It’s nothing new to see liberals engage in wordplay, where they misuse, euphemize, and essentially ruin everyday speech. That said, it’s impossible for me to not single out Politico’s Jonathan Martin, who a few days ago revealed his long-distance relationship with the word “fact” to Howard Kurtz (“…we had the fact that one of these women was brought upon by Cain…”)
Martin’s characterization of an allegation as if it were an established truth is just another utterance of “torture” in place of “waterboarding,” a sequel to “Bush lied-people died,” a twin sibling of “Republicans are the party of the Rich.” You can’t really blame the guy for doing it, frankly. For one thing, he no doubt believes Cain did it; he’d probably swallow every word if you told him a conservative candidate egged your house. For another, Martin needs to justify his eventual vote in the next election. When you pull the lever for a man who for 3 years has shown roughly the same ability to govern as a torn tablecloth, you’ll feel less like a moron if the opponent has been publicly shamed.
One silly little word recently used by a lone reporter (a term I’m using just for the sake of discussion) now has me in a ruffle because it brought to mind the even more annoying liberal word game, the use of euphemisms (used cars are now “pre-owned”, etc.)
Know what happened recently to all those illegal aliens? They disappeared and were replaced with scads of undocumented workers. Did you know there are no more handicapped people in the world? There are challenged people, though. Even Planned Parenthood’s name is a euphemism, but I do admit it rolls off the tongue way better than Unborn Baby-Death & Statutory Rape Concealment Emporium.
So why should liberals have all the fun? Not only do I think conservatives can use euphemisms to our own advantage, I bet we’d be downright euph-tastic. Examples:
-tax cuts, which in liberal parlance would be “revenue loss,” become “people keeping more of their hard-earned dough.”
-global warming, which liberals have already tarted up into “climate change,” is now “Al Gore’s new megamansion” courtesy of the Right.
-unions, often sanitized by liberals with “working-class,” are now the far more apt “knee-cappers with tenure.”
-Obamacare, with the official & noble-sounding title “Affordable Care Act,” becomes “The Trillion-Dollar Placebo.”
-the alternative energy industry (“green jobs”)? Nope. It’s now “umpteenth unemployment check.”
-deficit spending on public education (“investment”)? Nope again. Try “billions in backscratching.”
And in honor of the aforementioned Mr. Martin, who no doubt fancies himself a “journalist,” this conservative has created the title “Definition Pimp.”
Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe my baby daughter just made a wee-wee.
