Voting “No” on Voting

Before we even get close to November 6, 2012, I’d like to suggest that everybody pledge not to pressure their friends and neighbors to get out and vote. There is absolutely nothing un-American about staying home and minding your own business on Election Day.

I, for one, am sick and tired of hearing about all the brave Americans who fought and died so that we’d be free to vote. What those good people actually fought for was the freedom to vote, not the obligation. It is the freedom not to vote that is denied to slaves. It’s only when dictators are in charge that people are compelled to go through the motions. The likes of Fidel Castro, Joseph Stalin and the Stalin wannabe, Saddam Hussein, never had to worry about chads and miscounts. When those guys got out the vote, they got out the vote!

I can certainly understand why the two major parties want everybody showing up on Election Day. After all, each side is convinced, after losing an election, that if only 100% of the electorate had shown up and done their duty, the right guy — their guy — would have won. But they’re in the business. What’s in it for us?

Please understand that I am not writing this in my own defense. It so happens that I vote every chance I get. In fact, having been born in Chicago, I subscribe to the belief that I should vote early and often. I mean, I’m good at it. I can be trusted. There I am, faithfully watching CNN and FoxNews, reading a daily newspaper, keeping up on things political, and then, come Election Day, some lunkhead who’s spent the past four years watching wrestling on TV and reading Hustler gets shamed into voting, and he winds up canceling out my vote! Is that fair? Is that just? More importantly, is it good for America? I think not.

What possible good can come from the 50-60% of the electorate that prefers to sit things out on Election Day being herded like so many sheep to the polls? I mean, if you think the politicians we elect now are inept, lazy and corrupt, can you imagine what we’re going to wind up with when really dumb people start voting in record numbers?

It’s bad enough that the Democrats are constantly looking to extend voting privileges to felons, illegal aliens and the deceased, without letting them get away with the pretense that a national ID card smacks of fascism. In a society that already takes drivers licenses, Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security, cards for granted, it is sheer poppycock to pretend that a national identity card would do anything but make it harder for deadbeat dads to ditch their families, for killers like Whitey Bulger to disappear into the ether and for Democrats to steal elections.

Frankly, I think we should all be ashamed of the fact that in America you have to prove who you are in order to rent a video at Blockbuster, but not to cast a vote in a presidential election.

Yes, I understand this is a democracy and that a double-digit IQ doesn’t disqualify anyone from voting — or from pursuing elected office, for that matter. But why on earth would anybody in his right mind want to encourage those sloths to foist their ignorance off on the rest of us?

Instead of pretending it’s our obligation to get every single numbskull to the voting booth on Election Day, it should be our patriotic duty to urge them to stay home and mind their own beeswax.

©2011 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write Burt!
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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • Giuseppe

    I think I read smerwhoee that the wet stuff falls on the just and the unjust alike! Let’s just hope that consciously or unconsciously the no on H8ters remember that the samurai does not dodge the rain drops!

  • Burt Prelutsky

    James: Being accused of aristocraticism is the least of my worries. Jefferson and Madison didn’t have to worry about voter fraud and having illegal aliens and the deceased determining election results. I’m far less concerned about the unwashed as I am about the unentitled. As for the biased media, I would only point out that in the two years since Obama was elected with the help of the major networks and newspapers, the Democrats have lost Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat, the governor’s mansion in Virginia and New Jersey, a half dozen seats in the Senate and 60 more in the House. If the media keeps doing its usual crackerjack job, the GOP will control the House, the Senate and the Oval Office, come January, 2013.

    Regards, Burt

    • James Miller

      Burt: I’m glad you’re not worried about “Aristocraticism” and you shouldn’t be because I know you are not. In fact, you make a very good point about the unentitled (although there was tremendous voter fraud that robbed Jackson of his first try for the Presidency – literally “stolen” from him) using some of the methods you just mentioned. You are also correct about the recent victories despite the media which leads me to believe that, perhaps, most average and true Americans see through all that liberal maze of intellectual feces. Anyway, you reassured me a little. Thanks. JAMES

  • Bjonz

    Burt aka Bert. “I know no safe depository of the ultimate powers of the society but the people themselves, (A)nd if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them, but to inform their discretion by education. This is the true corrective of abuses of constitutional power.” – Thomas Jefferson

    ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC and thousands of numbnut bloggers know that TJ was right. How then do we counter the “education” our nation receives 24/7 from these beacons of truth we call the lame er mainstream media?

