Today, Georgetown; Tomorrow, the World

Recent events inspired Burt to write this bonus article for you. After you’ve read this one, be sure to read the scheduled article, A Potpourri for Our Time.

By this time, anyone who’s interested knows that Sandra Fluke wasn’t just another young law student at Georgetown, but in fact was a 30 year old left-wing political activist who enrolled at the Catholic university in order to crusade on behalf of publicly funded contraception and abortion.

Because the 800-pound gorilla of conservative radio, Rush Limbaugh, made the mistake of calling her a few names, he turned this otherwise insignificant ditz into the media’s idea of a martyr. Unlike Joan of Arc, however, the only voice Ms. Fluke heard in her head was her own, which, being a liberal, she naturally assumed was God’s.

Her sleazy motives for enrolling at a Catholic school aside, she made a terrible spokeswoman for Obama’s war on matters of conscience and religious freedom. Even if you are one of those airheads who agree with Obama that his frontal attack on the 1st Amendment is really all about women’s health, you should be annoyed with Fluke. For one thing, the tuition at Georgetown runs $45,000-a-year, meaning that three years of Law School is running her, or, more likely, her folks, $135,000, not counting room and board. Whatever your politics may be, it’s pretty hard to imagine that whoever is writing the checks to Georgetown can’t also afford to pay for her birth-control pills.

For another thing, she even lied about the cost. She whined that if the federal government, otherwise known as the taxpayers, didn’t supply her with free pills, the three year cost would be $3,000. Frankly, I had no idea if that was true, but to me, the difference between $135,000 and $138,000 seemed rather inconsequential, and certainly nothing that called for a congressional hearing. However, after doing a little research, I found that a six-month supply of Yasmin, a popular generic birth-control pill, runs $89.98, plus shipping. Which means that, instead of $1,000 a year, the cost would be $179.96, and while we all know that shipping isn’t always as cheap as we’d like, it’s highly unlikely that it would run Ms. Fluke anything close to $820.04-a-year.

In other words, while Ms. Fluke is probably not a slut or a prostitute, as Limbaugh suggested, she is certainly a great big fibber. And if I were her parents, I’d certainly want to know why she is leading such an active sex life when she should be hitting those expensive law books.

Speaking of Mr. Limbaugh, in the wake of the media firestorm that greeted his inflammatory words, several of his radio advertisers jumped ship before trying to jump back aboard. However, the biggest problem with reacting too quickly in these situations is that it calls attention to sponsors in ways they’d much rather avoid. For instance, one of the advertisers that leapt before it looked is Carbonite. Before turning the spotlight on itself, all that we knew is that it was one of those companies that provides backup for computers.

But by jumping into the brouhaha, it led some of us to discover that its president is a guy named David Friend, who’s been a generous contributor, it turns out, to the presidential campaigns of Al Gore, John Kerry and Barack Obama, as well as to George Soros’ What’s more, Mr. Friend, whose bizarre sense of chivalry compelled him to rush to Ms. Fluke’s defense, continued advertising on Ed Schultz’s show even after that goof referred to Laura Ingraham as a slut.

If I were Mr. Friend, I think I would be making an appointment with a vocational guidance counselor. After all, when you’ve been personally responsible for thousands of Rush Limbaugh’s fans finding a non-Carbonite way of protecting their computer files, it’s time to turn in your keys to the corner office and the executive bathroom.

Next to anticipating Mitt Romney’s victory over Barack Obama, my favorite pastime this year is watching Democrats carving up their liberal colleagues as a result of redrawn districts. I have already written about the blood-letting I witnessed when Rep. Brad Sherman went mano-a-mano with Rep. Howard Berman out here in Los Angeles. The only thing that could have improved the event is if it had been held in an arena filled with lions.

More recently, we’ve had the spectacle of Rep. Dennis Kucinich battling and losing a primary to longtime liberal House ally, Marcy Kaptur. Best of all, in the aftermath, we got to hear him whining about all her dirty tricks.

