Winners & Losers

All in all, 2011 provided us with some pretty good news. For one thing, our military took care of Osama bin Laden and Anwar al-Awlaki, God got rid of Kim Jong-Il and, for good measure, Barney Frank finally got around to announcing his retirement.

Kim Jong-Il

It was to be expected that Jimmy Carter, who insisted on paying his last respects to the otherwise unlamented Yasser Arafat, was probably the only person in the civilized world demented enough to send his sincere condolences to North Korea on the passing of its longtime dictator, the aforementioned Kim Jong-Il. So it is that although Carter’s claim to the title of Worst President of the United States has been usurped by Barack Obama, Mr. Peanut retains clear title to being the Worst Ex-President of the United States.

Speaking of titles, I had been unaware until reading his obituary that among Kim Jong-Il’s own honorifics were Best Leader Who Realized Human Wisdom; Master of Literature, Arts and Architecture; Humankind’s Greatest Musical Genius: World’s Greatest Writer; and, contrary to Al Gore’s opinion, Greatest Man Who Ever Lived.

One of the titles I fully expected to see, but didn’t, was Greatest Golfer in the Universe. After all, even the likes of Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus, Phil Mickelson and Arnold Palmer, could only fantasize about shooting a round of 38 that included 11 holes-in-one. Although I have no reason on earth to doubt the North Korean news agency that reported such a miraculous round of golf, I have always wondered why Jong-Il required 27 shots to complete those other seven holes. I can only imagine that those damn little windmills threw him off his game.

An odd coincidence is that I believe 38 is the same score that Obama once reported bowling, a score that justifiably earned him the title of World’s Biggest Wienie.

Speaking of the man who is destined to take his place with the likes of James Buchanan, Warren G. Harding and Jimmy Carter, as America’s most inept one-term presidents, Obama has been accused of picking winners and losers in the business world by subsidizing the winners with our tax dollars. Furthermore, cynics claim that he selects them solely on the basis of the owners’ financial contributions to his re-election campaign. Pshaw! Even someone as openly partisan as I am can see how unjust that is. If that charge had any merit at all, Solyndra, as well as several other green energy concerns handpicked by this administration would be flourishing. So where, I ask on Obama’s behalf, are all these alleged winners? Instead, I say that Obama has exhibited the exact same questionable instincts when picking winners in the world of commerce that he’s shown in picking cabinet members, friends and religious mentors.

Finally, in all the squabbling between Republican presidential contenders, I have yet to hear anyone utter the unfortunate truth about Arabs and Muslims. For all the joyous blather that greeted the so-called Arab spring, the world has had no reason to rejoice over the results in Egypt, Libya or Syria. For their part, Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan, continue to be the same cesspools they were before America sacrificed blood and treasure in the hope of protecting one group of medieval terrorists from another.

In Saudi Arabia, one of our alleged allies in that part of the world, school textbooks continue to promote the official Islamic bilge that women are “weak and irresponsible,” that homosexuals “should be killed,” and that “the hour of judgment will not come until the Muslims fight the Jews and kill them.”

In the meantime, any Christian unfortunate enough to find himself in the Middle East is fair game for jihadists.

But all the while, we Americans are trained to parrot the lie, so often repeated by George Bush and Barack Obama, that Islam is a religion of peace and that America’s Muslims — in spite of Major Hasan’s murderous rampage at Fort Hood, the campaign to erect a victory mosque at Ground Zero, and the Muslims in Dearborn, Michigan, who, along with their friends and relatives in Gaza, celebrated on 9/11 — are every bit as benign and patriotic as the folks in the Tea Party movement.

Until we get a president who is willing to acknowledge that we are at war with Islamic fundamentalists; that Muslims played absolutely no role in the creation of the United States; that they are dedicated to a worldwide caliphate, whose primary goal would be the extermination of Jews and Christians; and that in any war waged between one Muslim sect and another, our place should be on the sidelines, cheering them on; we will continue being drawn into one bloody and ultimately futile enterprise after another.

©2011 Burt Prelutsky.Comments? Write!

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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • Burt Prelutsky

    cma: That is good news. I was beginning to worry about Canada after they put Mark Steyn on trial for religious insensitivity. Apparently our northern neighbor has come to its collective senses. Now if only we would follow their example.


    • cmacrider

      Burt: M. Steyn, one of the more articulate pundits, was the victim of some Human Rights Bureaucrats …. things seem different when you select “12 men or women from among your peers” to do the deciding. FYI.. there are some politicians talking about the abolition of their Human Rights Commissions in various Provinces ..

  • cmacrider

    Burt: Oh no .. Oh no … Oh no! Poor Adrian! The list of “bigots” has just grown exponentially. A Canadian jury of 12 just convicted a Muslim for a few measly honour killings of one of his wives and a couple of daughters. The Court sentenced him to the maximum of life imprisonment with no parole.

    Whatever is going to happen to “cultural relativity” and “moral equivalency”??????

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Shirl: The fact is, I hold Islam in such low esteem that the only way I would regard the members of our Muslim population as sane would be if they would convert to Christianity or Judaism.

    Gena: For me, the worst thing about Jimmy Carter these days is knowing that when he dies, the media will bury us in tributes to this piece of human excrement simply because he was once lucky enough to be elected president.


