Setting the Record Straight

There is no way to even keep track of all the lies and nonsense floating around these days, let alone lay it all to rest. Still, every so often I find I have to make the attempt or I wind up feeling like the worst kind of slacker.

For instance, as a result of the Freeh Report on the horrific events that took place at Penn State, Joe Paterno’s reputation will never recover. That is as it should be. For obvious and sleazy reasons, the late football coach decided to turn a blind eye to Jerry Sandusky’s brutalizing little children. The problem is that college athletic coaches will continue to be referred to as builders of character and lauded as molders of men, at least so long as their teams continue to win championships.

I’m not suggesting there are no decent human beings in their ranks, but the only way that college coaches attain legendary status is by bending and breaking recruitment rules. After all, it’s difficult enough for professional sports teams to create dynasties, and they have tens of millions of dollars to toss around. But when your entire starting five or starting eleven is gone within a few years, as the team members graduate or simply leave to turn professional, how do you think colleges become basketball and football powerhouses?

And of course when the NCAA finally gets around to doling out punishment for recruiting violations, which generally include cash, cars and sex, it’s the colleges that have to endure the punishments. The coaches, with their winning records, simply move on to other schools and for fatter contracts.

But so long as alumni groups filled with perennial juveniles continue to base their financial contributions on the success of college sports teams, nothing will ever change, and folks as sleazy as Joe Paterno will continue to have statues erected in their honor.

On the nonsense front, we have a tree in New Jersey that is attracting thousands of visitors. They’re showing up in order to see the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, a Roman Catholic icon of the Virgin Mary, in a 6-inch section of the trunk. Nobody is more respectful of other people’s religious beliefs, however far-fetched, than I am, but what are these pinheads thinking?

And when it’s not Mary, you have probably noticed, it’s her son. Hardly a year goes by that you don’t hear about folks seeing what they insist is the face of Jesus in all sorts of inanimate objects. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to understand that they are making a mockery of their religion. I mean, do they really believe that when their savior returns to earth, as they believe he will, it will be in the form of a head of lettuce or a rust stain on the side of a garage?

Not too long ago, a North Carolina assemblywoman named Becky Carney accidentally pulled the wrong lever, and her mistake spelled the difference in an assembly vote that opened the door to oil being extracted through a process known as fracking. Because environmentalists hate fossil fuels with a passion, her vote, as Joe Biden would say, was a big fracking deal. It also served once again to prove that the only time liberals ever vote the right way is by mistake.

By now it’s obvious that Obama realizes the only way he can be re-elected is for people to ignore his record and to focus, instead, on Romney’s negatives. So it is that Obama is constantly reminding voters that Romney is a rich guy. Fortunately, that’s a strategy fraught with problems. For one thing, Obama is a millionaire. So are such left-wing politicians as Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer and Harry Reid. And while it’s true that Romney is richer than they are, the Clintons are worth well over a hundred million dollars, while John and Teresa Kerry could buy and sell the Romneys.

In fact, considering how wealth-conscious liberals are, I find it odd that they never held their family fortune against John, Ted or Bobby Kennedy. And that was a fortune built the old-fashioned way, through bootlegging.

When it comes to hypocrisy, probably nothing compares to international groups such as the U.N. and the Global Counterterrorism Forum. The GCF is comprised of 30 nations, co-chaired by the United States and Turkey. Its purpose is to bring together those nations that have suffered terrorist attacks in an attempt to prevent and punish those responsible. The problem is that because Islamic Turkey doesn’t like Israel, Barack Hussein Obama and Hillary Clinton have agreed to exclude the Jewish state, in spite of the fact that it has suffered more terrorist attacks and, aside from the U.S., done more to combat terrorism than the other 29 nations combined.

This is the same Turkey, by the way, that was behind the so-called “Gaza Freedom Flotilla” that set out to provoke an armed response by attempting to run the Israeli blockade and provide Hamas with weaponry.

This is also the same American president and secretary of state, let us not forget, who are always claiming to be Israel’s friend and ally, at least when election times roll around. In the meantime, however, these are the same two people who condemn the Israelis for building apartment houses in Jerusalem and for defending themselves against relentless missile attacks.

With friends like these, Israel, as the old saying goes, doesn’t have to go looking for enemies.

Finally, for those of us who regard Obama’s voice as the biggest drone in America’s arsenal, one of the great things about a Romney victory is that it will totally shock the egomaniacal Obama and render him speechless.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Write to