, Gena and Shirl. Kind words are always appreciated, though money is nice, too.

    Kevin: I’m not so sure that the youth of today are really better than the youth in the 1960s and 70s. Those idiots grew older, but did they really mature in their thinking? Inasmuch as they are now judges, newspaper and TV reporters, have tenure at colleges and universities, and hold elective office, I’d say they’re still causing a lot of mischief.

    As for the today’s youth, they helped elect Obama in 2008 and the majority of them will vote for him next year. Nuff said.

    Regards, Burt

  • Gena Taylor

    Another good article, Mr. Burt P. I always enjoy your articles, Ms Salazar’s articles and Mr. Goldberg’s articles. Glad I signed up for Mr. Goldberg’s newsletter.

  • Kevin

    One positive trend the media appear to have missed is that our (baby boomer) generation is apparently producing fewer “ignorant, lazy, unwashed, pot-smoking, self-righteous, slobs” than our parents (greatest) generation did. It was just as sad back then to watch the useful idiots prancing around. Even in my early teens I knew better and so did all my friends. We were just on the lower fringe of that age cohort and I thank God for it. What ever happened to them? They got real, got jobs and got on with life. So will these morons, and I hope we won’t have them saying I was at the Occupy Movement, the same way people say they marched for civil rights, or were at Woodstock. This one is not a badge of honor. It’s a disgrace (so was Woodstock, but at least it was a laughable disgrace). Especially because of the way they are being used by real leftists who are hoping to catch a spark and ignite real trouble. It seems to lack the heart of a real movement born of true conviction, say like, the Tea Party?

    One thing it points out to us is that there is a cauldron of leftism in America that simmers under the lid in our society waiting for a chance to boil over. Americans don’t seem to like it or embrace it though, and like the 20-something Veterans who speak at our local Veteran’s Day ceremonies every year of late, after returning from Afghanistan and Iraq, it inspires hope that American DNA has not been altered irreparably by the infiltration of the left into our educational institutions and media outlets in spite of the fact those institutions have changed the conversation and the glossary of terms on us and tried to confuse us into believing that socialism is better, even though it has failed everywhere it has been tried, and those countries that have lurched leftward in the last century are crawling back toward the center now. In spite of this, we have those in our country trying to drag us leftward. I am happy they are not making much progress. It refreshes my hope for us.

    • Clarence De Barrows

      Kevin: I don’t know how old you are, but with all due respect, let me say, you apparently don’t remember the America where Joe McCarthy, with the support of a preponderance of the populace, was frying communists IN WASHINGTON every chance he got. Yet, you conclude that, “… they are not making much progress.” For those of us who remember the America I speak of, which existed only a few short years ago, your statement is beyond ludicrous!

  • Shirl

    Great article, Burt; as usual. My sentiments are pretty much the same and I am also still scratching my head about some of the people with influence got to be where they are today but I think it’s obvious. The proganda is rampant and oozing from every crack in American society. But we are awake now, so keep up the good word cause more are with you than against you.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Bill: I would separate the Occupiers into several groups, not just two. I would do it with a fire hose. Just because Bull Connor gave the hoses a bad reputation is no reason not to use a decent tool when it’s handy. After all, he also employed German Shepherds, as did the Nazis. But, then, so does our military. The dogs aren’t bad; as with guns and hoses, it all depends on who’s handling them.

    Mel & Brendan: I am not religious. I am also not a scientist. The fact is, I don’t really care how old the earth is or even how it came into existence. I’m not saying those questions aren’t important; I’m merely admitting that they’re not important to me. I am more curious about other things, such as how Joy Behar came to have a career, how someone who looks and talks like Barney Frank won 16 congressional elections and how it’s even conceivable that a few short years after Osama bin Laden murdered 3,000 Americans, our nation put a creep named Barack Obama in the Oval Office.

    Regards, Burt

  • Mel

    Not everyone on the creationist side believes the earth is only 6k yrs old…just sayin’ :)

  • Brendan Horn


    I think I have discovered the main difference between a communist and a socialist. While communists believe that murdering useful and productive citizens (a.k.a. “the wealthy”) is the way to create a Utopian society, the socialists believe that rapacious taxes against job producers and entrepreneurs will bring about their utopia. It is a subtle difference.

