“If I Like Your Health Care Plan” and “The Piltdown Man Signs Up for Obamacare”

Years ago, I wrote a TV movie. It was that semi-mythical thing known as a docudrama. That means the basic premise was factual, but names were changed and, more importantly, characters and dialogue were invented so that you would sit there through the last commercial. As it happens, the movie was never produced, mainly because one set of NBC executives were fired and, typically, an inferior group was brought in to replace them.

In any case, the reason I am referring to “Johnson vs. the World” is because it applies to what is going on with the Affordable Care Act. An old man went in to a clinic to have his eyes checked out, but was told that his insurance policy no longer provided coverage for such exams. Instead, his insurers had “improved” his coverage behind his back by providing him with pre-natal care. In my movie, as in real life, the fellow sued and won a two million dollar judgment.

Today, we see Obama and his stooges deciding that people who were smart enough and successful enough to afford their own health insurance are too stupid to tell a good policy from a sack of manure. Instead, because the Democrats insist that any policy that doesn’t cover mammograms for men, pre-natal care for women in their 70s and substance abuse treatment for people who have never and would never use cocaine, booze or marijuana, have obviously been buying their insurance from someone selling policies from the trunk of his ’94 Buick.

And while everyone is transfixed on the disaster that the Affordable Care Act rollout has been, more attention should be paid to all the lies that Obama repeatedly told us. We should also note who is now defending the Liar-in-Chief. Kathleen Sebelius, the person most responsible for the fiasco, tells us she doesn’t work for us, meaning that although we have to pay her salary and provide her with unlimited perks, she only has to answer to Obama. She even has the audacity to channel her inner teenage brat when being questioned by a congressional oversight committee, muttering “Whatever,” in response to a legitimate question, just like a 14-year-old who’s being chided by a parent for getting bad marks or turning her bedroom into a pig sty.

But she’s not the only one. Ever since the debacle began on Oct. 1st, we have had one Democrat after another trying to pretend that Obama’s mantra (If you like your health care plan, you can keep your health care plan. Period. If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. Period.” ) means something along the lines of “You poor dumb sap. I’m Obama, the Great and Powerful, and I know best.”

Apparently, where Obama went wrong was in his punctuation. It was all those damn periods he kept tossing around. He should have used commas, so we’d have had an inkling that there was more and worse to come.

But you have to admire his disciples. The way they’re prepared to take a bullet for the putz puts the Secret Service to shame. There’s no lie they won’t tell, no depth to which they won’t stoop, in their attempt to shield Obama from honest criticism.

One of their favorite games is to repeat one after another that the insurance policies the ACA will replace are “lousy.” It amazes me how liberals inevitably glom on to a single word, and then repeat it ad nauseam, although there are any number of words, such as “inadequate,” “rotten, “ “second-rate” and “stinky”, that convey the same thought.

Another thing the leftists have been doing is downplaying the number of people who were blindsided by Obama’s campaign of lies, and have lost their coverage. If you’ve noticed, the Democrats keep dismissing them as a trivial five percent of the population. That means 15 million law-abiding, self-sufficient, Americans could be kicked to the side of the road by the end of the year. On the other hand, when Obama, Pelosi and Reid, were pushing this legislative turd through Congress, they insisted they were consuming one-sixth of the national economy on behalf of 30 million uninsured people, a mere 10% of the population; which, by the way, was a number that the creeps only managed to achieve by counting illegal aliens and young people who preferred spending their money on booze, drugs, clothes and electronic toys.

Nevertheless, I don’t hold Republicans blameless. After all, some of us are aware that even before HillaryCare bombed in the 90s the Democrats have been pushing for socialized health care; a scheme, by the way, that, not too surprisingly, was not based on RomneyCare, but on the programs in England, Canada and Cuba, that have made such a colossal mess of health care in those countries.

The biggest laugh these days is provided by those Democrats who keep feigning outrage over conservatives, even at this late date, wanting to kill the Act. Well, duh. Inasmuch as the libs took great delight in passing the Bill without a single Republican vote, while ignoring 85 amendments that Congressional Republicans tried to get the Senate to consider, why should it surprise anyone that most of us wish that the coroner of Oz could confirm that ObamaCare is “not only really dead, but really most sincerely dead”?

