This Just In: War Breaks Out — Thank You, God

Every now and then a war breaks out that is actually fun to watch. The kind of war where you’re hoping both sides lose.  Thankfully, such a war has now erupted, and right here in the United States of Entertainment.  On one side is a man who gives the term “nut job” a bad name.  On the other, a man who gives the term “Al Gore” a bad name.

Yes, fans of chaos, this is the war pitting Keith Olbermann against Al Gore; a war between the biggest name on Current TV (which is like calling somebody the tallest midget in the room) and the Nobel Peace Prize winner who co-founded the left-wing network.  If this were a movie it would be called “Dumb and Dumber, the Sequel.”

Olbermann worked for Current TV until a few weeks ago when he got fired for, among other things, not showing up to work.  Hey, give the poor guy a break. He was making only $10 million a year.  Not one to tolerate injustice, he sued Current TV seeking as much as $70 million for lost wages over the life of his contract and for an equity stake in the company that was part of the allure to get him to sign.

Just the other day, thing got interesting. Current TV fired back.  It counter-sued Olbermann, claiming, as one news report put it, that, “he failed to perform his duties for the progressive television network and saying it does not owe him ‘a dime’ of the millions Olbermann claims he is owed.”

Before we move on, let’s remember that Gore (and Current TV’s co-founder Joel Hyatt) hired Olbermann knowing full well that he was a time bomb with horned rimmed glasses, that he was an escapee from a mental institution – that institution going under the name MSNBC.  So Al Gore makes a chuckle-headed move like that and we’re supposed to trust him when he says global warming is going to destroy the planet?  Forgive me if I’m skeptical.

One of my favorite pastimes is watching progressives get ugly.  I mean, they’re so compassionate most of the time, right? And that’s the best thing about the Olbermann-Gore War – the pure, rotten nastiness of it all.

After he got dumped, Olbermann fired a broadside against Gore and Hyatt saying in his lawsuit that there were so many technical problems at their network that it looked like “an unprofessional cable-access show.”  Ouch!

Here’s what the network’s lawyers put in their counter-suit against Olbermann: “Current seeks a determination that it is no longer obligated to pay a dime to Mr. Olbermann who, having already been paid handsomely for showing up sporadically and utterly failing to keep his end of the bargain, now seeks to be paid tens of millions more for not working at all.”

Olbermann apparently got so sick of the Mickey Mouse operation at Current TV that he went AWOL.  According to the lawsuit against him, he worked only 19 of 41 business days in January and February and refused to work on the network’s primary election coverage. Question:  Why should he have to work on election coverage?  After all, he was only in charge of NEWS at Current TV.

But Olbermann’s lawsuit says, “After being on the air for nearly eight months — long after all ‘growing pains’ should have ceased — Current still couldn’t manage to, literally, keep the lights on.”

Maybe, but the counter-suit says that Olbermann was a giant pain in the ass, that he rejected seven limousine companies, that he refused to cooperate in promotional discussions and that he took vacations with little notice. The suit also claims that Olbermann got especially annoyed one time and threw a glass mug on the set.

After reading the charges and the counter charges, I came to a conclusion:  There is a God.  And He likes me.  He really, really likes me!  Why else would he let this show go on?

One more thing: Each night, Keith Olbermann, the biggest star on Current TV, attracted 177,000 viewers.

I had more people at my Bar Mitzvah.

Please God, don’t let it stop.

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  • Brian

    LMAO! Horned glasses? The Mental Institution known as MSNBC? (So true.)

    This is one of the funniest articles that Bernie has ever written. Olbermann should join the Occupy Movement. After all, they both want free stuff from the government without going to work. LMAO!


  • DocHarleyWood

    “showing up sporadically and not holding up his end of the bargain”?  Sounds like Congress and the president.

  • Christopher Matthews

    Thier is a GOD.
    when i herd that he was fired from MSNBC,That was great and now he is gone from Current TV, I am beside my self.
    Even the far left and dem’s an Progressive,s and especially all American’s that can’t stand this Hate- Monger.
    That says something !!!!
     Now all we have to wait for the rest of MSNBC and Current TV and all the other Leftist Proparganda Machines to fall by the waist side.

  • Bob Ziegler

    Bernie, May God Bless You.

  • Paul Courtney

    Bernie:  Yes, He is a good and gracious God.  I’m enjoying imagining what’s next for Keith O.-Is he the first person ever “fired” from facebook for having too few “friends”? Will he be forced to get his word out to his followers by phone tree (quite manageable for 12-15 followers)?  Will Ms. Madow stop returning his calls (the ultimate betrayal)?  I see him on a milk crate (recyclable), on the fringe of an “Occupy” rally, dressed in shirt, tie, boxers and socks, yelling at all the “sell-outs”.