  • Gena Taylor

    Mr. Burt – man, you are on a roll with this article. Wish there were more journalists like you, Mr. Goldberg, and Ms Salazar, unafraid to tell it like it really is. It is SO refreshing to read an article that you don’t finish reading and say – more hand fed crap. Love your articles. PS – love how everytime people start to forget what a jerk Carter is, he manages to do something to remind them of that. It is almost like he can’t stand to allow people to think even remotely highly of himself.
    But when you remember his mother, his faith healing sister, who couldn’t save herself, and his brother Billie Beer Carter, you kinda have to understand where the DNA comes from that cause him to self destruct repeatedly.

  • Shirl

    I’m with you on this one, Burt. Of those 3 million Muslins in America that Adrian spoke of, how many do we see standing on the highest hill shouting how wonderful it is to be in America? A hand full of 3 million is not representative enough to convince me.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    Adrian: I suppose calling me a bigot was intended to hurt my feelings. These days, that is pretty much a badge of honor. It suggests that you have the nerve not to parrot politically correct bilge. Who else but American Muslims were financing Islamist terrorists after 9/11 until the F.B.I cracked down on those “charitable contributions”? After 9/11, I pointed out that if American Muslims didn’t want to be tarred, they should have been passing the hat in their mosques, raising reward money for Osama bin Laden, dead or alive. It never happened and I called them on it. If that makes me a bigot, so be it.


  • Adrian

    Mr Prelutsky,
    You are a bigot. There are somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 million Muslims in America and you cite a tiny fringe as evidence that the whole community is potentially dangerous. Let’s try this with other groups. Some Blacks are in gangs, so all Blacks are suspect. Some Italians are in the mob, so all Italians are suspect. Some Jews have spied for Israel so all Jews are suspect. I see no statistical evidence that a Muslim in America is more likely to kill you than any other group. You can always point to the fringe, but every group has them.

    • cmacrider

      Adrian: If you are going to call someone a bigot and argue by analogy you should try to find an analogous situation. Criminal law and violations by nation states are not analogous.
      I’m wondering whether if Canada started stoning persons alleged of adultery, beat up Muslims for not converting to Christianity, regularly lobbed missiles over the 49th parallel into the U.S., insisted on building a nuclear bomb to give us a little “leverage” against that nasty U.S.A. … whether we might not get a short visitation from the American military or whether you would just say most of those Canadians are nice guys so look the other way.

      Oh, I forgot were a country run by a bunch of “white guys” so that’s different.

      Try to remember Churchill was called “a bigot” and a “warmonger” because he had the audacity to call Chamberlain’s appeasement for what it was … an invitation to World War.

    • Gena Taylor

      Islam, by definition,calls its followers to hold Islam first in obedience, national identify or allegiance in far lessor importance. Therefore, if Islamic leaders support the cause of international domination by Islam, American Muslims have to choose Islam or American values. I do not see very many Muslims choosing American values over Islamic values. If they do, their fellow Muslims hunt them down and kill them like dogs, if their own parent(s) don’t beat them to it.
      BTW – your spell check thingie is great.

    • Jeffreydan

      “Tiny fringe” is a fair description of the % of terrorists in the Muslim population.
      However, it’s just as fair if you’re talking about the % of terrorists who attacked America who WEREN’T Muslim.

  • Iklwa

    When my kids were small, sometimes we would take them to the local arcade. One of the games that had broad appeal to all ages was “Wack a Mole”. Plastic varmints would poke their heads above the playing surface and the object was to smack as many on the head as possible with the provided hammer in an allotted time frame. All this was allegedly for points. I can never remember who won or even a high score. I do remember everyone who participated had fun and walked away with a flushed face.

    I have observed that discussions with liberals and leftists in general leave me feeling like I used to after a session of Wack a Mole. No matter what you hit them with, they never leave. No matter how persuasive the argument, they never once consider any point of view other than their own. No matter how many times you hit them, they always come back for more (I swear, they are multiplying!).

    The Obama administration is engaged in similar tactics used successfully by those same nefarious moles in that arcade. Their political buddies had been planning the assault on America for months prior to the election and indeed after the inauguration; wheels were set in motion on virtually every front, simultaneously. The public is transfixed by the “Healthcare Debate” while the EPA runs amok instituting regulations designed to crush heavy industry. Extensions of jobless benefits own the news headlines and money is funneled into corporate donor’s coffers.

    Meanwhile, the defenders of America only have one hammer to swing at all those pesky critters.

    One can only hope for our mutual salvation (or some semblance thereof) at the ballot box this November. For every one insane program or bill that gets stopped, thirty new regulations or taxes get passed. Yes, America is fighting back but at this rate life as we know it will be doomed.

    Our venerable enemies, the Chinese, used to execute prisoners in exactly the same way using a technique called “The Death of a Thousand Cuts”.

  • Burt Prelutsky

    DOOM 161: I titled chapter 4 of LIBERALS: AMERICA’S TERMITES “Islam is a Peaceful Religion, and If You Don’t Believe It, They’ll Cut Off Your Head.”


  • Burt Prelutsky

    Thank you, Michael.

    Bruce, neither did I. According to the media, Obama stormed bin Laden’s villa, personally put a bullet in bin Laden’s head and then piloted the helicopter back to Afghanistan.


    • Bruce A.

      Thanks for the laugh.

  • DOOM161

    Islam is the religion of peace, and they’ll kill you to prove it.

  • Michael

    Excellent, Burt!

  • Bruce A.

    Good one Burt. I did notice in the first paragraph you credited the military for the elimination of Bin Laden & Al Wacky. According to the media it was Obama & Obama was very eager to soak up the credit. I didn’t notice much of the media making that distinction.