Happy Holidays, Saudi Arabia
With Christmas now in the rearview mirror, it is perplexing that some far left bloggers are still bemoaning the fact that Newsweek Magazine proclaimed folks who respect the traditions of the Christmas holiday “won” the battle against secular-progressives who want to diminish the birth of Jesus in the public square.
Because of that ongoing angst, and because I am still in the Christmas spirit, I offer some travel tips to the anti-Christmas crew in preparation for next December. If you don’t like Christmas, book your trip now.
North Korea: according to reporting by ForeignPolicy.com, that feisty little country does not permit the celebration of Christmas – and anyone caught worshipping Jesus can be tortured or executed. Sounds like Rhode Island. Right now, there are about 70,000 Christians in North Korean labor camps, decking the halls with rocks and concrete ten hours a day.
The North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un, even threatened “unexpected consequences” if the South Korean government allowed lights on trees within view of the border. Leader Un calls that a provocation and a “mean form of psychological warfare.”
Saudi Arabia: here, all non-Muslim religious activities are banned in public – so unless Santa puts a prayer rug in his sleigh and heads directly for Mecca, he is persona-non-grata in this nation. The Saudis even have a religious police force, which runs around checking to see who has been naughty and nice, in the Islamic context.
According to ForeignPolicy.com, several dozen Christmas trees imported from Holland were seized by Saudi authorities, hacked to pieces, and then sent back to the Netherlands. So there. No Christmas for you!
Cuba: comrade Fidel banned the holiday in 1969, saying Cubans were needed to harvest sugar cane on December 25 – and don’t even think about Christmas dinner. That ban lasted three decades – until the Pope told Fidel to knock it off. Most Cubans are Catholic and didn’t really appreciate the government calling Santa a symbol of “consumerism” and “mental colonization.” When asked what exactly the “colonization” deal meant, Santa replied: “ho, ho, ho.”
Today, the communist government does not decorate buildings (there is little private property in Cuba) but does allow Cubans to put up Christmas stuff inside. However, the Cuban air force is likely to fire on any reindeer intruding on the country’s air space.
Cuba, Saudi Arabia and North Korea give American secular progressives three good options in which to avoid Christmas in 2013. Also, there are no public displays of Yuletide in Antarctica because there are no buildings. The country of Mali does not have much Christmas stuff going on, but watch out for al Qaeda. Finally, Bikini Island in the Pacific remains largely uninhabited, so there’s not much about Jesus on display.
Finally, I hope there is calm this year – especially in December. As Yoko Ono is fond of saying, let’s give peace a chance (and, by extension, drop the whining about Christmas).
If you can’t do that, Fidel and Comrade Un will be happy to see you.