You may not always – or ever – agree with what I write, but I’m always honest with you. You can count on that. So here’s the truth: It’s August. It’s hot. I’ve already received 400 Robo calls today and it’s only noon. I don’t feel like doing serious research – or really any research – to come up with a column many of you will hate.
So here’s something that will take me 10 minutes to write. And that’s 10 more minutes than I would like to spend at my computer today. If you don’t like it, have a nice day anyway.
I once wrote that if you want to lose faith in humanity all you have to do is read the online comments under a political column. And every day a few million imbeciles on the web prove my point.
There are several kinds of comments that will make you want to throw your computer in the ocean and cancel your Internet service.
There’s the no-frills hate kind. That’s where the person commenting blames everything wrong in the world on someone’s race, religion or sexuality. Someone once wrote this to me: “Wouldn’t it be great if I finished the job and baked your parents and grandparents? Then you wouldn’t be here.”
That’s a real note I received. Nice going, Adolf!
Then there’s the kind where sarcasm is the coin of the realm. I once said on TV that we live in a democracy. Actually, we don’t. We live in a republic. So I got this from someone who, it seems to me, is way too angry: “So are you just ignorant, or are you a traitor?”
I wasn’t sure so I didn’t respond.
There are also comments from incredibly dense people that miss the entire point of the column.
A while back I wrote about how some liberal journalists were blaming President Trump for what happened to Dr. David Dao on that United Airlines jet in Chicago. You may recall the doctor was dragged off the plane by airport police so United could make room for a pilot who needed the seat. I was (I thought) clearly pointing out how goofy some liberals can be – because they actually blamed President Trump for what United and the Chicago airport cops did.
I got more than a few angry comments accusing me – wait for it! — of bashing the president. Someone who said he’s been a doctor for four decades wrote, “Your post is really just a stretch too far. Don’t blame this one on Trump, your go to villain. … Maybe you should consider another profession! … As a physician I know all to well that there are standards for every profession, but perhaps not for writers as your post clearly shows.”
I thanked the many other people who rode to my defense pointing out the obvious – that the doctor should stay away from sharp objects, which may be a problem given his profession.
I also get lots of comments from people who have a direct line to God and say things like, “God is allowing all this terrorism because of same sex marriages, abortion, gambling just to name a few.”
I’ll bet more than a few of you reading that comment agree with it. Am I right?
And don’t ever say anything about guns that might offend gun owners. I once wrote that all rights come with limitations. I have a First Amendment right to freedom of speech but I can’t falsely yell fire in a crowded theater – and gun owners have a Second Amendment right to bear arms, but there are limits. You can’t own a surface to air missile, for example, I said.
Here’s something I received in response: “[You can’t yell] fire in a crowded movie because that violates the rights of others by putting them in danger. My ownership of a surface to air missile doesn’t endanger anyone.”
I’m betting more than a few of you agree with that too. Yes?
Then there are Donald Trump’s most loyal supporters — you know who you are — who are in a class all by themselves. If I write anything negative about their messiah – that he’s thin-skinned, or that he brags too much, or that he’s vindictive, or that he gets a lot of things wrong – they don’t simply disagree. This is from one of the president’s loyal fans: “Bernie, You have to be the stupidest analyst on Fox! … I hit Bernie hard in my post, because I have been listening to his tripe for months on O’Reilly and I am sick of his no talent anti Trump analysis … quite frankly he is a political hack.”
I know a lot of you agree with that!
That’s it. The end. Gotta run. I’m buying a surface-t0-air missile. Stay cool, my friends.