You Call These Servants?

In the land of the blind, it’s said that the one-eyed man is king. In our own land, it seems that hypocrisy trumps sight. Americans, whose ancestors fought a war to free themselves of monarchs, now find themselves under the thumb of kings, queens, dukes and earls, who deign to pass themselves off as public servants.

Consider that in spite of a dire economy, Obama keeps adding White House staff. The number of fetch-and-carriers is now 454, at a cost to the taxpayers of $37 million-a-year. So, how about the next time the Obamas decide to host a gala for the well-heeled likes of Tom Hanks, Paul McCartney and Jerry Seinfeld, the guests at least pay for their own drinks?

On top of that, the taxpayers had to pony up $800,000, so that Michelle, her mom and the kids, could take a trip to Africa. No doubt they were anxious to see where Barack wasn’t born.

I can’t even count high enough to figure out what it’s costing us to finance Obama’s travels around the country so he can do the all-important work of campaign fund-raising.

Speaking of Obama, the Boston Globe, which even Chris Matthews can’t dismiss as a conservative smear sheet, recently came up with the news that Barack Obama, Sr., a notorious womanizer, tried to foist baby Barack off on the Salvation Army. So now, at long last, we actually know what his father’s dreams amounted to; not really all that different from Casey Anthony’s, it seems..

But, God knows, Barack Obama isn’t the only hypocrite holding down a good-paying job in Washington. What’s ironic is that politicians spend a few trivial hours with prostitutes and it ruins their reputations and sinks their careers, but they spend half their lives being wined and dined by lobbyists, and all it does is increase their chances of getting re-elected.

Come to think of it, it’s the prostitutes who have congressmen as clients who should be ashamed. One just naturally expects them to have higher standards than our elected officials.

I wouldn’t want you to get the idea that ours are the only politicians who should be horse-whipped in the public square on a regular basis. In the wake of Eric Holder’s latest calamity, the ATF debacle code-named “Fast and Furious,” which saw scores of guns sent to south of the border drug cartels, Mexican politicians have been bitching about our ignoring Mexico’s sovereignty. This is the same country that has spent decades doing all it can to encourage their poor, their illiterate and their criminals, to treat our sovereignty with the same respect one normally extends to used piñatas.

Recently, I wrote an article in which I made fun of gays for inventing a mental disorder they call homophobia as a way of demeaning those people who oppose same-sex marriages or are merely sick and tired of Gay Pride parades disrupting traffic. I don’t happen to know anyone who has an irrational fear of homosexuals. In the piece, I stated that gays were the only group that had the chutzpah to suggest that questioning their behavior was tantamount to a mental derangement.

Well, a reader reminded me that there is something Muslims and the media like to call Islamophobia. In rebuttal, though, I pointed out that Islamists are ignorant, blood-thirsty cretins, and there is nothing irrational about being terrified of these sociopathic Neanderthals. They are creatures, barely human, after all, who have apparently decided that having explosives surgically implanted in their bodies is one swell way of expressing their religious faith.

Finally, a question I am often asked is how it is that such arrogant, unappealing men, with such obnoxious personalities and grating voices, as Charles Schumer, Barney Frank, Harry Reid and Henry Waxman, can convince so many people to keep re-electing them. The simple answer is that they’re running against other politicians, who generally suffer from similar shortcomings.

It also explains why women who look and sound like Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Sheila Jackson Lee and Hillary Clinton, have been able to achieve such status and power in the wacky world of politics. But, to me, the truly amazing thing about these females is that, against all odds, their husbands weren’t devoured immediately after mating.

©2011 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write Burt!
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Author Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, Washington Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated. For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies. View Burt’s IMDB profile. Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker... and rarely cheats at either. He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Angel.
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  • Morior Invictus

    With a lack of History being taught, most Americans don’t know anything about the Royal Forests of England. The environmental laws have imprisoned the People of America just the same as it was back then. No longer the Land of the Free and Home of The Brave. We need to take back our Freedoms…

  • Burt Prelutsky

    M. Free: I don’t know why it is that a few visitors to Mr. Goldberg’s site assume that he writes everything that is posted when it is made very clear that others–usually Ms. Salazar and I–write many of the articles.

    Craig: The answer to your question is that dumb and corrupt politicians appeal to liberal voters because all they care about are political agendas. That is why such people as you named keep getting re-elected.

    Best, Burt

  • Craig A Cassen

    Well done!

    You’ve touched upon a very sore point with
    me—in do these clowns keep on getting

    I have yet to hear, or read, a rational
    explanation as to why this idiocy continues

    Charlie Rangel is re-lected in a landslide.

    Over 50% of Weiner’s constituency would vote
    for him again.

    In all seriousness, can anyone tell me what
    is going on around here?

    • Bjonz

      Mr. Cassen, we are right in the middle of the French revolution – part deux.

  • M. Free

    Don’t hold back,Bernie! Please tell us how you feel! Well said!

    • Clarence De Barrows


  • Nancye

    Good article. I’m overwhelmed with disgust by those mentioned in your column.

  • Will Swoboda

    Well said Burt. politicians are more unexplainable than the average mind can explain.
    Your friend in Baltimore,