Frankly, I’ll miss Kucinich. After all, even for a liberal, he achieved notable distinction as a buffoon. As far back as 1977, when he was the 31-year-old mayor of Cleveland, he got national attention when Cleveland became the first major city since the Great Depression to go bankrupt.

During his 16 years in Congress, proving that Cleveland was no fluke, he helped the Democrats do their level best to bankrupt the United States. In 2008, during his bid to win the Democratic nomination, he decided to mention that he had seen a UFO. When skeptics weighed in, he defended himself by pointing out that Jimmy Carter had also seen one. Being Dennis Kucinich, he failed to understand that most sane people would more likely believe that Carter had arrived here on a UFO than that he had merely seen one.

Finally, just when I had given up trying to figure out why, if gold just keeps getting more and more valuable, all those guys on TV are so anxious to exchange it for worthless greenbacks, I started hearing from people trying to get me to invest in diamonds. What I’d like to know is what makes them such a great buffer against inflation. After all, the value of an item is generally determined by its scarcity. Well, since every day, diamond miners are digging up a new supply, and, as we’ve been told for decades that diamonds are forever, it strikes me that their price should be going down, not up. It’s only common sense.

The only thing I can figure out is that they’re waiting for me to invest before the diamond market finally adjusts and the price of carats becomes the same as that of carrots.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write!

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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • Dan Foley

    Rush did step in it. As though it WAS about contraception (or at least the activity calling for it) rather than who can be forced to pay. Amusing take on this:

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Wil: I don’t think most of the folks who are speaking out against ObamaCare or Ms. Fluke are really lined up against birth control. They are opposed to a nanny state and in favor of personal responsibility. I hadn’t heard about Newt’s Viagra; thanks for sharing.

    Joy: Let’s have none of that sex talk. Some of us have an image to maintain.


  • Wil Burns

    Since, Limbaugh is obviously impotant (the bottle of illegal Viagra pills found in his suitcase going through customs) and sterile (4 wives, no children) AND, he will have no reason to contemplate this, but I would like to introduce TWO WORDS to the MALE population that is supporting this insanity against Birth Control –


  • Joy F Friedberg

    Fluke could have opted to devote herself to her studies and stop schtupping, or indulge in the myriad of sex acts that do not lead to conception and are imminently satisfying.

  • Florida Jim

    “Insignificant ditz” that works better than “slut” yet both are accurate.The 60’s women demanded abortion as birth control, which says well their mindset, to have sex with as many as possible which is what Rush said thinking that Fluke didn’t want unlimited free birth control because she was celibate.The liberal women and media seem to decide which adjective rules for the day -Bush was stupid and a liar where Obama is a studious command-in -chief.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Roadmaster: If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: What the world needs more of are ignorant, misogynistic, cavemen.


  • Shane

    Well you didn’t include the costs of condoms in the $1,000/year claim by Miss Fluke. She must have so many lovers that she is buying 5 or 6 condoms a day. SO perhaps, Limbaugh was right about her!

  • DOOM161

    Even Planned Parenthood prices birth control pills at $150 – $600 a year. And let’s face it, Planned Parenthood sells birth control to a government that will pay almost any price for anything.

    This means that Ms. Fluke is either a liar, or isn’t smart enough to shop around. And if she isn’t smart enough to shop around for something she buys regularly, Georgetown Law School needs to seriously revise its admission standards.

  • CyberCipher’s Collie

    My master and I have talked it over and we have agreed that we are willing to pay to have Sandra Fluke sterilized. We are making this one-time offer primarily because neither of us wishes to pay for her abortions — which is what we expect her to be asking us to pay for next.

  • Roadmaster

    I listen to Rush every day, just as I read every one of Burt’s columns, so I guess that makes me an ignorant, misogynistic caveman to a self-aggrandizing, feminazi, put up job like Ms. Fluke. I am not so dumb that I cannot see the blatant double standard and hypocrisy of the Left and also sure millions of other people who don’t consider themselves conservative, see it too.

    What continues to pain me most is that the only group specifically named in the Constitution (Free Press, aka legacy media) has completely turned their back on their mandate; keeping watch on those in power and holding them accountable, and instead thrown in with those seeking ALL power over we the people.