  • jean-luc Picard

    Hey, Mr Gore,
    Jeanine Garofolo is still available. Maybe you can also entice Chris Matthews and/or Rachel Maddow to come over to the dark(er) side.

  • Kevin McDonald

    Its so funny, and you could not make this stuff up.

    • Bruce A.

      Spot on.  Keith is even too nutty for the nuts at current TV. 

  • FloridaJim

    I pray God gives you your wish.

  • Dave Koffer

    Keith Odormann is a vile, radical, evil, lying, pathetic left-wing blowhard extremist jerkoff!!   He is the worst person in the world EVERY DAY!!  GOOD RIDDANCE!!

  • Michael

    I just heard that Fox News hired Santita Jackson, daughter of professional race hustler Jesse and admirer of Reverend Wright.  Since Fox has apparently forgotten who “brung ’em” to the dance and made them #1, why not go ahead and alienate us completely and hire Olbermann?

    • Juliet

      Good idea- since they have recently punished their viewers with the sneer/smirking, snarky, rolling-her-eyes-at-the-stupidity-of-conservatives, odious Sally Kohn. The hits keep coming…

      • Michael

        With you on Sally Kohn. I can’t stand to watch or listen to her.

        I am losing interest in Fox and relying more on the web and talk radio. Fox used to be hard-hitting, analytical, and unafraid. Now they seem more interested in being “accepted” by the New York Times and the three free Socialist networks; faces with empty smiles spitting out lightweight entertainment for the masses, faces turning to frowns or other expressions meant to express concern and deep thought as they introduce stories about racial equality, bowing to every leftist and weirdo available for comment, and hiring people who really wish they were working for CNN or MSNBC. 

        Thank goodness for the web and radio.  Of course, that explains why the government persists in pushing for control of internet content, as well as trying to tie up the radio waves with leftist propaganda by pushing the issue with a name that would make the most capable communist propagandist proud:  The Fairness Doctrine.  

  • EddieD_Boston

    Two idiots. Misery likes company.

  • Brian_Bayless

    I never knew that Olberman was the voice of the Liberals. Isn’t that like saying Glenn Beck is the voice of the conservatives.

  • Curved Space

     Such razor-thin budgets that Current TV couldn’t always always keep the current flowing to the lights, and now will have to buy their own lens cleaning fluid without KO’s most valuable contribution, spittle flecks. Could break them.

  • michael curran

    Current TV the most obscure TV viewing in the past fifty years. Do they still use the Indian test pattern?

  • Terry Walbert

    Is Current TV part of the Witness Protection Program?

  • Drew Page

    Bernie  —  You are right, this is the best news I’ve read in months.  Not only is it entertainment, it gives credence to the bromide “What goes around, comes around.”  this will keep me grinning for months.

  • Bob Hadley

    Yes, this levity is much needed.  I was beginning a let-down after the rush from the Republican  primary clown shows, er um I mean debates. 

  • robin in fl

    hahahaha..I LOVE it…any network that was dumb enough to hire mad dog OLBER man isn’t very smart IMO….I LOVE seeing KO get KO’d…what an arogant,self absorbed ,narcissist,nutcase of a man..(and those are the nice words I can think to describe him)

        AL G never really bothered me as a person,I always figured he mat be a pretty nice guy,BUT when I saw who he hired on his network,I just couldn’t wait to see how it would go down.

       yes Bernie it is quite fun to watch. BTW..even when I was a liberal I COULD NOT stand olbermann..just sayin’…

  • Gwiliffejr

    Bernie one of your best articles. I never could stand Olbermann and I stopped watching football games with his so called commentary.Bill used to lay into him from time to time but he has been quiet so far I am sure he is gloting though.

  • Brhurdle

    I don’t think that rational people can take much solace in the self induced implosion of these radicals since I think all but the most extreme leftists have tired of their unreasonable behavior. It’s best just to ignore them while they fade into obscurity.

  • MiriamShoshana

    Chag Sameach, Bernie . Too funny….Think I’ll stick to asking Hashem to protect K’Lol Yisroel…

  • SteveInTexas

    Come on Bernie, don’t gloat … Just kidding, have at it of course.

  • Ted Wight

    For Liberals none of which have any shred of a sense of humor this is a welcome departure from gloom and doom, end of the world pontifications.  Ha, ha, ha.  I always thought the Left funny.  But dangerous. 

  • beniyyar

    Come on Bernie, you made this up as a parody!  Really, you mean that two adults, one a former Vice President of the United States of all things, actually behaved like this?  You know, the expression ” you can’t make stuff like this up?”  This is a case where it really applies!