Still, the Republicans, to their eternal shame, did nothing to fix the obvious problems with health care when they controlled Congress and the White House during George W. Bush’s first two years in the White House. All that was really required was to allow people to purchase health insurance across state lines, which should have been a no-brainer for the Party that allegedly promotes competition and free enterprise; and forced every health insurance company that does business in the U.S. to contribute to a pool that would cover any previously insured person who came down with a catastrophic disease.

Finally, I am sick and tired of hearing Washington bureaucrats, such as Kathleen Sebelius, telling us to hold them personally accountable, which are perhaps, at least next to “the check’s in the mail,” the five most meaningless words in the English language.

Whether those words are spoken by the Secretary of Health and Human Services, the head of the IRS, the Secretary of State, the Attorney General or the President, I want them to be followed up by an indictment, a speedy trial and, one would hope, a hanging.

“The Piltdown Man Signs Up For Obamacare”

The language of liberalism is the language of liars. They pretend that the Affordable Care Act was divinely inspired and handed down in the form of stone tablets when everyone who doesn’t have his head in the sand knows that it only got passed because Harry Reid and Nancy browbeat or bribed their left-wing colleagues to get it enacted.

Even then, they had to promise that no senator or House member would be lumbered with the worst thing that’s come down the pike since unsliced bread. Obama might as well have said with a nod and a wink, “Don’t worry, my amigos, this is strictly for the suckers.”

A while back, my wife wrote to Sen. Dianne Feinstein, complaining about ObamaCare. The very day that Obama went on TV to try to explain how it is that a computer program that he blew $400 million of our tax dollars setting up has turned out to be something Rube Goldberg might have whipped up in his basement, Feinstein responded.

In her email, she stated among other fibs that “The ACA creates important benefits for health insurance customers, expands access to care, and protects Medicare while reducing the federal deficit.”

The truth, of course, is that none of those claims is supported by fact, unless you call providing men with pre-natal care and mammograms as important new health benefits, and if you accept that reducing Medicare by $700 million is a form of protection totally unlike any other.

One politician who has a saner perspective on the issue is Mrs. Feinstein’s colleague, Sen. James Inhofe of Oklahoma. After being successfully operated on for blocked arteries, he said that if he’d been insured under ObamaCare, “I probably wouldn’t be here today.”

As Inhofe points out and as Harry Reid stated during a recent TV interview, ObamaCare is merely a baby step on the way to single-pay socialized medicine, the system that inevitably leads to interminable waits for patients requiring surgery or any other sort of medical attention.

If you’re going to identify yourself as a socialist, you have to swear allegiance to the cockeyed notion of government-controlled health care, but I guarantee you that, in spite of going so far as to make a movie praising the Cuban health system, when Michael Moore, or, for that matter, the simpleminded members of the Congressional Black Caucus, have a health issue, they go to New York or Bethesda, not to Havana.

It also works that way when it comes to public education. Those politicians, including Obama, who praise these propaganda mills to the skies can always be relied on to have their own kids enrolled in private schools. After all, their own children don’t need to leave the house to be indoctrinated in leftist doctrine.

Speaking of the imposter in the Oval Office, it wasn’t that long ago that liberals used to insist that George W. Bush was avenging his father by going after Saddam Hussein. And yet they never even mention the far likelier scenario that Barack Hussein Obama is avenging himself on his drunken, communist, father’s sworn enemies; namely, the white race, western civilization, Christians, Jews, all non-Muslims and capitalists.

“Chicago,” Obama has said with a straight face, “is the ideal blueprint for national gun laws.”

Even after five years, I had no idea that Obama possessed such a whimsical sense of humor. I mean, unless there’s a Chicago I’ve never heard about, the one in Illinois is to murder what Milwaukee is to beer, Wisconsin is to cheese and Washington, D.C., is to bovine excrement.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.