    Anyone who enables this unholy alliance, such as Mr. Friend of Carbonite, deserves all the shunning and scorn we can heap upon them.

    P.S. Rush deserves a small measure of scorn for descending to liberal levels and taking their bait. They weren’t looking to catch a big fish, but they did and now we have to endure the idiotic spectacle of Hanoi Jane and Gloria Steinem (she’s still alive?) calling for Rush to be censored (unconstitutional) and forced off the air. Won’t happen but of course, that’s not their aim – it’s the time tested Alinsky tactic of picking the target, freezing it, and polarizing it.

    Rush was an unthinking “volunteer” on this one and I would expect that next time he would untie half his brain he keeps “tied behind his back (just to make it fair)” and continue to blow up the lunacy of the Left, which he is so adept at doing.

    • Dave O’Connor

      Roadmaster, I agree with you on “Rush deserves a small measure of scorn for descending to liberal levels and taking their bait.”
      Actually, I’d say Rush deserves the greater lump for this mess. He raised her to a higher stage than she had; now inviting more criticism from the liberal chic.
      However, that’s the risk in today’s dialoguing. No sooner has someone spoken than someone else’ shoe get shoved in his mouth.
      Just think of this woman: The supercilious, self-indulgent, created celebrity status Ms. Flucke and the image of herself she has offered has been lost from the issue. (Anyone remember the Lewinsky jokes?)

  • Dave Koffer

    There are PLENTY of new advertisers waiting in line to sign up for Rush’s show!!!! Rush is right, and he has absolutely nothing to worry about!!!! The only thing is is that he NEVER should have apologized to this “female law student” in the first place, since he had absolutely nothing to apologize for!!!!! RUSH IS RIGHT!!!!!

    • Glen Stambaugh

      He should apologize for acting like a liberal… it did not help the cause and Rush would be first to say so.

  • JP

    The liberals attempted to intimidate us also when a scathing letter we wrote to a senator from RI wound up in the hands of the FBI, who then paid us a little visit. A simple complaint (strongly worded, but not threatening) to Mr. Whitehouse about his support of ObamaCare, prompted him to teach us a thing of two and he referred us to Homeland Security. The agent agreed it was a waste of his time, but he had to pay us a visit even though he agreed we were not threatening. They waste our tax dollars and will use any means to shut up, even parading a liberal dunce like Fluke around to intimidate women into expecting a free ride when it comes to birth control.

    • Terry Walbert

      JP, what did you write. You should show more respect than to disagree with your betters. Senator Whitehouse, like the current governor of Connecticutt, Lincoln Chafee, was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and a gold thermometer up his arse.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Wally: My note to Yahoo would have no more impact than your own. Keep in mind that nobody forced them to name their company Yahoo. In “Gulliver’s Travels,” the Yahoos were a race of ignorant brutes.

    Dave: I think we all know what her role at Georgetown was. The wonder is that this Obama mole had to wait until her third year of law school before she could reveal her true purpose. But that’s the way it is with moles.

    Nancy: I take it you’re referring to me. In which case, I am at a loss, as I have never had reason to attack anyone who has attacked Rush Limbaugh. Inasmuch as I don’t listen to his show, I very much doubt if I have ever even mentioned him in an article. I only mentioned him this time because he made the mistake of diverting attention and rancor from Ms. Fluke to himself. Even my earlier comment to G. Daylan about Rush was hardly in the form of an attack.


  • Dave O’Connor

    Citing from your article, Burt: “Whatever your politics may be….” Raises for this rather pedestrian sort; what was her goal at Georgetown?
    I can only imagine what ‘reasonable accomodations’ her future employers will be faced with as they have to justify ‘billable hours’ in their fees. ‘Innovations’ and court arguments in ‘pillow-talk’?
    But, as you note, her accounting system fully qualifies her for a role in DC; “…..instead of $1,000 a year, the cost would be $179.96”.

