President Obama should fire Rahm Emanuel and hire me as his top advisor. Don’t laugh. I can almost guarantee higher poll numbers for the president if he brings me on board.
The first thing I would do is declare a truce with Fox News. Right now, the president is spending more time launching offensives against FNC than the Taliban. I mean, come on, the American people want Bin Laden’s head on a stick, not Glenn Beck’s. What exactly does attacking FNC get the president? Plus, it’s hypocritical. Didn’t Barack Obama win the Nobel Peace Prize?
Next, I would suggest that the Commander-in-Chief actually listen to his top general in Afghanistan and his Secretary of Defense. After listening, the president should immediately send 40,000 more troops to provide more security in that God-forsaken place. As a trusted advisor, I would remind the president that the United States military is a vital enterprise and deserves a chance to win in Afghanistan.
After accomplishing those two things, President Obama and I would get lunch. Then, back to work.
Bringing down health care costs is huge for the president, and I would advise him to drop the so called “public option” and concentrate on increased insurance competition across state lines. If insurance companies could compete nationwide, health premiums would begin falling. And if you add tort reform to blunt the out-of-control medical lawsuit industry, doctors and medical personnel could charge less because their enormous medical malpractice bills would shrink.
By the way, the vast majority of Americans would support both of those things because they are free. They don’t cost the taxpayer anything. The public option would cost trillions. A good advisor should be frugal with taxpayer dollars.
Having dealt with all of that, the president and I would sit down for a heart to heart. I would tell him that he has to tamp down his fascination with far-left guys. Hanging around with Reverend Wright was okay when Barack Obama was a Chicago community guy playing hoops in the school yard, but now that he’s the most powerful man in the world, the left-wing loon factor becomes a red flag. I would gently suggest to the president that he might tell his top aides not to publicly say Chairman Mao was a great philosopher, as White House Communications Director Anita Dunn recently did.
In fact, while Mao was weaving his philosophy, more than 30 million Chinese died grisly deaths. So, as the president’s top advisor, I would advise the following: NO MORE REFERENCES TO MAO!
Finally, I would advise Barack Obama to stay off TV for a while. There is no question he is overexposed. However, I would advise him to go on The O’Reilly Factor. Because O’Reilly is no longer in the anchor seat, having taken the White House position, the president might even be able to complete a sentence. So, okay, to Fox News. Detente, at last.