  • Jamal

    Schadenfreude, it’s supposed to be bad but can feel so gooood.
    Fight on Keith and Al. Fight on.

  • thatsitivehadenough

    Let’s hope that whatever they have, it’s highly contagious and spreads through the entire leftist movement.  I love it when they show how much they really hate each other.  Especially when they are part of the 1%.  OWS should love this.

    • Drew Page

      Now if we can just get Pelosi and Reid into a similar tussle, or maybe Eric Holder and the left side of the Supreme Court.  It would be icing on the cake.

  • Hoosierdaddy500

    Keith who?  Al Who?  I had happily forgotten both of them until you wrote this article, Bernie.  Gee, thanks.

  • genann59

    BTW – I loved this article so much I had to share it with several friends. This was a class article, one of your best of recent, Mr Goldberg, and all of your’s are good. Well, all but one or two I’ve read, that I had to differ with you on. Pretty good rate of agreement.

  • Vince Ricardo

    I don’t understand. Olbermann wants to get paid for not working and the Gore-backed Current TV network has/had a problem with it? Isn’t that Left Nirvana?

  • Ginger

    Gee, you mean that just because I have a job , I actually have to work? Boy, what a bummer .

  • genann59

    Mr. Goldberg, yeah, I’m loving it also. And, like you, hope it doesn’t stop soon. Love to see those loons go at each other over who is the most incompetent idiot. On Current’s part, like you said, they knowingly hired a nut case, on the other guy’s part, he IS a known bona fide NUTCASE. Like you said sequel to Dumb and Dumber.

  • Jshirk55

    You are a hoot Bernie. I always eagerly await your articles. I also love watching this war.

  • Will Swoboda

    As usual, you hit a home Bernie. I’ve always questioned anyone, myself included, who couldn’t laugh at themselves. Oberman and Gore just need to take their meds and have a laugh every now and then.
    Thanks Bernie,
    Will Swoboda

  • Jcrides

    Good piece.  Two nuts in the same bag!  They just can’t figure out which way to go, stay in the sac or head for the prostate.
       Jack Cox

  • Jeff Metz

    LOL Great piece Bernie!  I wrote on this very subject on my site recently.  What our buddy Keith does not get is the fact that he can not simply go after a politicians policies.  He has to make it personal and most folks won’t go for that long.  The nastiness is flying over there at Current TV and it is a direct reflection of that same attitude. 

  • Randy

    Now this IS an example of the chickens coming home to roost!!!! Lord forgive me but I do love it so!

  • Bruce A.

    Keith got fired.  Maybe he should blame Bush.

  • Sharon

    Bernie, your delight in the absurdity of the entire situation makes me smile… with you. Great piece of writing. You made me chuckle. 

  • Michael

    I’m really out of touch.  I don’t think I ever heard of Current TV until they fired Olbermann.  I was aware that AlGore (a.k.a. manbearpig) had started some kind of media outlet – I thought it was only accessible online – but I didn’t know what it was called.

    Current TV should fill Olbermann’s time slot with a live view of Arctic glaciers.  Probably get more viewers.  There’s always the chance we could see a couple of polar bears mating.

    • Ron Kean

      I don’t know about any manbearpig but a massage therapist who said Gore attempted to rape her called him a ‘crazed sex poodle’ not too long ago.

      • Michael

        Sorry.  I should have said Al Gore saved us from ManBearPig, rather than “is” MBP.  If you’re not familiar with MBP, and Al Gore’s fight to save a disbelieving world from destruction, see the documentary:

  • B In TN

    A war of integrity without ammo on either side..Ha!

  • Ron Kean

    Just like the good old Dan Rather days.  

    The question is, who were those 177,000?  They were snarling and foaming at the mouth fans of Keith Olberman.

    He gets The Worst Talk Show Host In The World award and that’s saying something in a field of Laurence O’Donnell, Chris Matthews, Martin Basheer, Ed Schultz and Al Sharpton…all shining lights of the Left.

    • genann59

       At least half of the viewers were conservatives waiting for him to make one of his ridiculous remarks so they could then put it on the internet to show us what we all know, he is a lunatic. By the conservative reviewers watching him and then telling us what the jerk said, they more than doubled his remarks getting out. As with someone above, although I did know Current TV exists, I do not even know if my cable service provides it and the only time I see or hear anything about what goes on there is when a conservative puts it out for us. At least this time it is very amusing to watch what B in TN accurately describes as “A war of integrity without ammo on either side.” Well put, B in TN.

  • Carterthewriter

    This couldn’t happen to a better pair of swindlers. Great read, Bernard.