  • wally

    Great article Burt. I especially enjoyed your second paragraph and the voice she hears. Burt perhaps you also can convince Yahoo that its inclusion of a terrible inclusion of a vile definition of Santorum’s name be removed from their site. Your voice would have much more impact on Yahoo than if I threaten them with leaving their site. Which I may do.

  • Nancy

    Rush is a big clueless idiot regardless how you try to attack everyone else that points it out. Men who have no clue of female reality should not be making policy or comments. Hopefully any woman that has sex w Rush…uses birth control.. Or idiot control

    • Randy

      Female Reality? You mean like you don’t live in the same world with us cavemen?

      Way to state your position without tearing anyone down!

    • Dave Koffer

      Wrong Nancy, wrong!!!!! YOU’RE the clueless idiot since you obviously think it’s okay for the American taxpayer to pay for fluke’s sex life….this so-called “woman” has a whole history of radical left-wing activism which no doubt I’m quite sure you aapprove of!!! If she’s so busy having sex when she should be studing at this expensive law school which she could no doubt afford, then, damnit, let her pay for her own goddamn contraception, it’s only $9/month at any drug store!!!!! But don’t you dare tell me I have to pay for it, you stupid idiot!!!!!! RUSH IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, SHE IS A SLUT AND A PROSTITUTE and a fake, phony, fraud hypocrite to boot!!!!! You are obviously too stupid and moronic to know that we have FIRST AMENDMENT in this country WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!! Furthermore, what this “woman” wants to do goes against the teachings and morals and values of the Catholic Church, which is then a violation of Separation of Church and State IN REVERSE!!! It is also a violation of the U.S. Constitution!!!! Rush is absolutely correct in his analysis of this so-called”female law student”!!!! God, are you dumb, Nancy!!!!!

      • Nancye

        I hope none of you mistake that Nancy with me – spelled Nancye.

  • Roxiebell

    Great article I loved it. In Ms Flukes case, or as I like to call her “Ms Flake”, didn’t she say she was on a scholarship, I thought I heard her say that during her shameless (begging & demanding) testimony but I could be wrong but in any case someone is paying her way and it would be nice if they DEFUNDED her tutition or if Georgetown expelled her wouldn’t it?

  • Eliot Ness

    The Carbonite Titanic is doomed to sink with or without Rush.

    Its own SEC reports show that this dot-com disaster loses $2 million per month and has vaporized $100.4 million since 2007.

    Leftist CEO David Friend has merely steepened Carbonite’s glide path to a violent crash landing when its cash runs out.

    Limbaugh is better off without them!

    • Paul Borden

      Now I’m worried about my computer backup!

    • Terry Walbert

      Not to worry. This sounds like a green energy company that just needs a few billion from the Department of Energy.

  • Terry Walbert

    As for the Republican “War on Women,” Rush has already advised us Republican men to surrender.

    • Glen Stambaugh

      I’ve been a satisfied POW for many years.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Bruce A: I’m Burt Prelutsky and I approve your message.

    G. Daylan: I agree that Rush could be the poster boy for pomposity. Although I appreciate what he has done for conservatism in America, it’s hard to look or listen to him without perceiving him as a liberal caricature of a right-wing, cigar-puffing, blowhard.


    • Michael

      Burt, I wonder . . . could much of Rush’s success be because he doesn’t try to conform to what a liberal would find acceptable?

  • Bruce A.

    Good one Burt. It seems there is always a knee jerk reaction as in the case of Ms. Fluke. Very few wait for the facts before they pass judgement. Btw, I think only liberals should use birth control & I am willing to pay for that.

    • Nancye

      And I’ll help you – lol!

  • G. Daylan

    Limbaugh was always bragging about his great brain but he took the Democrat’s bait and ran with it like the biggest sucker in world. Pompous people are funny when they get taken like that. Democrats carving each other up and then whining about dirty tricks?? That’s what Democrats like to do (Clinton complained about the “politics of personal destruction” while Stephanopolis dug up any dirt that he could manufacture and Obama wants to change the campaign rhetoric while he calls Republicans cruel and heartless.)

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