    I know Fox, Bernie, yourself et al. are giving it a shot but, in effect, you are all voices crying out in the wilderness. Could it be that too many of our fellow Americans actually prefer BS over truth? Then what?

    • Addy

      THIS ISSSSSSSSS AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWESSSSOMEi love Miranda and Robert and Ashley and Chris. Me and my fernid are staying by the phone. This season is going to be better than last season WWWWWWwwwwwwoooooo

  • James Miller

    By the way, I must be one of those “doofuses” I was just talking about since I misspelled your name. BURT (See, I can learn too! Sorry…..)

    • CCNV

      Way to man up, James! A liberal would have said Burt spelled his name wrong!

      • Alejandro

        Tim, How would we go about dtnicteeg these problems? Would we see divergence of polls with final results? Or are these for small races than may not have comprehensive polling?

  • James Miller

    Although I love you Bert, and I hate to admit that you are perfectly right in what you say about the “sloths” and such, your column still smacks of “Aristocraticism” that Thomas Jefferson and James Madison tried so hard to defeat. Andrew Jackson came into office by getting out the vote of the massive “unwashed” and whether you liked him or not, he is still considered one of our greatest Presidents. I wouldn’t worry so much about these folks (which I do) if we didn’t have such a huge liberally-biased media (print, TV, and showbiz)because these doofuses would at least get some of the right messages and possibly come to some semblance of a right (or better informed) decision.

  • Mark Rhoades

    As my late father, a brilliant but simple federal judge used to say: The world is being run by C minus students.
    Being fully informed about current issues means that you cannot discuss those issues with 90% of your co-workers. They are, for the most part not interested in knowing about the important problems facing the country that affect their lives. If they do vote, and most don’t, they do so with with only a very superficial understanding of what they are voting about.
    We shouldn’t encourage such people to vote.




  • Burt Prelutsky

    Will: Bernie didn’t write this column; I did. I agree that “Slobbgering Love Affair” was very good, as is my book, “Liberals: America’s Termites.”

    Regards, Burt Prelutsky

  • Iklwa

    I am always amazed at is the democrat “Get Out the Youth Vote” drive.

    Let’s stop and think about this segment of our liberally indoctrinated, proletariat electorate:
    They have never, if ever, paid taxes from the profit of their own labor.
    They can tell you the names of BOTH partners in the top three places of Dancing With the Stars but can’t, even should their very lives depend upon it, tell you how many Supreme Court Justices of the United States sit at the bench.
    They can’t name the office Joe Biden holds or conversely who Joe Biden is.
    They loose their house keys with sickening regularity.
    Most can not be entrusted with flushing the toilet with regularity…unless it really stinks.

    And democrats would have me believe this “important” segment of our population are the folks they want choosing the leader of the free world???

    The democrats set a record for getting these people to the poles in 2008. I know in my Leftist home state of Washington the collage vote, the homeless vote and the incarcerated vote helped to drag our now President and perennial Senator Murray across the finish line.
    Just look what lovely fruit the results of that effort produced.

    One must also remember that this democrat controlled state was somehow late in printing and mailing ballots to her military citizens overseas.

    This can only lead me to ask: Who is really playing to the lowest common denominator and for what reason?
    I submit ignorant shmucks are easy to manipulate and democrats are not above manipulation of the ignorant.

  • Nancye

    From the article:

    I mean, if you think the politicians we elect now are inept, lazy and corrupt,
    (((can you imagine what we’re going to wind up with when really dumb people start voting in record numbers?)))


    Geeeezzzzz – I thought they already did – and that’s how we got Obama. :(

  • ger

    Burt:- Those of us who live in Israel carry a small folder. In this is a small sheet of paper with a photo and some other pertinent information. We show this when we want to pay with a check for something (and it’s accepted), and when we vote, and if we are unfortunate enough to having been stopped for a traffic offense.

    And you know what? It doesn’t hurt a bit.

    • Bjonz

      ger, Not many people on this planet know the cost of freedom more intimately than an Israeli.

      Unfortunately, your post is effectively that of an adult speaking to children, but thank you.

  • Will Swoboda

    Good morning Bernie,
    Couldn’t be explained any better. I’ve always wondered why you need a photo ID for just about everything but if your an illegal alien, you seem to be excempt.
    Just finishing a “Slobbering Love Affair.” Very good.
    Your friend in Baltimore,