Dear Democrats

To put it mildly, it’s been an interesting week for your party and your loyalists. 

You impressively ran the table Tuesday, winning gubernatorial races in Virginia and New Jersey, along with many other state and local elections.  

Sure, those are predominantly Democratic states, but some of you feared the worst, which did not happen. 

Then, the very next day, some of your crazier adherents took to the streets to “Scream Helplessly at the Sky.” They were loudly lamenting the first anniversary of Donald Trump’s victory.  

The screamers seemed to be imitating the sound made by loons, which is appropriate.

It is now time to look ahead to next year and the midterm elections.  To capture the House and/or Senate, you’re going to need to win more than blue states like Virginia and New Jersey.  

First, you have to field candidates who can vanquish those dreaded Republicans in the middle of the country.  

Those are the places where people only scream at the sky when they are begging for rain to help the crops grow.  Where people work with their hands, where they only recognize two genders, and where they worship God, not government.

To win in these places, we hereby put forth two Words of the Year.  

One of them should be strenuously avoided; the other should be added to your lexicon. 

The first is “sanctuary,” as in sanctuary cities and states.   

When most Americans hear that term, they firmly believe you are protecting criminal immigrants, that you seem to care more about the rights of malefactors than ordinary citizens.  

And, you know what?  They’re often correct. 

Our morgues and cemeteries have far too many Americans who were killed by drunk drivers or other bad guys who were arrested and set free in a sanctuary city.   

According to a Harvard-Harris poll, 80% of voters believe local authorities should comply with federal law and help the feds, but way too many of your party leaders disagree.

You don’t need a phonetic guide for “sanctuary” because you use it so frequently.  However, our second Word of the Year is one you should learn to pronounce.  It’s “illegal.”  ih-LEE-gul.  Go ahead, try it, it rolls right off the tongue. You’ve been very reluctant to use the word, except when referring to Donald Trump’s presidency. 

If a person comes to this country without authorization or overstays a visa, he or she is here illegally.  Thus, the term “illegal immigrant” is absolutely accurate and not intended to offend anyone. But progressives at the New York Times say it is code for “racial and ethnic hatred,” while the venerable AP has actually banned the term. 

So if you have a candidate running for office in a state made up of mostly sane people, “illegal immigrant” is perfectly valid.  When politicians start spewing ridiculous terms like “undocumented,” “unauthorized,” or “future citizen,” they paint themselves as people whose primary concern is displaying their virtue. 

Of course, these rules are off the table for your candidates in coastal California, the Northeast, and a few other liberal enclaves.  So always use your discretion. 

One final thing.  Palestinians frequently use the word “Nakba,” which translates roughly into “catastrophe.” It’s their word for that day in 1948 when Israel became an independent state.  Far too many Palestinians have used that as an excuse for everything that is wrong with their economy and society.  Nearly 70 years after the fact, they seethe with anger and scream helplessly at Israel.

The Democratic Party has its own Nakba Day, November 8th, 2016.  But, unlike the Palestinians, you are already on the road to recovery, and Tuesday’s results will accelerate the healing process. 

Just don’t blame President Trump for everything and put forth some candidates who are patriotic and endowed with common sense.  

And remember: Those two little words, one to forget and one to remember, will serve you far, far better than screaming helplessly at the sky.