President Mitt Romney

The title of my latest book, Barack Obama, You’re Fired! (And Don’t Bother Asking for a Letter of Recommendation), is more than an example of wishful thinking. I am convinced that this year, Christmas will fall on November 6th when Santa Claus, recognizing who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, will do the right thing and fill our Christmas stocking with Mitt Romney and a Republican Senate.

The part I don’t get is why politicians who have been voted out of office in early November are then allowed to hang around until the third week of January, creating all sorts of mischief. What takes them so long to pack up and clear out? If you’re fired from a job in the real world, you’re expected to leave the premises and not let the door hit you in the backside. That being the case, why is a politician allowed 75 days to clean out his desk and hand over the keys? I mean, if we really wanted the stiff to keep voting, we wouldn’t have elected the other guy.

Speaking of other guys, back in 2006, someone who seemed to have his head screwed on right said, “The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the U.S. Government cannot pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government’s reckless fiscal policies. Increasing America’s debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means ‘the buck stops here.’ Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better.”

Who would have ever guessed that Senator Obama would ever wind up being a speechwriter for Mitt Romney?

When it comes to currency manipulation, I have tried to figure out why it’s so terrible when China does it, but not equally despicable when Ben Bernanke and the Federal Reserve engage in it in order to help finance Obama’s profligate ways.

Left-wingers are always nattering on about separation of church and state, pretending that they’re quoting verbatim from the Constitution, but they’re never the least bit concerned about the actual gulf that exists between socialist policies and the Constitution.

Liberals are like those little toys that, once wound up by the media, their professors or political hacks like Bill Clinton, Dick Durbin and Al Franken, will shuffle off until they bump up against a wall of reality and logic. Because they can’t get through the obstruction and because they refuse to learn from the experience, they just keep butting their tiny heads against the wall until they wind down and topple over.

It is for that reason that even after four years of the worst administration in America’s history, they continue to rally around an arrogant, incompetent, flop like Obama. Who else but Obama would go on The View and actually refer to himself as “eye candy”? Who else but Obama would kill an annoying fly during a TV interview and boast, “That was pretty impressive, wasn’t it? I got the sucker.”

On the other hand, all things considered, bringing down the pesky insect was a lot more impressive than hogging all the glory after the Navy Seals risked their lives taking out Osama bin Laden.

I, along with most normal people, thought it was pretty creepy when Chris Matthews confessed, after listening to an Obama speech, that he had felt a thrill running up his leg.

Not to be outdone, left-wing columnist David Brooks once reminisced, “I remember distinctly sitting on Obama’s couch, looking at his pant leg and its perfect crease, and thinking he’s going to be president and, moreover, he’ll be a very good president.”

I wonder what it could possibly be about Barack Obama that leads left-wing pundits to channel their inner Barney Frank.

Finally, as much as I enjoyed the old-fashioned walloping that Romney gave Obama during the Denver debate, I got a lot more laughs out of guys like David Axelrod and Al Gore trying to explain it all away as if it had merely been a bad dream. The biggest kick of all was hearing Gore insist that the reason Obama appeared to be in a coma was because he had arrived in the Mile High City mere hours before the event.

Apparently, Gore was under the impression that Obama had walked the entire way.

I suppose at the very least we should all be grateful that for the first time ever, the big goof refrained from blaming a natural disaster on global warming.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write