At the risk of jinxing it, the whole “Clock Boy” affair appears to have come to an end. Texas high school freshman Ahmed Mohamed, who cashed in his invite to the White House a couple of weeks ago, I confess has a great deal of my admiration. I mean, his little “invention” managed to impress none other than Barack Obama, a guy whose knowledge of electronics cannot be overstated.
Kidding! The guy’s knowledge of electronics can’t even be mumbled, same as his knowledge of diplomacy, healthcare, economics, running a business, and every other topic he condescendingly lectures about to the more qualified. I admit I’m no Edison myself (after a field technician’s mistake triggered the 2011 Southwest Blackout, blanketing about 1/3 of California plus connecting areas in Mexico and Arizona, San Diego Gas & Electric called me and said “don’t worry, it wasn’t you”), but I could tell from first glance that what had Obama so impressed was pretty unimpressive. Even I could’ve done what Clock Boy did when I was his age, only I was busy dating Ms. Pac-Man and not hating America.
Just to refresh, 14-year-old Mohamed removed the guts from an ordinary digital clock and put them in a black pencil case roughly the size of a box of cake mix; by coincidence, it ended up bearing a strong resemblance to a bomb. And when I say “by coincidence” I mean “exactly as the little twerp intended.” He then used it (at the behest of his attention-slut father) to generate a hoax/mini-holy war, with great success. For that he was rewarded with that public slurping by the president, plus stuff like a nice elbow-rub at the U.N., and companies like Google and Facebook fantasizing about how to enrich him for life. By comparison, Nikola Tesla, the prolific Serbian physicist & electrical engineer responsible for some of the most important technological advances in world history, died penniless after decades of sweat & toil. (That noise you hear in central Europe is his ghost screaming “F*** ME!”)
So the dust is pretty much settled, and we know the Clock Boy Controversy was a phony little ploy–just a sleazecup dad using his kid to cause trouble. It makes sense if you think about it: his daughter was actually suspended from middle school in 2009, after a classmate reportedly heard her say she “wanted to blow up the school,” millions of people lapped up his latest scam like thirsty Labradoodles, and he is a sleazecup. Oh, in case you missed it, just before his visit to the White House, Ahmed accepted an invitation to hang out with none other than Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir, the noted whiz-kid booster, impeccable dresser, occasional hemorrhoid sufferer, and slaughterer of hundreds of thousands in Darfur. I don’t know what your definition of Utopia is, but mine is a place where nobody would get their kicks creating a bomb scare or suppering with a diabolical mass-murderer.
Anyway, the Mohamed family will soon be selling their house and jetting off to Qatar. Say, anybody know the over/under on Ahmed’s planned carry-on?
IN OTHER NEWS…
Credit where credit is due: As poorly as the CNBC moderators behaved during the GOP debate, at least they were nice enough to provide plenty of room onstage for the candidates. It became just so wonderfully open & spacious up there once they removed their Ted Cruz dartboard, Ben Carson speedbag, Carly Fiorina effigy, Marco Rubio tackling dummy, and Donald Trump urinal.
The guy just don’t learn: disgusted GOP Chair Reince Priebus has kicked NBC to the curb for a debate he knew would be moderated by John Harwood. Mr. Priebus is not the sort of guy you can trust with any control over your political future. He’s the sort of guy who’d buy a house with a giant cesspool in the backyard and then bitch about the smell.
Right up there with 7/4/1776: Paul Ryan’s House Speakership began with a history-making event: Nancy Pelosi behaving in a respectful manner.
Man’s got a pair in solid brass: Bernie Sanders just paid Hillary Clinton a huge compliment: he thinks she’s got VP potential. Quoting the Green Mountain Socialist’s campaign: “we’re willing to consider her for vice president. We’ll give her serious consideration. We’ll even interview her.” Now, what power-hungry, entitled, aspiring tyrant-queen wouldn’t love hearing that?
Football formality: According to league rules, any NFL team planning to relocate to another city must first conduct a town-hall for fans to come and make their voices heard. The San Diego Chargers did just that the evening of October 28th at the city’s storied Spreckles Theater. The team made it worth the fans’ while: not only did they genuinely seem to care, they covered the cost of parking as well as treats for the dogs and ponies.
Right on schedule: Members of the House do their impression of Obama negotiating with Iran, and hand over the debt ceiling increase he demanded. At least Obama is showing more class than Iran did–he didn’t insult Congress out loud the whole time.
This continuing resolution business as always stinks to high heaven, but the good news is our supply of cash available for national debt payments has grown since the previous CR. The spike began somewhere around the time the First Lady got back from her last vacation.
Spoiler alert: Truth, the movie about Dan Rather’s questionable reporting on George W. Bush’s National Guard service, has sold poorly at the box office since its October 16th release. It’s nothing new when liberals’ cinematic attempts to rewrite history end up bombs, but what’s refreshing about this one is the very fitting name of one of the production companies in the credits: Mythology Entertainment.
Pop quiz for anyone who hasn’t heard the Democrat front runner speak for three consecutive minutes: what gender is Hillary Clinton? (For extra credit, do not provide photographic proof.)