    I will never believe any scientist who tells me what happened 6000 years ago, much like I do not believe most newspapers when they tell me what happened yesterday. Nothing in the bible nullifies the possibility that God could have generated millions of years of evolution in six days. I find it hard to believe that a massive random explosion can create life even after millions of years, whereas it seems logical that a living being can create life with or without a bang.

  • Bill Hurdle

    I think the “Occupiers” need to be seperated into two different groups. The first group is comnprised of those who are being compensated or motivated by political interests (either present monetary compensation or anticipated advancement in the political hierarchy). They can be dismissed as practicing the work ethic we appreciate. The second group is comprised of “double digit IQ intellectuals” that do not posess the mental acumen to understand the concept of wealth creation. I agree that the education system is the primary source of the ideology indoctrination. We can only hope that the portion of students who fall prey to these zealots remains very low. I keep telling myself everyday that these people are an aberration expected to be found in any population distribution. Their number as a portion of the population is insignificant and the story should have disappeared long ago were it not for the incredibly disingenious media. Given the many stories regarding incoherent messages, I am amazed that the media has no sense of shame regarding their coverage.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Robin: Thanks for the thumbs up. I never thought it mattered much what people smoked, ingested or shot into their veins. I suppose that makes me a libertarian when it comes to that particular issue. My main objection to drug use is that when people under the influence commit crimes or cause accidents, they demand to be treated as the innocent victims of their addiction. Do the crime, do the time, and please don’t whine.

  • robin in fl

    I will admit that i smoked some pot back in the 70’s when i was a teen and early 20’s….then I grew up ,and I learned that the world ( and whomever created it),did NOT owe me a living…In other words I went on and lived my productive life the best I could,tried and learned from my mistakes I had made and tried to make the right choices..simple as that…far to simple for now a days,where the mentality is I want it ALL ,I want it NOw and I DON’T want to pay for it!..That may have been far more easy a way ,but I really don’t think I would have learned much if thats how I got to where I am.

    thanks for the great read Burt,I’ve come to expect it from you and look forward to it.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    AC: I was defining nerdy differently from you, but on the whole I agree with you.

    Samantha: I don’t know if God exists. I wouldn’t do anything any differently if I knew He did. Maybe because I don’t subscribe to the notion of an after-life and yet subscribe wholeheartedly to the 10 Commandments and the Golden Rule, I am sort of religious. Just not religious enough to take the Bible literally.

    Begbie: I agree with you.

    Regards, Burt

  • Mike Jackson

    Hi Burt,
    Good luck affording the water bill you’ll be hopefully receiving this time next year.
    I attended catholic schools through high school. One of our teachers, no less a nun, had a huge poster of Mao Zedong on her wall. I asked her why and she said because he exemplified catholic values. Yep, she was a government teacher.
    As for the biblical or “empirical reality” of Darwinism, I think the answer is somewhere in between. One can’t prove the Bible in its entirety and one can’t prove Darwin’s “Origin of the Species” with any more certainty.
    Best regards!

  • Jeannette

    Burt: I have my own way of “explaining” evolution/creation, but I won’t bore you with it now. Besides, my time is limited.

    The only way I can explain the existence of socialists or whatever it is they call themselves these days is that they decided it was a good time to grab onto the gravy train while there was a gravy train, perhaps thinking that the gravy train might, indeed, be shorter than hoped. There was some smart person who said — and I paraphrase – that socialism disintegrated when its adherents ran out of other people’s money.

    Personally, I think the OWS-ers are vaguely, uneasily aware that OPM is dwindling, and they’re scared to death they may have to become productive members of society in order to keep body and soul together. They’re probably also acutely aware they are incapable of becoming such outlandish creatures.

    Even ants function together to form a productive society. I have to wonder if these creatures — the OWS-ers — are lower than ants.

  • A. C.

    You said: “I almost feel sorry for the members of these mobs. That’s because they are obviously the nerdy boys and girls who never got to sit at the table with the A-crowd in high school. ”

    Excuse me, but you got it backwards on the nerds. Most of the whiners in the OWS crowd were the A-crowd in high school. The nerds have become engineers, physicists, chemists, IT sysadmins, DB admins, electricians, plumbers and entrepreneurs. Not always successful, but they didn’t get the opportunities afforded the “A-crowd” for the nice but expensive colleges where they got to sign for loans they could never afford – the price for going to a school with a “good name.” Now that privileged “A-crowd” is whining over having to pay up for caviar in college (not really, but getting into Yale, Harvard, Dartmouth and the like is academically like getting caviar at the school cafeteria. Now, when it comes time to pay the bill, the “A-crowd” whines.

  • Roadmaster

    The older I get, the better the Bible explains things, and scientists worse. It used to be the other way around for me but a total lack of any sign of erosion between boundaries (which are supposedly millions of years apart), no transitional species in the fossil record (zero, zip, nada), the mind boggling complexity of even simple life, and many other anomalies which science cannot explain (or keeps changing their explanation), leads me to the conclusion that God did it and says so. And He never lies.

    Nothing explains the Left for me – nothing. Nowadays I don’t even waste a nano-second arguing with any of them. LOGIC, TRUTH and FACTS are of NO use with them and life is too short – I’m getting old.

    I am certain of one thing – they must be defeated, and our team is about 100 years late to the game. T. Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson are guilty of foisting this idiotic “religion” on us, but most people don’t even know that because the Left has re-written and written out so much of our glorious History.

  • samantha perumal

    about “the missing links”article-i say about 90% of da article-very good,wonderful writing !God bless u,even though u dont believe He exists.

  • Begbie

    I never understood why religion and science could never find a happy place between them…. more so on the religious side. While science is focused on evidence and a process of figuring things out logically, religion is based on faith of things unseen.

    But why can’t the devoutly religious adopt the belief that evolution is a process created by intelligent design? Isn’t that reasonable for the faithful? One would think that every new discovery by science would be hailed by the religious as another marvelous creation of God.

    Oh yeah, and the OWS folks are dunderheads. Thanks

    • Nancye

      Thanks for your explanation. I was going to try to give mine but you’ve said it so much better than I ever could.

  • Ken Hansen

    Burt, the reason you don’t understand why so many fail to understand the short-comings of Marxism/Communisim/Socialism is because they arrogantly assume that ‘this time it will be different’. I was first exposed to this way of thinking during the Healthcare (Insurance) Debate – you could parade case after case of every single-payer healthcare system (patient drinking water from plants to avoid dehydration, patients calling 999 (UK’s 911 equivalent) because nurses won’t respond to screaming patients, and patients forced to spend hours in ambulances outside emergency rooms because hospitals had to delay their admission so they could meet ‘admission to seeing a doctor’ time limits, and others) and HCR supporters would simply dismiss those stories by saying ‘We’d never do that’ as if somehow UK citizens choose such a flawed healthcare system and fail to grap the needed changes. (it reminds me of the Jerry Seinfeld joke about the Chineese ‘sticking with the chopsticks’ – “They’ve seen shovels & pitchforks, but they’re sticking with the chopsticks!”

    It is amazing that a person can complete a $100-150K college education and the only way they see to effect change in the world around them is by squatting in a public park.

    The OWS folks fail to realize that the one common thread that runs through all the ‘Arab Spring’ conflicts was the overthrow of a brutal dictatorship that had been in power for decades. The purported goal of each ‘Arab Spring’ uprising was to adopt a representative government more like ours here in America, yet the OWS folks want to destroy our form of government to be more like the ones destroyed in the ‘Arab Spring’ uprisings.

    They are arrogant enough to think they can do it better, and their shoddy education diesn’t give them the ability to see the flaws in their argument…

  • Ron Kean

    First, 99% of deeply religious people I know admit that biblical creation is allegorical or that there is something about the story they don’t quite understand. Rather than throw the baby out with the bathwater, they (we) teach the story to our kids.

    Secondly, OWS and spin-offs are all about envy and hate. These are components of evil which religious people are taught exists as opposed to some thinkers who will give evil doers the benefit of the doubt.

    The OWS craze is all about violent overthrow of anything that the violent people don’t have and want to take. Just like that.